


The Secret Of Who I Am

by charmed4lifekaren



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Spoilers, Dysfunctional Family, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Secrets, Howard Stark is a better father than people think, More tags to be added, Multi, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Swearing, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-03-30 09:17:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 47,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3931399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmed4lifekaren/pseuds/charmed4lifekaren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Battle with Ultron Tony Stark finds himself wanting to get out of Avengers Tower for a while so he heads to one of his father’s old properties. While there he discovers secrets about himself and his family that were long ago hidden, secrets that change everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

This is set during post Age of Ultron. Mild Spoilers.

 **AN1** : So after the news that Agent Carter had been renewed I felt the need to write a story with a focus on Peggy/Howard/Steve/Bucky and this was the result. I hope you like.

* * *

**June 9th 2015**

Ever since the battle with Ultron and the conversation with Steve Rogers at the New Avengers facility Tony Stark has been keeping to himself; trying to deal with what he has done. Something which has been relatively easy with Pepper busy working; Rhodey, Natasha, Maria, Fury, Dr Cho, and Steve at the new facility; Clint being with his family and Bruce MIA. Even Tony had to admit that it has been pretty lonely, epically since he doesn't have JARVIS to talk to anymore.

Because he couldn't stand to be at Avengers Tower any longer Tony travelled out to one of his father's properties. He decided to do this because he had been avoiding going through his father's belongs for a long time, and right now it sounded like something which could be a good distraction.

Once outside of the old house Tony spends some time looking around the old property. He didn't get to spend a lot of time there growing up, but he did know that it was a place that his father very much loved. As he looks around Tony spots the house that belonged to Edwin and Anna Jarvis. Even though he is tempted to go inside Tony heads to the main house instead.

As he enters Tony pauses at the top of the stairs for a minute trying to decide where to go first. After a bit of thinking and internal debating Tony decides to head to his father's office. As he pushes open the door and enters Tony realises that the cleaners that come out once a month have done their job correctly; the place is exactly like how his father left it. Before starting to look around Tony heads directly over to Howard's desk; to look at the photo which he knows is on it. The photo is of him, his father and Peggy Carter. It was taken at a collage level engineering contest he won at ten years old. If anyone were to ask about the photo, even the people he considers himself to be closest to, Tony would say that the only reason his father was there was because he told Peggy about the competition and she forced Howard to come; but Tony knows that isn't true. He knows that his father was there because he wanted to be. His father was a much better father than Tony has lead people to believe, but after all these years sometimes he finds it hard to remember that; sometimes he finds himself believing the lies he has been telling.

For as long as Tony can remember, his father has had two different sides; basically two different personalities. There was the one he showed in public, and the one he showed at home. Growing up he always preferred the home personality a lot more than the other. Another thing that has happened as long as Tony can remember is his dad's words to him.  _"I'm sorry Son, but this is the way it has to be. One day you'll understand why I do this. I love you, never doubt that; but I can't be the person I am with you outside these walls, and you can't ever tell anyone this. You can't tell them who I really am."_  Tony always wondered what his father meant by that, but after his father's death he figured that he would never know.

Deciding to check the desk first Tony sits down on the chair and opens the first draw. As soon as he does Tony sees one thing that has changed since his father's death, the fact that his father's death certificate is now sitting in the top draw.

Hesitantly Tony reaches down and picks it up. As he looks at the writing that he memorized so long ago, Tony finds himself remembering a morning from a long time ago...

 

_December 17th 1991_

_It was two-thirty A.M. and it had been less than an hour since Tony Stark found two police officers at his door. The officers informed him that his parents had been killed in a car accident on Long Island. Most of the last hour had been a blur. Tony wasn't exactly sure how he ended up at Peggy Carter's door; an almost empty bottle of scotch in hand. All he knew was that he didn't want to stay home. There was only one place that he wanted to go; Peggy's. As long as he could remember Peggy had been in his life; in a lot of ways she had been more of a mother to him that Maria Stark, who had never really been around much._

_Banging on the door, Tony realised that Peggy would likely be asleep. But, hearing movement inside, he shrugged the thought off._

" _Finally…" He hears Peggy's voice start as the door opens. "Tony? What are you doing here? It's late. Tony, what is it?" Peggy asks letting him into the apartment, helping him as he is unsteady on his feet. He could tell that Peggy knew something was wrong._

" _They're dead." Tony slurred as Peggy closed the door. "They're gone." Tony he told her, tears rolling down his face._

" _Who?" Peggy asked of him._

" _Mom and Dad. They were in a car accident on Long Island. The police told me." Tony, told her. "They're gone, Peggy." Tony said, the pain evident in his voice even to him._

" _Oh, Tony." Peggy said, walking the few steps that separate them and pulling him into a tight hug._

 

 

What happened after that is even more of a blur to Tony, but he does remember crying on Peggy for what felt like an eternity. He also remembers Peggy telling him to try and get some sleep, which he did. Another vague memory he has is hearing Peggy talking in a hushed tone and a knock on the door, but nothing much more than that until he woke hours later to food and coffee that Peggy left him.

Not really wanting to dwell on the painful past anymore Tony puts his father's death certificate down on the desk, and gets up and goes over to the book shelf. He feels that that may be a safer choice than continuing to look through his father's desk.

As he looks through the book shelves Tony occasionally pulls out a book to look at. As he pulls out a book that seems vaguely interesting Tony notices what looks like a panel in the shelf behind; he then pulls out several more books so that he can get a better look.

"What are you hiding, Dad?" Tony asks out loud, not really expecting an answer. Reaching into the panel Tony lifts the cover and instead of finding a key pad, which he could easily bypass, he finds a thumb scanner. "Okay, slightly more difficult." He mutters, but taking a chance Tony reaches out and puts his thumb to the scanner. To his surprise a green light appears and the book shelf that he is standing next to moves forward, revealing a small space between the shelf and the wall. Not being able to help his curiosity Tony squeezes into the small space, which takes a fair amount of effort, and looks around him.

At first glance Tony thinks it's just another empty space, but then he notices a shelf on the back of the bookshelves where three large albums rest. Each album is labelled with either a one, two or three and as the number increases so does the size of the album. For a couple of minutes Tony stares at the albums and wonders what is inside. Deciding that he needs to know Tony picks up all of the albums, which are actually quiet heavy, and carries them over to his father's desk.

Once he has placed the albums down in order Tony sits down on the chair and pulls the first album towards him; wondering what he will find. On the first page he sees a picture of his father, Peggy Carter, Steve and someone that Tony knows to be Bucky Barnes looking back at him. The photo was clearly taken at the height of the war; they all look exhausted, and Steve, Peggy and Bucky are wearing uniforms. Despite that, they all look happy and relaxed, and Tony realises that the Steve in the picture doesn't have the look in his eyes that the Steve he knows now has.

"Okay, why would you hide this?" Tony asks as he knows that the fact that the four of them were friends isn't exactly a secret; so why would his father hide photos in a secret alcove on a secret shelf? Wondering what else he will find Tony continues to flip through the album. On every page there are pictures, some of which are hand drawn rather than photographs, of some combination of Steve, Howard, Peggy and Bucky. Sometimes with people that Tony knows to be the other Howling Commandoes; all of which were clearly taken or drawn during the war. As he looks through the album Tony realises that the four of them were clearly very, very close, and that it seems to be something that Steve might like to see; or something that he should take the next time he visits Peggy. Once he looks at the last picture in the album, a picture of Steve and Bucky, both of them grinning like they are sharing a private joke, Tony closes the album and pulls the second album towards him, wondering what he will find in that one.

The second album is bigger than the first. From the second he opens it he knows that these pictures are from after the war. The first picture is of Peggy and Howard standing with their arms around each other clearly happy and, judging by the champagne in both their hands, they are celebrating something. As he flips through this album Tony doesn't find one hand drawn picture, but there are more people that Tony recognizes. There are Jarvis and Anna, his mother, Peggy's former husband Daniel Sousa and his parents' close friends Angie Martinelli, and Jack Thompson. As he looks through the pictures, getting more confused with every picture that he sees, Tony realises that his father and Peggy look like a couple, same with his mother and Angie and Jack and Daniel, which is pretty odd. As he arrives at a picture of Peggy and Howard fast asleep their arm around each other and his mother and Angie awake, but cuddled up together, both grinning happily, Tony realise exactly why these pictures are hidden. For his entire life Tony has suspected that there was more to his parents' marriage then he knew; in fact he has known since he was seven that Maria Stark wasn't his biological mother. That made the fact that she wasn't around much hurt less, but he never asked his Dad about it as he was never sure how to.

"All their marriages were fake." Tony realises, staring at the picture next to the one with his father and Peggy cuddled up. That picture shows all eight of them, clearly taken with a timer. In the picture Howard is kissing Peggy's cheek. Daniel and Jack are kissing, clearly oblivious to the world around them. Angie and Maria are looking at each other with looks full of more love than Tony ever saw them show their husbands, and Anna and Jarvis have their arms around each other. "Okay, them not being publicly together makes sense." Tony says, looking between Jack and Daniel and Angie and Maria, as he knows that up until the late seventies, early eighties, it would have been illegal for them to be together, and that's not even considering the affects it would have on their careers. "But why couldn't Dad and Peggy?" He asks; wondering why Peggy and Howard couldn't be together publicly. After forcing himself to look away from the picture and continue on, Tony finds more proof with every page that he turns that there is so much he didn't know. When he is about five pages from the end Tony almost falls of his chair in shock; as he finds pictures of his Dad and a clearly pregnant Peggy Carter. This is shocking as Peggy doesn't have any children, though she was quiet close to her niece and nephew.

"Peggy is my Mom." Tony realises, pinching himself to make sure he is really seeing what he thinks he is seeing; he always liked to imagine that Peggy could be his mother. But he never thought in a million years that it could be true, even after he found out that Maria wasn't. The last few pages of the album are were clearly taken during Peggy's pregnancy. In every picture Tony can't help but smile at how happy Peggy and Howard seemed, but he is even more confused about why he was raised believing that Maria was his mother. As he reaches the last picture in the album, Peggy and Howard lying together, both of their hands protectively over Peggy's almost fall term stomach, glaring at whoever took the picture, Tony is pretty sure that he knows what he is going to find in the last one, but he can't bring himself to look, not yet. Instead he just stares at the picture and wonders what the hell happened.

"Come on Tony, you can do it. You've come this far." Tony says, about half an hour later, after closing the second album.

Pretty sure that he knows exactly what he is going to find in the last album Tony pulls it towards him, and after taking a deep breath he opens it and unlike the others the first page isn't a photo but a document.

"Certificate of birth?" Tony says confused, as he has his original birth certificate, so how can it be in the album? If everything he has seen so far has been a shock then it is nothing compared to what he finds when he reads the birth certificate. "Name: Anthony Edward Rogers-Barnes-Carter-Stark." Tony says in complete shock, as that wasn't what he was expecting. "Mother: Margret Carter. No surprises there." Tony mutters, but even if the name gave away what he would find it doesn't make it any less of a shock to see.  _Father,_  with a apostrophe  _S_  added in pen,  _Steven Rogers, James Barnes, Howard Stark_ , in Howard's handwriting.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

This is set post Age of Ultron. Mild Spoilers.

 **AN1:** A HUGE THANK YOU to my Friend Emily who is editing this story and who is helping me figuring things out when I get stuck, So THANK YOU.

AN2: Thank you to everyone who added to alerts, left kudos, or left a comment/review.

* * *

In upstate New York, at the New Avengers Facility, Steve Rogers is staring at the same wall he found Natasha staring at a week earlier. In the week since Tony left Steve has been working constantly with Natasha to train the new Avengers, and other recruits. Training has been going well, but every time Steve looks around the facility he feels a pain in his heart. Everywhere he looks he is reminded, in one way or another, of the three people who should be here with him. Before the ice, before he woke up in the future, Steve was in love, he was loved; but not just with and by Peggy like the history books imply. He loved three people with the entity of his heart, and they loved him, but more important is that they loved each other too.

Peggy Carter, Bucky Barnes and Howard Stark were his friends, his family, and the loves of his life. It took them a while to admit what was going on between them, and what they were all feeling, but once they did they never looked back and together they made the hell that was war a little daunting for one another.

When Steve first woke up in the future he thought that he would never get used to being without them; but as hard as it has been he has, to a degree. Though that doesn't mean that it hurts any less or that he doesn't miss them just as much as he did when he first woke up. Seeing and being around Tony has been one of the hardest things for Steve. He is a constant reminder that one of the people he loves moved on, not that he blames Howard for that as honestly he is glad that Howard was happy.

Over the last two and a bit years, in the time that they have spent together, Steve has gotten used to seeing Howard in Tony. Even with his recent behaviour Steve doesn't doubt that Howard would be incredibly proud of his son; but the reaction to his language comment in Sokovia threw him for a loop. Anyone who spends time with him knows that Steve has a bad mouth, and after hearing Tony's comment for second it was like he was back in the war. Back then it wouldn't have been Howard who would have made that comment, it would have been Bucky; and Steve isn't quite sure how to deal with that fact.

"Are you going to continue to stare at the wall all day, Rogers?" A voice asks and Steve turns to see Fury walking towards him.

"Did you need something, Sir?" Steve asks.

"No. I have something for you." Fury says as he walks towards him. "The old friends I went to see have been working out of an old SSR base; a base that Former Director Carter spent a lot of time at." Fury reveals. "A few months ago they got in a spot of bother and they had to go through some of the private files that Director Carter left. One of them found this and gave it to me when I saw her. I thought you might like it." Fury says handing Steve an old photograph.

"Thank you, Sir. I do." Steve says looking down at the photo. The photo was from only a few days before they believed Bucky died. Howard had somehow gotten his hands on a camera and insisted that they used the entire roll of film so he could replace it and leave the person whose camera it was none the wiser. In the particular picture that Steve is looking at he, Peggy, and Bucky had been trying to get the camera off Howard when Dum Dum came in because he thought they were being attacked. When Dum Dum saw what they were doing he called them idiots and took the camera of Howard and took a picture of them; which is how a picture of the four of them laying on the floor half on top of each other came to be.

As he stares at the photo Steve realises that it was one of the last times they were all together. As painful as that is Steve can't help but remember how happy they were, and be happy about that even though he is hurting. Because he is so focused on the photo Steve doesn't even notice when Fury walks away, he just stares at the photo, at the three people he loves the most.

"Are you going to keep staring at whatever Fury gave you or are you going to come to lunch?" Natasha's voice says, finally drawing Steve's attention away from what he is staring at.

"Huh, what?" Steve asks looking over at Natasha who is smirking.

"For half an hour you've been staring at whatever it is that Fury gave you. What gives?" Natasha asks curious, walking over to him.

"It's nothing." Steve says as he, being as careful as possible, folds the photo and puts it in his pocket.

"Right." Natasha says, clearly not believing him, "So, are you coming to eat?"

"Yeah, I'll be right there." Steve says and Natasha turns back around and walks away. Once Natasha is a few meters in front of him Steve pulls the photo out of his pocket and unfolds it,

"I miss you." Steve says to the photo before re-folding it and heading towards where the Avengers, Fury, Hill and Dr Cho eat.

* * *

After spending almost an hour staring at the birth certificate Tony forced himself to continue to look through the final album. Just like he suspected it was full of pictures from his childhood, some of which he doesn't remember being taken, and the time before his father died; but it was so much more than that. It was full of basically anything you could imagine connected to him; photos, tests he took, work he did, articles about him and his achievements, and awards he won. Once he finished looking at the album Tony turned back to the first page and once more continued to stare at the birth certificate.

After another half an hour of staring Tony realises that he needed some answers so he carefully takes the certificate out of the album and puts it on the desk. Once he puts the certificate down Tony picks up the albums, and takes them back to the alcove. Once the albums are back in the same place that he found them, and the bookshelf is back in place Tony picks up the certificate and leaves the room. He leaves planning on going talk to someone who may be able to give him some answers; but who may be as confused as he is.

* * *

"So what was so interesting about whatever you were staring at?" Sam asks Steve curious, about ten minutes after they all sat down to eat lunch.

"A memory." Steve answers vaguely, and thankfully before anyone can question him the door opens and Tony walks in.

"Wow Stark, you look like shit." Natasha comments and everyone else has to admit that she is right as Tony looks far from alright.

"Thanks." Tony says sarcastically but it is clear to everyone that it is half-hearted, "I need to talk to you." He says looking at Steve.

"Sure, what's going on?" Steve asks, not being able to help but being concerned.

"Not here. Privately?" Tony asks, having spent the entire car drive to the facility trying to comprehend what he has discovered, but failing miserably.

"Sure." Steve says standing up and following Tony out of the room.

"Any idea what that's about?" Maria asks Rhodey knowing that if anyone knows then it would be him.

"No, and that's what's worrying." Rhodey admits, "I've never seen Tony like that." He admits as Tony is always very careful about what he shows people.

* * *

After leaving the dining area Steve and Tony head towards the private common area that only the higher ups at the facility have access to, choosing it as their place to talk as it decreases their chances of being disrupted.

As they walk Tony tries to figure out how he is going to say what he has to say and ask what he has to ask. While Tony does that Steve keeps shooting him concerned looks.

"What's going on Tony?" Steve asks once they are in the room and the door is closed behind them.

"My Dad wasn't as big of a jerk as I make it seem." Tony says, deciding that that's the best place to start.

"Okay…" Steve says confused.

"As long as I can remember Dad would always tell me  _'I'm sorry Son, but this is the way it has to be. One day you'll understand why I do this. I love you, never doubt that, but I can't be the person I am with you outside these walls, and you can't ever tell anyone this. You can't tell them who I really am.'"_ Tony says, changing his voice to make himself sound so much like Howard that it hurts Steve to hear. "I never got why at home Dad would be amazing, loving and always there for me, but then in public be the complete opposite; and why I would always have to say that's who he was all the time." Tony says, still not completely understanding that but if he had to guess he would say that it has something to do with why he never knew that Peggy was his mother. "It was my idea to go to boarding school. Dad didn't ship me off. It was the place where I thought I could learn the most. Dad didn't want me to go, he tried to talk me out of it, but as soon as he realised how important it was to me he agreed." Tony reveals. "Ever since he died I've been putting out the image of the person Dad was in public, because I knew that's what he would have wanted me to do. Whenever someone, no matter who they are or how well I knew them, asked about Dad I said he was cold or detached, because that's what I was taught to say; and in the years since he died a part of me has started to believe the lie."

"Why are you telling me this?" Steve asks confused, but also glad as every time he's heard Tony talk about his father he has wondered and worried what happened to Howard to caused him to change so drastically.

"Because today I was at one of my father's old properties. I was looking around his office and I found a secret shelf. There was three albums. The first one was full of pictures, both hand-drawn and photographs, and in every single picture was, in some combination, my father, you, Peggy Carter, and Bucky Barnes." Tony explains.

"I can explain." Steve says, surprised by that.

"The four of you were together." Tony says, it being a statement not a question.

"We were, but it was more than that." Steve says, not sure what to say as for the last two years he has been debating whether to tell Tony everything, but every time he has gotten close to he decided against it. "We loved each other. I still love them. I always will." Steve says, "They were, they are, the loves of my life."

"I need to sit down." Tony says walking over to the couch and sitting down. "Why didn't you say something?" He asks.

"Because I didn't know how." Steve admits, walking over and sitting on the couch across from Tony. "Not a lot of people knew about us and after I woke I learnt that your father and Peggy had both gotten married after the war to other people, but they remained close friends. I didn't want to change the way you saw your father or family friend." Steve says and at that Tony can't help but laugh which completely confused Steve. "Why are you laughing?" He asks.

"Because…." Tony starts to say but he just continues to laugh and for about five minutes Steve just watches confused as Tony laughs, "Sorry, trust me if you knew what I knew you would understand me laughing." Tony says, forcing himself to calm down. "When I was seven I read a book on genetics, Dad had a lot of them, which is odd considering he was an Engineer. I wasn't even a chapter in when I realised that there was no way my Mom could be my biological mother." Tony says, not really sure what to refer to Maria Stark as anymore, "I confirmed it later." He explains. "I never asked Dad about it, I didn't know how. I figured that she must know, that it explained a lot. Like the fact that Peggy was around more than her, but despite that she choose to stay anyway, which meant a lot to me." Tony explains and at his words Steve can guess where Tony's going but he can't bring himself to stop him either so he just continues to listen. "The second album I found today was full of picture from after the war. They were of my Dad, Peggy, Mom, Peggy's husband Daniel, Dad's butler and friend Edwin Jarvis, his wife, and two of my parents' friends Angie and Jack." Tony says, not exactly sure how Steve is going to react to the next part, but considering his own relationship history, something which Tony is doing his best not to think about, he figures that Steve will be fine with it, surprised but fine, "There was in so many pictures, but in every picture it seemed like Dad and Peggy were a couple. Daniel and Jack were a couple, and Angie and Mom were as well." Tony reveals. "The further through the album I looked the more I realised that that is exactly what the photos were showing me, and it was like a veil was lifted. I saw my childhood in a different way, and a lot of things made more sense than they ever have before." He admits.

"Peggy and Howard were together after the war?" Steve asks shocked, but in a way also glad.

"I think so." Tony answers. "I never knew, but after what I found today I'm pretty much positive that they were." He reveals. "My guess is that Dad and Mom had a fake marriage and Peggy and Daniel did to protect them considering the times; though I haven't figured out why Dad and Peggy couldn't publicly be together." Tony admits and honestly Steve isn't sure of that either, though he has a theory, "The last few pages of the album was mainly pictures of just my Dad and Peggy; and in every single one of them Peggy was pregnant." Tony reveals.

"Peggy's your mother." Steve says looking at Tony, who nods, with a look of complete shock on his face. As Steve looks at Tony he realises things he has forced himself not to see before and he realises that Tony does look like Peggy; that he defiantly has the same protectiveness that Peggy has when it came to her friends and her sarcasm.

"On the first page of the final album I found this." Tony says pulling the birth certificate out of his pocket, "I was hoping you would have an explanation." He says handing the document over.

"Birth Certificate?" Steve asks as even to someone who isn't a genius that should be pretty obvious.

"Keep reading." Tony says and as Steve does he gets a look of complete shock on his face.

"Anthony Edward Rogers-Barnes-Carter-Stark." Steve says, knowing without a doubt that he has never been so surprised in his entire life.

"Apparently." Tony comments, still not sure how to handle that. "I know you've visited Peggy, has she ever said anything to you about this?"

"No." Steve says looking between the piece of paper and Tony, "But a lot of time she isn't sure what year it is." He says as he is pretty sure that and the fact that they have avoided talking about her and Howard's lives after the war would explain why she hasn't told him.

"Oh, I thought you might know something." Tony admits, Steve being able to hear the disappointment in Tony's voice.

"I don't, not any more than you do, anyway." Steve says, "Howard, Peggy, Bucky and I were together for almost two years. Every time Bucky, Peggy or I went on a mission or Howard went to show his inventions to the higher ups or to another base we always wondered if it was the last time we would see each other." Steve says, Tony being able to hear the sadness to his voice, "But sometimes we would talk about our future. We all knew that our relationship would never be accepted. Today it probably wouldn't be, but back then it was un heard of, unimaginable, considered completely wrong. Of course Howard didn't care about that, but he was Howard, that's who he was, so it wasn't as surprise." Steve says a fondness to his voice, and looking like he is remembering something good.

Not really sure if he wants to know what Steve is remembering Tony awkwardly clears his throat, trying to get Steve to continue with what he was saying.

"Right, sorry, as I was saying. A couple of times, usually when we were relaxed, we would talk about our future, imagine just for a little while that maybe we did have a future, and that in that future we could be together; that maybe we could be a family, have a family. It was a nice fantasy." Steve says, the sadness back in his voice. "If I had to guess I would say that when they had you Peggy and Howard remembered that and decided that even though Bucky and I weren't around they wanted to honour what we had." Steve says as that is his best explanation for why Tony's last name is what it is; and why he and Bucky are down as fathers on a birth certificate written over twenty years after they were assumed dead. At Steve's explanation Tony nods and for several minutes they are both silent, both of them thinking about everything that they have learnt.

"Why do you think they didn't raise me together?" Tony asks after about ten minutes of silence. "Why do you think I never knew the truth?" He asks as after everything he has learnt Tony figures that if anyone would know the answer to that it would be Steve.

"I don't know." Steve admits as honestly that is what he is the most curious about. "But I know them. I know they must have had a very good reason and I would say that, for whatever reason, it was what was best for you." He explains as he knows Peggy and Howard; he knows that they wouldn't have done something like that without a very good reason.

"Can you think of someone who could know? Someone you know they trusted back then?" Tony asks as he wants answers, he wants to know why no one thought to tell him that his mother wasn't in fact his mother.

"Not living." Steve says. "The only person who would know is Peggy."

"Yeah, well, like you said Peggy doesn't always know what year it is. A lot of the time I visit her she thinks I'm Dad." Tony says, and this time it's Steve's turn to notice the undertone of pain.

"What about one of the people you talked about? Your Dad's butler and his wife, his friends?" Steve asks.

"All dead. Angie was the last one to die and she died in two thousand and eight." Tony says, remembering, because he was at her funeral. "I need answers. I'm going to go to DC. I just hope it's a good day for Peggy." Tony says, as he knows without a doubt that it's his only chance of getting answers.

"Would you mind if I came?" Steve asks. He is nervous as even though he wants answers to he isn't sure how Tony's going to react to that considering everything he has found out.

"No, you deserve answers to." Tony responds, "I'll meet you out front in ten." He says, Steve nods and hands back Tony's birth certificate.

"Thanks." Tony says and he walks out of the room.

For a few minutes after Tony leaves Steve sits and tries to comprehend everything he learnt. Peggy and Howard were together after the war. They had a son. A son that they gave his and Bucky's last name to, that they considered to be theirs to; that he's been working with for two years. As he thinks about everything Steve realises how overwhelmed he is and that he can't image how overwhelmed Tony must be feel. Five minutes after Tony left Steve gets up and heads out of the room, knowing that there is something he needs to do before meeting Tony.

* * *

Even though he knows that there is nothing that he, or Steve would have to do that would take ten minutes Tony said to meet in ten as he knew that they needed ten minutes to deal. After leaving Steve Tony headed down to the garage as he really needs to do something with his hands.

"Mr Stark, can I help you?" One of the mechanics asks as soon as Tony walks into the lab.

"No." Tony says walking over to someone who is working on one of the cars, "Move." Tony says to the person.

"Excuse me?" The person asks, looking up at Tony annoyed.

"Look, I know I'm being rude, but I don't care. I need ten minutes working on an engine and yours is all set up. Once I'm done you're welcome to have it back."

"Help yourself." The person says moving out of the way so that Tony can get to the engine.

"I always do." Tony says picking, looking at the engine. As soon as he figures out what needs to be done Tony picks up the right tool and the second he starts to work he feels himself starting to relax.

* * *

After leaving the common area Steve heads back to the dinning are. Just like he was expecting he finds Natasha, Fury, Maria, Rhodey, Wanda, Vision and Sam clearly waiting for him to come back.

"So, what's going on?" Sam asks when he sees Steve.

"I'm taking the rest of the day. I'll be back later." Steve responds.

"Is everything okay? Is Tony okay?" Rhodey asks, concern for his friend clear in his voice.

"He's…..it's complicated." Steve says realising that he can't say that Tony is okay as he doesn't know if he is. "There's something we need to do. I'll be back later." He says before leaving the room.

"Now's the time when we worry, right?" Sam asks.

"I think so." Natasha says with a frown, wondering what happened.

* * *

About eleven minutes after Tony left the common area he walks outside and to his car where Steve is waiting.

"You ready to go?" Tony asks as he unlocks the car.

"Yeah. Tony, you know that Peggy might not be able to give us the answers you want, right?" Steve asks, being pretty sure that if Peggy can't then he is going to be very disappointed.

"Of course I know." Tony says, not even trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. "But I have to try." He says and Steve nods. "Plus I've been slacking on my visiting. It's about time I made a trip to DC." He says getting in the car.

"We're flying right?" Steve asks as he gets in the car himself.

"Of course." Tony responds as he speeds off before Steve has a chance to put on his seatbelt; both of them hoping that Peggy is going to be able to give them the answers they seek.

 **AN3:**  Next chapter you will get the full explanation of Tony.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

This is set during post Age of Ultron. Mild Spoilers.

 **AN1:** A HUGE THANK YOU to my Friend Emily who is editing this story and who is helping me figuring things out when I get stuck, So THANK YOU.

I know the science in this chapter may not make exact sense, but just go with it.

 **AN2:**  Please leave a review or comment, it would mean so much to me.

* * *

It is about two hours after Steve and Tony left the Avengers Facility they arrive at the nursing home that Peggy lives at.

"Tony, are you alright?" Steve asks concerned as a few minutes after he turned off the engine Tony has made no effort to get out of the car.

"I don't know." Tony admits, only doing so as he needs to say what he is thinking out loud and he is so far beyond the point of caring if anyone hears. "Peggy was always there for me when I was growing up. She didn't miss anything." Tony says, knowing that he would never be able to put into words how much that meant to him. "I used to wish that she was really my mother, but I never ran the test because it was a nice fantasy and I didn't want it to proven wrong." He reveals. "Why wouldn't they tell me? Why would they keep this from me?" Tony ask, trying his best not to show how much knowing that he was kept in the dark is hurting him.

"I don't know why they didn't tell you. I don't know why the made the decisions they did. The only one who does is Peggy. She's the only one who has the answers you want." Steve says, trying to be comforting but not sure if he is.

"But she might not remember them." Tony says.

"Like you said earlier, let's hope it's a good day."

"Let's go." Tony says pulling the key out of the ignition and heading inside.

* * *

A few minutes after they left the car, during which no words were exchanged, Steve and Tony arrive at the nurses' station outside Peggy's room.

"Tony, it's good to see you." One of the nurses, a tall thin man, says when he sees Tony.

"Yeah, good to see you too, Jessie." Tony says recognizing the nurse. "How is she today?"

"Pretty good. I think today is a good day." Jessie informs Tony.

"Good. I'll see you later." Tony says before heading to Peggy's room, Steve right behind him.

"Tony." Peggy says with a smile as Tony walks in.

"Hey, Peggy." Tony says, forcing himself to give a smile as even with everything shocking he learnt it doesn't change the fact that he cares about Peggy, though it also doesn't change the fact that he is hurt.

"Steve." Peggy says, noticing him as Tony sits down in the chair right next to her bed.

"Peggy."

"Did you both come together or did you happen to arrive at the same time?" Peggy asks, surprise that they are both there as even though she knows that they know each other they have never visited her together.

"We came together." Tony answers. "We need to talk to you Peggy."

"What about?" Peggy asks, there being one thing that is top of her list about what they could want to talk about, but she isn't sure how they would have found that out.

"I went to dad's New York Mansion today. There were three large albums hidden in an alcove and in the third one I found this." Tony says pulling the birth certificate out once more. "Is this real?"

"Yes." Peggy says, not even needing to even read the document to know exactly what it is.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't anyone tell me?" Tony asks, the hurt he is feeling perfectly clear in his voice.

"It is a long story. One that I should have told you a long time ago." Peggy says and both Steve and Tony can hear the regret in her voice.

"Yeah, you should have." Tony says, anger as well as pain now in his voice.

"I can tell you now if you would like to hear it." Peggy says and Tony nods. "Steve you might as well sit down. As I said, it's a long story." Peggy says and Steve does that. "What do you know about the relationship Howard, Steve, Bucky and I had during the war?" She asks Tony, all her attention on him.

"Steve said you were together. That you loved each other." Tony answers.

"That we did." Peggy says, a sad fondness to her voice, "After we lost Steve, Howard and I talked and we decided that we didn't want to try and be together without Steve and Bucky." Peggy reveals to both Steve and Tony's surprise. "We always balanced each other out." Peggy says, knowing that Steve will know exactly what she means by that. "So we thought it would be better if we weren't together, but honestly I think we thought it was easier." Peggy says, being cut off by a coughing fit.

"Here, Peggy." Steve says handing her a glass of water.

"Thank you." Peggy says after having a mouthful. "Where was I?"

"You and Dad decided not to be together after the war." Tony answers.

"Right, yes. We went our separate ways after that. I went to New York to work for the SSR and Howard... Howard went back to acting like he did before the war." Peggy says and at that Steve frowns as he knows exactly what that means. "We talked occasionally, but it was a year before we saw each other again." Peggy explains. "Howard had been charged with treason because his Bad Babies had been stolen and were being sold to the enemy. He came to me because I was the only one he trusted to help to find out who was selling them and get them back." Peggy explains.

"Bad Babies?" Steve and Tony both ask. Both of them are confused as they have never heard that phrase before.

"Things that Howard created that he didn't trust anyone to have. They were dangerous to catastrophic levels." Peggy explains.

"Why didn't he just destroy stuff like that?" Steve asks.

"Eventually he did." Peggy answers, "For weeks I worked with Edwin Jarvis to find Howard's inventions and who took them."

"That's when you guys grew close, I always wondered." Tony mutters to himself as he remembers Peggy and Jarvis always being close.

"During my searching Howard briefly came back and we had what I still consider to be one of the worst fights we ever had." Peggy admits, as even though she and Howard didn't always get along and they did fight she would still consider that to be one of their worse.

"What'd you fight about?" Steve asks curious. He knows that both Peggy and Howard had tempers, and that they usually had little fights, but for Peggy to describe it as being the worst fight ever then it must have been pretty bad.

"I was hiding Howard at my apartment, a place where no males were allowed, and he told me that the SSR had something that had the potential to wipe out all power in the tristate area. He asked if I would steal it back because he didn't want to be responsible for destroying the best city in the word." Peggy explains. "After talking to Jarvis on my way to the SSR I realised that there was something I didn't know. After stealing the device I opened it and inside was a vile of blood, your blood." She says looking at Steve who just looks surprised, "I will spare you the specifics of what was said, but let's just say it was less then pleasant and involved me punching Howard in the face. Our fight ended with me telling Howard that he was to be gone before I got back." Peggy informs Steve and Tony, "For the next few weeks I continued to try to clear Howard's name. I went to Russia, I got caught and charged with treason myself, and then Howard walked into the SSR and we realised exactly what was going on." Peggy reveals, taking another drink of water. "A man that I brought back from Russia by the name of Dr Fennhoff turned out to be the one behind everything. He was also highly skilled when it came to hypnosis and hated Howard for something that wasn't his fault." Peggy tells them. "We set a trap with Howard as the bait and it went sideways, Fennhoff got Howard." Peggy explains, both Steve and Tony noticing the faraway look in Peggy's eye like she is remembering something painful, but after a few seconds that looks is replaced by a dazed one.

"Peggy?" Steve asks concerned.

"Yes?"

"You were talking about Dad and Dr Fennhoff."

"I was? Right I was." Peggy realises, the dazed look disappearing slightly. "Dr Fennhoff wanted to make Howard pay so he used his skill on Howard. He had him convinced that by flying a plane full of a chemical weapon into Time Square on V.E Day, he was finding you and bringing you home." Peggy says looking to Steve, who isn't sure how to react to that.

"What happened?" Tony asks, wondering why Peggy has started with this story as it takes place over twenty years before he was born.

"Mr Jarvis went up in another plane, he was going to shoot Howard out of the air it if came to that; while I tried to talk him down." Peggy says, it is clear to Tony and Steve that even though this was almost seventy years ago it is painful for Peggy to talk about. "I begged him to turn the plane around, but he wouldn't. He thought he was doing the right thing. As more time passed I kept trying to get through to him, but I didn't manage to. Not until I was just about to tell Jarvis to take the shot and I heard Howard's voice; and it became clear that I had." Peggy explains.

"I'm sorry that you had to do that again." Steve says, knowing how hard it would have been for Peggy to do after what happened with him.

"Howard gave me and my friend Angie one of his apartments as after what happened I couldn't live where I had been living anymore. When we were looking at the resident Mr Jarvis gave me the vial of your blood; he told me that Howard believed it had been destroyed. I took it to the Brooklyn Bridge and poured it out." Peggy says, looking directly at Steve, worried about how he is going to react to that.

"You brought me home." Steve realises and Peggy nods, "Thank you."

"For two days I hadn't seen Howard and I was growing concerned so I went to where he was staying."

 

 

_May 10th 1946_

_Having walked into Howard's office at his house in New York Peggy found him standing behind the table._

" _I was just about to call you." Howard said putting down the phone._

" _Really?"_

" _Yep." Howard confirmed. "But that can wait. Why are you here?" Howard asked as he walked out from behind his desk and over to Peggy._

" _I wanted to check in, I haven't seen you in the last couple of days." Peggy said, having decided to leave out the part about being concerned. "Now, why were you going to call me?"_

" _Well, when I was in DC I did something I need to talk to you about." Howard said._

" _What did you do?" Peggy asked with a sigh, having known that he did something he shouldn't have because of the tone of voice he used._

" _Stole these." Howard said as he picked up two objects, which Peggy didn't notice before, off the desk. The second she saw the object Peggy knew exactly what they were and she was shocked._

" _Howard..." Peggy said shocked. "I thought you said they burned through all their samples." She said, there were two vials of blood sitting in the same kind of containers that the sample of blood she found was in._

" _I said they almost burned through all their samples." Howard corrected. "This was one of the last ones." He admitted. "And this, this isn't Steve's." He revealed as he picked up one of the vials. "Its Bucky's."_

" _Why would the government have Bucky's blood?" Peggy asked shocked as she understood them having Steve's blood; having Bucky's blood is what she didn't understand._

" _I don't know." Howard admitted. Up until he saw the sample he didn't know that the government had Bucky's blood; even then he had to run a test on a small sample of it himself to believe that it actually was his. "But if I had to guess I would say that they wanted to find out what affect Zola's experiments had on him." Howard said as it is what made the most sense. He didn't find anything odd with the sample in his quick test but that doesn't mean there wasn't, as the tests he ran weren't comprehensive enough._

" _I….What are you going to do with them?" Peggy asked, needing to know. She had said goodbye to what she'd thought was the last piece of Steve a day ago, and to Bucky well over a year before. To now see that there was a piece of them both left was shocking._

" _I still think I am right, that Steve's blood could save millions of people, and who knows Bucky's could too, but you were right too." Howard admitted, which surprised Peggy. "They've both been experimented on enough." He admitted, a sadness to his voice. "I believe that you would be the one that they want to have these." Howard said, surprising Peggy once more. "If I keep them they'll get stolen, taken back, or used to do something horrible, which would be the last thing they would want. Take them. Do what you think would be best. Do the same thing you did with the other vial or do something else. It should be your decision." Howard said as he handed the vials over._

" _It should be ours." Peggy corrected, honestly not surprised that she knew that Jarvis gave him the vial as even though he had gotten better Jarvis was a horrible liar. "But I will keep them safe until we decide what to do." She said as she took the vials off Howard._

_For several minutes both Howard and Peggy were quiet as they stared at the vials. As they stared both of them realised that they were the last pieces of the people who have always been so important to them._

" _Can you stay for a drink or do you have to get going?" Howard asked, having finally forced himself to look away from the vials and to Peggy._

" _I can stay."_

" _Good." Howard said as he headed over to the bar to pour them both drinks while Peggy, being as careful as possible, put the vials in her bag then she took of her jacket, before she walked over to the couch and sat down._

" _How are you doing Howard? After what happened?" Peggy asked curious as she hadn't had a chance to really ask how he was doing after what happened._

" _I'm fine, Peg." Howard said as he turned around and walked back over to her._

" _No, you're not." Peggy said as Howard sat down. "If you don't want to talk then don't, but I'm here if you do." She said as she accepted her drink from Howard._

" _I wouldn't know where to start." Howard said as he took a drink. "I screwed up Peg."_

" _You couldn't help what happened, Fennhoff is an expert at getting inside people's heads." Peggy informed Howard._

" _That's not what I meant." Howard revealed as he avoided looking Peggy in the eye._

" _Then what did you mean?"_

" _Everything I've done since we lost Steve." Howard said. "When I was up there, when you got through to me and I realised what Fennhoff had done, it was like I had a moment of clarity." He admitted. "I realised that everything I have been doing was because I had been hurting so much since we lost them; since you and I made the decision we made. I didn't want to hurt anymore. I regressed to who I was before we all met to avoid dealing with how much it hurt to lose them." Howard said as he turned to look at Peggy directly. "How much it hurt to lose you."_

" _You haven't lost me." Peggy told Howard._

" _I've lost what we used to have, we both have." Howard corrected. "I know that it was what we decided. That we thought it would be easier, but it's not, Peg. It's harder than I thought possible." He admitted as that's why he had been sleeping with so many people, as a way to try and forget what he has lost._

" _We can't go back Howard." Peggy said. "It was never just us, it was always the four of us." Peggy said, sadness in her voice. "We worked because we balanced each other out." She said. While their relationship was very unconventional it worked, it was great, but she wasn't sure that they would work without Steve and Bucky. "We both decided that we didn't want to try without them." Peggy reminded Howard. After they lost Bucky and Steve, Howard and she tried to make their relationship work and they did to a degree but Peggy wasn't sure they could without Bucky and Steve._

" _I know." Howard said, no longer sure that it is the right decision like he was at the time they made it. "But I think we should, I want to see if we can make this work with us." Howard said. "If you don't want to, if you're so sure that we can't, then we can forget that I've brought this up. We'll just be pals if that's what you want." Howard told Peggy._

" _I…..I need to think." Peggy said; while she wouldn't deny that she had thought about it she didn't think it had crossed Howard's mind once. "I need time."_

" _Take as much time as you need." Howard said, having felt that the fact that Peggy didn't come right out and say no may have been a good thing. "And I'm sorry Peg."_

" _What for?"_

" _For everything I've done in the last year." Howard said, "I…. I can think of a thousand ways I could have handled things better and I'm sorry that I didn't, and I'm sorry that you had to see it." He told her sure that both Steve and Bucky would have been furious with him if they knew how he has been acting for the last year._

" _You don't owe me an apology." Peggy told Howard, "We weren't together, you were free to act in any way you wanted to." She said, attempting to keep the emotion out of her voice so that she didn't admit how much the way Howard had been acting hurt; which was one of the reasons why she had to take time to think about giving them a try without Steve and Bucky._

" _But I do." Howard said, guilt in his voice. "I love you, Steve and Bucky, and all I've done, for over a year, is betray you and I'm not sure I can forgive myself for that." He admitted. Honestly he couldn't believe everything he had done. In a way the year before had been a blur. He mainly remembered hurting and wanting to do whatever he could to make the pain go away._

_Not sure what, if anything, she could have said Peggy reached out and grabbed Howard's hand. Both of them having known that what she was did she did out of friendship and nothing more._

 

 

"You're fight was over what to do with my blood?" Steve asks, slightly surprised as while he suspected that it is another thing for it to be confirmed, and Peggy nods.

"How long before you gave Dad an answer?" Tony asks, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"A week." Peggy answers.

 

_May 18th 1946_

_Over a week after her conversation with Howard about them trying to see if they can make things work with just the two of them, Peggy once more found herself walking into Howard's office. In the week since the conversation Peggy had been doing a lot of thinking and taking a lot of things into consideration. Even though they had seen each other several times in the week Howard hadn't once asked what her answer was, for which she was thankful._

_When she walked into Howard's office Peggy found him sitting at his desk with an expression on his face that she was all too familiar with. An expression that always meant he was working on something._

" _Howard." Peggy said, which caused Howard to look up. The second that he did Peggy realised that whatever it was that he was working on must have been big as Howard looked like he hadn't slept for days._

" _Peg, this is a surprise. It is, right? I didn't know you were coming." Howard said, having looked both glad and surprised to see her._

" _It is a surprise. What are you doing?" Peggy asked interested._

" _Working the trajectory of Steve's plane, seeing if I can get a better idea of where he might have crashed. Then I'm comparing what I find to the places I've already looked." Howard explained._

" _Any new ideas?" Peggy asked as even though she was sure that Howard would have called if he found something she couldn't help but ask._

" _No." Howard said as he put down his pencil. "But I'm not going to stop looking."_

" _I know." Peggy said. Even if the recent events didn't prove it Peggy knew that Howard felt too much guilt about what happened to Steve, he loved him too much to ever give up looking for him. Even though she felt that they had to move on, that they should have, she also agreed with what he was doing._

" _So, what can I do for you Peg? Have you eaten? I can get Jarvis to make sure that there is enough for you at dinner too." Howard said._

" _I haven't eaten, and that would be nice, but that's not why I am here." Peggy informed Howard._

" _Oh, why are you here?" Howard asked curious. He was hoping that she was there for the reason that he thought she was._

" _I've made my decision." Peggy said as she walked towards Howard, "Let's see if we can be us without them."_

 

 

"And that's exactly what we did." Peggy says, being pretty sure that Tony may not want to hear what happened next.

"So you and Howard were together since 1946?" Steve asks.

"Yes." Peggy says with a small smile, "For months no one but Jarvis knew. We were founding S.H.I.E.L.D so a lot of eyes were on us, which made it was rather difficult to keep what was going on a secret, but we managed." Peggy says, "It was late 194….. Seven I think, or was it forty eight?" Peggy asks, struggling as she tries to remember.

"It's okay Peggy, take your time." Steve says in a comforting tone of voice.

"Late 1947 I believe." Peggy says sounding uncertain, "We realised that we were working, really working, but we knew that if word got out it wouldn't end well." Peggy says, "We both had enemies, and we both knew that there were people who would use the fact that we were together against us, use it to hurt us; and that people who would use it as the excuse they were waiting for to destroy SHIELD, or even Stark Industries." Peggy explains. "We knew that us being publicly together wasn't an option, and so we came up with a plan."

"One that involved Daniel, Angie, Jack and …. Maria." Tony says, struggling to figure out what to call Maria.

"Yes, along with Mr Jarvis, Anna, my brother, Dum Dum and a few other of the commandoes were the only ones who knew." Peggy says, clearly speaking to both Tony and Steve but looking directly at Tony. "Daniel and Jack had been avoiding their feelings for each other for a while and Angie wasn't interested in men so we came up with a plan. Daniel and I would start a public relationship as it is what people expected, and Jack and Angie were seen in public enough to make people believe that they were together too." Peggy explains. "For a while Howard continued his public persona, but I always knew it wasn't really who he was. He was always faithful to me." Peggy says and Tony tries his best not to pull a face at that, "When Angie met Maria it was love at first sight for both of them, but because of the times they couldn't be together; so we made it seem like Howard and Maria started a relationship. The six of us never doubted what our real feelings were, and we always knew the reason why we were doing what we were doing. I think that's how we managed to do it." Peggy admits, thinking back, "In 1950, Howard and I began to talk about starting a family."

"1950? That was twenty years before I was born, why did you wait that long?" Tony asks confused.

"Howard and I never gave up the hope that we would find you." Peggy says, looking away from Tony for a second to look at Steve, "You, and Bucky were always in our hearts, and we wanted to have a child that was truly all of ours." Peggy says.

"No…" Tony says, in absolute shock, seeing where Peggy is going.

"Yes." Peggy says turning back to Tony, "For almost twenty years Howard worked to figure out a way. So many times we didn't think it would ever be possible, we almost gave up, but then Howard had a breakthrough." Peggy explains, "I still don't understand how he did it but Howard somehow managed to combine DNA that he got from Steve and Bucky's blood with his sperm and fertilized one of my frozen eggs. An embryo was grown, an embryo that was transplanted back into me and became you." Peggy says to Tony.

"I have three fathers?" Tony asks, looking completely shocked.

"Yes."

"WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?" Tony says angrily standing up.

"Tony…" Steve says as while he is just as shocked as Tony he doesn't think that yelling in a nursing home would be a good idea.

"No! I want to know, why the fuck did you decided that I didn't deserve to know? Why did you decide to lie to me for my entire life?" Tony asks angrily and he is also clearly hurt.

"To protect you." Peggy says, speaking calmly. "Howard, Mr Jarvis and I were the only ones who knew that truth about who you biological parents are. Anna, Maria, Daniel, Jack and others who knew about Howard and I thought you were just ours." Peggy admits, "If people knew the truth, or even the truth that those closes to us knew then we would be putting a target on your head. You would have never been safe and we didn't want that kind of life for you." Peggy says. "You were safer if people only knew you as Howard's son." Peggy says, it is clear to Steve that deciding that hurt Peggy more than he imagine. He is also sure that Tony would have realised the same thing he did if he wasn't so angry. "Two months after the embryo was implanted in me, once we knew the procedure was a success, Howard, Jarvis, Anna, Maria, Daniel, Jack, Angie and I went away. Everyone believed that we were on an assignment but in reality we went to a safe place for the duration of my pregnancy." Peggy explains, "You were two weeks early and when I finally held you in my arms after forty hours of labour, I didn't want to let you go." Peggy says tears coming to her eyes.

"Then why did you? Why did you lie?" Tony says sitting back down, trying to calm down, as even with how angry he is he doesn't like to see Peggy upset.

As Tony sits back down Steve assures the home's security that everything is okay.

"Because I wanted to give you your best chance; your best chance of a normal, safe childhood." Peggy explains'

 

_May 29th 1970_

_Having watched like a hawk while their son was cleaned and checked to make sure that he was completely okay, Howard walked over and placed him in Peggy's arms. Once his son was safe in his mother's arms Howard sat down next to them, and put his arm around Peggy._

" _He's amazing." Peggy said as she looked down at the baby in her arms._

" _Yeah, he is." Howard confirmed._

" _I can't believe he's really here." Peggy said, exhaustion and happiness both evident in her voice._

" _Believe it Peg, he's here." Howard said, "He's ours. All of ours." Howard said, sadness evident in his voice as he thought about the people who should have been there with them._

" _Yeah, he is." Peggy said with a small, sad smile. Just like Howard, Peggy felt overwhelming joy at the birth of their son but sadness when she thought about how Bucky and Steve weren't there to meet him._

_For a while both Howard and Peggy just sat together in silence as they stared at their newborn son. As they watched him both of them were amazed by everything they saw; but at the same time they were upset that Steve and Bucky weren't there with them._

" _He needs a name." Peggy said, which broke the silence._

" _Yeah, he does." Howard confirmed, "What are you thinking?"_

" _Anthony." Peggy said, "He's Anthony." She chose that as she remembered a cold winter night during the war where the four of them were talking and Howard said how much he didn't like his full name; and both Bucky and Steve said that they both really liked the name Anthony._

" _Anthony, huh?" Howard said as he looked down at his son. "It's perfect." He said with a smile, "What do you think of Edward being his middle name?"_

" _After your father?"_

" _And Jarvis."_

" _Anthony Edward." Peggy repeated to see what she thought of the name, "I love it." She said._

" _So do I." Howard said "I guess we should fill these out." Howard said as he picked up two pieces of paper from the bedside table. After he pulled over the pull table over Howard started to fill out the forms._

" _Howard, we can't put that, you know we can't." Peggy said, having noticed what he was writing._

" _I know. This isn't the public birth certificate, this is one just for us." Howard told Peggy, "He's ours, he's all of ours, and that should be acknowledged somewhere; even if no one can ever see it." Howard said as he continued to write._

" _Anthony Edward Rogers-Barnes-Carter-Stark." Peggy said, "I think it may be cruel to give him that many names."_

" _Maybe." Howard admitted, "But it's right."_

" _Yeah, it is." Peggy said as she stared at her son. As she looked at him she felt an overwhelming love and she realised that she wasn't sure whether she could do what she and Howard had to do. "I don't want to let him go." Peggy told Howard, "I don't think I can do what we decided to do." She admitted._

" _Then let's not." Howard said as honestly he wasn't sure if he could either. "Let's go, let's disappear; just the three of us. We can start over, be a family." Howard said. Honestly he would have always given up everything if it meant he, Peggy and their son could truly be together._

" _You mean walk away from everything?" Peggy asked as she looked between her son and Howard. As she did Peggy realised that she was tempted to do as Howard suggested._

" _Yeah, why not? We've been fighting for so long Peg, after the war we never stopped, so why don't we?" He asked. "Daniel and Jack and the others can continue SHIELD and protect people without us and you, me and Tony can disappear. We can be together and our son can grow up knowing that he has four parents, he can grow up never doubting how much we love him, and he can have a normal childhood." Howard said as even though he and Peggy spent years talking about how they would handle things once their child was born and what they would have to do to keep him safe the reality of him, seeing him and meeting him made what they had to do so much harder than Howard even thought it would be._

" _But he'll never be safe." Peggy said, "I want to disappear with you and our son Howard, I do. You have no idea how much I want that, but if we do we're going to put a target on Tony's head." She said as she looked down at their son. "If we disappear it won't be too long before the wrong people guess what happened, and if anyone finds out just whose son he really is then he will never be safe. He will always have people wanting to find him, to experiment on him, to do who knows what to him. I don't want him to have to live like that." Peggy said, pain evidence in her voice as she thought about what people would do to her innocent, amazing son if they knew the truth._

" _We can protect him." Howard said, not sure if he believed that himself. "We can go somewhere no one can find us."_

" _We can be found anywhere, nowhere is truly safe, you know that as well as I do." Peggy said as she looked down at Tony. As she watched her son Peggy felt her heart break as he knew that as much as she didn't want to do what she and Howard had agreed to they had to. It was the only way to keep Tony truly safe._

" _What makes you think he'll be any safer as just my son?" Howard asked, "He'll be in danger just because he's mine."_

" _He will, but he will be safer than if people knew he was mine too, than if people knew he was theirs." Peggy said, "I don't want to do this Howard, but it's what's best for him." She said as a tear rolled down her face._

" _What's best for him is knowing the truth about his parents." Howard said, having believed that. "But you're right too." He admitted, as he squeezed Peggy with the arm he had around her._

" _He'll know. We'll tell him one day, when he's old enough to truly understand why we've done what we've done." Peggy said._

" _Christmas the year he turns twenty one." Howard said as he remembered what they decided on. "That's so far away."_

" _That it is." Peggy confirmed having known without a doubt that the following twenty years were going to be impossibly hard, "But it will be an amazing Christmas and an amazing late Hanukkah." Peggy said as she had already looked up the dates to see when Hanukkah would be that year. She did that because she knew that even though Howard wasn't the most devout Jew it was still important to him._

" _Yeah it will." Howard said as he placed a kiss on Peggy's cheek. As they both looked down at their son they thought about everything that may happen; but neither allowed themselves to think about how, before too long, they were going to have to go back to DC. A world where no one could know that Tony is their son._

 

 

"If you always planned to tell me then why did I have to find out by finding my birth certificate?" Tony ask, the anger still in his voice but the pain clearer.

"Because Howard and Maria died a week before the date Howard and I agreed to. Your world imploded and I thought it would be too cruel to do that to you again so soon." Peggy explains.

"You said finally." Tony says, not exactly sure why he's thought of that now of all times.

"What?" Peggy asks confused.

"That morning, when I showed up at your door you said finally, why?" Tony asks.

"Because I was expecting Howard." Peggy tells Tony, a sadness to her voice. "He called me after midnight. He said that he found something incredible, something that I wouldn't believe. He said he and Maria were driving back to the city before flying back to DC. I was expecting him." Peggy explains and even through his anger and pain Tony can admit just how painful it must have been for Peggy to have found him drunk after hearing a knock at her door, rather than Howard, especially considering what he told her.

"Did you ever find out what Howard wanted to tell you?" Steve asks curious, wondering if it was something to do with Bucky or Hydra as it would explain what happened if it was.

"No." Peggy answers.

"Look, all of that makes sense, but it also only explains the following few months. It has been twenty four years since then. Why didn't you tell me? You had plenty of chances." Tony asks, wanting some straight answers.

"Because I saw what Howard and Maria's death did to you, how it destroyed you, and I didn't want to do that to you. I love you Tony and even if you didn't know, everything I've done since before you were born was to protect you, was to keep you from being hurt." Peggy tells Tony, Steve knowing without a doubt that what Peggy is saying is true.

"Yeah, well, you failed." Tony says standing up, "Because you've just hurt me more than anyone else, more than I've ever been hurt." Tony says before walking out of the room.

"TONY!" Peggy says trying to go after him, but being not able to.

"I'll talk to him." Steve says racing to Peggy to help her back into the bed. "He wouldn't be all of our son if he didn't have a temper."

"I'm sorry Steve, I didn't want to tell you if he didn't know." Peggy tells Steve.

"It's okay." Steve says as even though it does hurt to know that he has a son, as son that he has been working with for two years, he understands why Peggy decided against telling him. "I should go, catch up. I'll visit soon Peggy." Steve says placing a kiss on Peggy's cheek, and walking fast across the room.

"Steve." Peggy says stopping him before he reaches the door.

"Yeah."

"Tell him that I'm sorry for not telling him." Peggy says as while she doubts it will mean anything to him she needs him to know.

"I will." Steve promises before running out of the room, hoping that Tony hasn't already left.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

This is set during post Age of Ultron. Mild Spoilers.

 **AN1** : A HUGE THANK YOU to my Friend Emily who is editing this story and who is helping me figuring things out when I get stuck, So THANK YOU.

* * *

After leaving Peggy's room Steve runs; he honestly wouldn't be surprised if Tony has left without him. When he gets to the parking lot Steve is glad to find that Tony is only just arriving back at his car.

"TONY." Steve calls, causing him to look up.

"Don't start, Captain."

"Come back inside and talk to Peggy." Steve suggests, "She's sorry for not telling you."

"Yeah, well right now I don't give a crap." Tony says it's clear that he means everything he is saying. "I'm leaving. You can either come with me or find your own way back, I don't care which." Tony says as he gets in the car.

At Tony's words Steve quickly gets into the car. Even though he may be one of the last people that Tony wants to be around he still wants to help him and he can tell that Tony's not okay.

* * *

Five minutes into the twenty minute drive to the airport Steve knows without a doubt that Tony being behind the wheel of a motor car is a bad idea. He tried to suggest switching but Tony said nothing and drove faster; so Steve didn't ask again as he was too concerned about theirs, and everyone else's, safety.

When they arrive at the plane Tony heads straight to the bar and opens a bottle of scotch and starts to drink straight out of the bottle.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Steve asks as the staff on the jet closes the stairs.

"I think I don't care if it is or not." Tony says throwing himself down on of the chairs, his legs over the armrest.

"Tony…" Steve starts to say but Tony cuts him off.

"Whatever you want to say I don't want to hear it, not now. So you can save it, or preferably you can forget about it." Tony requests before sculling a large amount of the scotch.

"Tony, I know what you're feeling…" Steve says ignoring what Tony says; he knows that Tony is hurting, feeling betrayed and shocked.

"You don't know a thing about what I am feeling." Tony says, angrily as he stands up.

"Don't I?" Steve asks as he walks over to Tony. "I had something kept from me too Tony, and I think…"

"I don't give fuck what you think, Steve." Tony says angrily, "Come back to me when you find out your entire life has been a lie."

"Tony…."

"No. I don't want to talk, I don't won't to hear anything you have to say. So leave me the hell alone." Tony says turning around and walking to the room at the back of the plane slamming the door behind him.

"Captain Rogers, you need to take your seat, we're about to take off." One of the staff informs Steve.

"Oh, of course." Steve says walking over and sitting down in a seat which allows him to see the door to see the door that Tony went through.

Once he does up his seat belt Steve realises that if it would do any good him he would probably have a drink too; after all it isn't every day that you find out you have a son.

"Okay, maybe a drink would be a good idea." Steve mutters to himself. He certainly understands the appeal right now, but he also knows that it won't help even if it did have any effect on him.

As he sits and stares out the window Steve thinks about what this means. A part of him wants to be furious with Peggy for keeping this from him, but he can't bring himself to do that. Even though he wasn't around she and Howard gave him a family, they gave him a son, and that means everything to him. It was a shock, that's for sure, but at the same time it was a good one. He is pretty sure that Tony doesn't feel the same way though; but honestly he doesn't blame him. Even though they had very, very good reasons Peggy and Howard still lied to Tony for his entire life and that's not something that is easy to get over.

As his mind turns to Tony, Steve finds himself becoming more and more concerned about him. If the alcohol and the way he talked to himself and Peggy are any indication then Tony isn't doing too well; even though he wants to Steve has no idea how to help him, and he wishes he did.

* * *

As he walks into the other room, ignoring the fact that he just slammed a door like a teenager, Tony heads over to one of the chairs and throws himself down. Honestly, Tony would have liked to lay on the bed that is in the room but, because he knows that the pilot won't take off until there the instruments inform him that there are two passengers bucked in, Tony figured the chair will have to do.

"This isn't going to be enough." Tony says looking down at the half full bottle of scotch. "But it will do for now." He says as he drinks another large mouthful, hoping that the staff has filled the mini fridge in this room.

As he drinks Tony can't help but think about everything that has happened in the last day, even though he is drinking to try not to think about it, and he realises that he doesn't exactly know what he is feeling. He knows he is feeling furious at Howard and Peggy for keeping this secret from him. He is relieved to finally know the entire truth about why Maria wasn't around when he was growing up, to know that it wasn't his fault like he often suspected; and he doesn't even want to think about what the fact that he has three fathers, though he is very interested in running blood tests on himself to have a detailed look at what his DNA looks like, to see if there is anything different about him. When it comes to all the overwhelming feelings that he is feeling there is one thing that Tony knows without a doubt and that's that he is hurting; he is hurting so much that it is overshadowing everything else. But thankfully the alcohol helps with that; so he keeps drinking.

* * *

Fifty minutes after Steve and Tony walked into the plane in DC it lands in New York and a couple of minutes after that Tony stumbles out of the back room and into the main part of the plane.

"Car keys." Steve says walking over to Tony as soon as he stumbles into view.

"What?" Tony asks, as he walks, or more accurately stumbles, across the plane.

"You're in no shape to drive, keys." Steve says, sticking out his hand for the keys.

"I wasn't going to drive, I'm not an idiot." Tony says rolling his eyes as he hands the keys over. "And please, spare me the judgmental looks."

"I'm not judging you." Steve says as they head towards the exit, telling the truth as the look that Tony is seeing is a look of concern, not judgement.

"All you do is judge, Captain." Tony says as they start to walk down the stairs, Tony almost slipping as he does but he doesn't fall as Steve steadies him. "I don't need your help." He says as he walks down the rest of the stairs.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, I used to be an expert at doing this." Tony says as he stumbles to the car and gets in the passenger side of the car.

With a sigh Steve walks over and gets in the driver's side wondering if there is anything he can say that Tony won't take to mean something else.

* * *

After a silent twenty minute car ride Steve and Tony arrive back at Avengers Tower. Before Steve has even turned off the car Tony has gotten out and is on his way to his lab. Not sure if leaving Tony alone is a good idea considering everything, Steve follows.

"You can go. I don't need a baby sitter." Tony says as he walks to the bar and grabs several of the bottles of alcohol.

"That may be true." Steve says, "But considering everything, I think that it might not be a good idea for you to be alone." Steve says as they head towards the lab, Tony carrying the alcohol.

"Yeah, well, what makes you think that I give a crap what you think?" Tony asks as they enter the lab. "Because newsflash, I don't." Tony says turning around to face Steve as he puts the bottles he is carrying down.

"I'm worried about you, Tony."

"Like I said, I don't care." Tony says.

"Tony…."

"You're not listening to me, Captain. I don't care what you have to say or what you think." Tony says angrily, as Steve is a living reminder of the fact that he's been lied to his whole life. "I don't want you here. I don't want to talk to you. I don't even want to see you after everything I learnt today." Tony yells as he knows that he needs time to deal, in his own way, with everything and he's not going to be able to do that if Steve is there. "So I'm asking you to go, I'm asking you to leave me alone."

"Okay. I'll go." Steve says that even though he's concerned he knows that pushing Tony won't end well. "But if you want to talk, or if you change your mind, just call."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen." Tony says turning away from Steve.

As Tony turns around Steve opens his mouth, wanting to say something; but deciding against it he turns and walks out of the room.

Once he hears Steve leave Tony walks over to the medical equipment and gets a blood draw kit, deciding to take his blood now while he is still sober enough to do it without hurting himself.

* * *

As he leaves the lab Steve thinks about how much leaving Tony alone probably isn't a good idea; but he also knows that saying is a bad idea as well.

As he stands at the foot of the stairs Steve debates what to do, it takes him a couple of minutes but he comes up with an idea. He pulls out his phone and searches through his contacts for a number. Once he finally finds it he presses call and puts the phone to his ear.

"Potts." Pepper's voice answers after a few rings.

"Um, hi Pepper, It's Steve. Steve Rogers."

"Hi, can I help you with something Captain?" Pepper asks curious, surprised to hear from him. Even though they know each other she is positive that Steve has never called her before.

"I think so. I'm calling about Tony." Steve says.

"Has something happened?" Pepper asks concerned.

"Yes. Tony got some news today, some rather shocking news, and I don't think it would be a good idea if he was alone; but he's made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want me around." Steve explains.

"What kind of news did he get?" Pepper asks.

"I'm not sure if he would want me to say." Steve says as he figures that if Tony wants anyone to know then he will tell them.

"I'm already on my way back to the tower, I'll be there in about five minutes." Pepper tells Steve, wondering what kind of news Tony got that Steve could know, but not talk, about.

"Great, I'll see you when you get here." Steve says before hanging up.

Once he hangs up Steve looks up towards the lab where, because Tony hasn't darkened the windows, he sees him sitting at his computer with a bottle of some kind of alcohol right next to him.

After watching Tony for several minutes Steve heads towards the elevator so that he can be in the garage when Pepper arrives.

* * *

It's a few minutes after Steve arrives in the garage when Pepper drives in. As soon as he sees her car Steve walks over and arrives just as Pepper is getting out.

"Steve."

"Pepper. It's nice to see you, even considering the circumstances." Steve tells Pepper.

"You too. What is going on Steve?" Pepper asks, getting more concerned the more Steve says.

"Like I said, I called about Tony. He got some news today and he's not doing too well because of it. I want to help him but he doesn't want me to be here and I think it might be best that I listen." Steve explains.

"And you won't tell me the news he got?" Pepper asks.

"No, it's not my place." Steve says, "He's drunk a lot and, if the bottles he grabbed from the bar are any indication, he's not going to stop anytime soon. Like I said I don't think it would be a good idea if he was left alone." Steve explains.

"Is he in the lab?" Pepper asks and Steve nods, "I'll stay with him, or try to at least." Pepper says as she knows when Tony isn't doing too well he pushes people away, so there is a chance that he won't let her stay.

"Good, thanks Pepper. I'll come by tomorrow, see if he's doing any better." Steve says, "Do you mind if I borrow a car?"

"Not at all. Go right ahead." Pepper responds and Steve starts to walk over to one of the vehicles. "Steve, are you alright?" Pepper asks causing Steve to turn around.

"I don't know." Steve admits.

"Did you get shocking news too?" Pepper ask, walking over to him.

"Yeah, I did." Steve confirms, "I'll see you tomorrow, Pepper."

"See you tomorrow." Pepper responds as Steve gets into the car, as he does Pepper wonders what is this news that both Tony and Steve got is; if she had to guess she would say that it is the same news.

* * *

Once he has drawn his blood Tony starts to run the sample. Because he knows that it will take a little while Tony just leans back in his chair and continues to drink.

A few minutes after Steve left Tony hears his phone start to ring so he pulls it out of his pocket. When he notices the name on the caller ID he just throws his phone down on the table, really not wanting to answer it.

"JARVIS, can you bl…." Tony starts to say but then realises, "Right, you're not here anymore." Tony says, sadness to his voice.

Needing to do something with his hands Tony gets up and walks across to his work bench, carrying one of the bottles of alcohol with him. As he looks around his bench Tony just picks up random things and starts building, having no idea what he is trying to make.

"Tony." A voice says a few minutes after Tony started building and he looks up and sees Pepper.

"Pepper, hi." Tony says looking at her and Pepper realises that even though she can tell Tony isn't okay he looks glad to see her.

"Hi. Steve said you got some shocking news today, do you want to talk about it?" Pepper asks curious, growing even more concerned when she notices Tony tense at Steve's name and shocking news.

"What did he tell you?" Tony asks, his voice defensive.

"Just that you got some shocking news. He said it wasn't his place to say what, that he wasn't sure if you would want him to say." Pepper says walking towards Tony, "He seemed concerned." She admits and Tony snorts.

"I'll bet." Tony says taking a large mouthful of the drink he has next to him.

"What's going on, Tony?" Pepper asks as the last time she saw Tony drink like that was before the Battle of New York.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Tony…"

"Pep….Please." Tony says, his voice sounding desperate, "I really don't want to talk about it."

"Okay." Pepper says with a nod, "But I'm using my authorisation to put all your suits on lockdown." She tells Tony as she knows from experiencing that drunk Tony in one of his suits isn't a good combination.

"Sure, whatever you want." Tony says walking over to his computer to see if the breakdown off his blood has come up yet.

"Really?" Pepper asks surprised, her concern growing as the fact that Tony isn't protesting shows just how not okay he really is.

"Yep." Tony says as the land line phone starts to ring.

"Are you going to get that?"

"Nope." Tony responds and so Pepper walks over and answers it herself.

"Hello. Hey, Peggy. Yeah, he's right here." Pepper says sticking out the phone for Tony to grab. Tony takes the phone off Pepper, but instead of speaking to Peggy he presses the hang up button and throws the phone on the table. "Tony…" Pepper says shocked as she remembers one of the first things Tony told her when first she became his assistant; no matter what Peggy Carter's calls were to be put through. It didn't matter what he was doing. If Peggy Carter was calling he was to be interrupted and never once has she seen him not want to speak to Peggy.

"I don't want to talk about it." Tony says turning back to his computer and is annoyed to see that the breakdown isn't finished yet.

"What happened, Tony? What did you find out?" Pepper asks, clearly concerned about him.

"I don't want to talk about it." Tony says turning back around to look at Pepper, "Okay? I just don't. Why won't you, Peggy and Steve get that? I want to be left alone and I want to drink. The last thing I want to do is talk."

"Okay. If you don't want to talk, if you want to be left alone I'll go, but I'm going to send you up some food so that you have more than alcohol." Pepper informs Tony, knowing without a doubt that attempts to push him will be futile.

"Okay." Tony says and Pepper nods and leaves the room. Once Pepper leaves Tony drinks the rest of the bottle he is holding and walks back over to his work bench.

* * *

For his entire drive back to the Avengers facility Steve thinks about Tony and Peggy, Howard and Bucky. He can't help but think about what they should have had, and every time he thinks about that he thinks about Tony and how he is so far from okay and he grows more concerned. As he worries about Tony Steve also finds himself worrying about Bucky and wishing that he could find him and help him.

When Steve arrives back at the facility he heads straight inside where he finds Natasha, Sam, Rhodey and Maria waiting right by the door; clearly having been alerted as soon as he arrived back.

"Welcome back, you going to tell us where you and Tony went off to?" Natasha asks Steve curious.

"No." Steve says before turning to Rhodey, "You should go to the tower. Tony could use a friend right now." He says to Rhodey.

"Why? What happened?" Rhodey asks, the concern in his voice clear.

"I can't say, but you should go." Steve tells him, "I'm going to go find the drinks Thor left." He says to himself as he walks away.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Sam asks.

"No idea." Maria comments, looking at Natasha, hoping that she has a better idea.

"Don't look at me, for once I only know as much as you do." Natasha comments and that very thought worries her.

"Okay, I'm going to go. I'll see you later." Rhodey says.

"Let us know if you find out what's going on." Sam requests.

"I will." Rhodey assures him as he walks away.

"Should we go find Steve?" Maria asks.

"No. I think we should leave him alone." Natasha says as from Steve's body language she thinks that would be the best idea.

"I kind of agree." Sam says and Maria nods.

* * *

After leaving Natasha, Sam, Maria and Rhodey he heads to the supply room, remembering that Thor left some of the alcohol he had there. Steve has just entered the storage room when his phone starts to ring so he pulls it out of his pocket and answers.

"Rogers."

"Steve, it's Peggy." Peggy's voice responds, "Tony won't answer my calls. How is he doing?" she asks, Steve is able to hear the concern in her voice.

"Not well." Steve answers honestly, "We got back to Avengers Tower and he asked me to go. He said he didn't want to see me, didn't want to talk to me." Steve explains, "I didn't want to go, but I think it was for the best. I called Pepper and she arrived not long after that. She's with him now. I told Tony's best friend that he could use a friend so I hope he is on his way there too."

"I mucked everything up, didn't I?" Peggy asks.

"I don't know." Steve admits honestly, "He's hurting and confused, shocked, and that's understandable. Should you have told him sooner, probably, but I get why you didn't. I think he needs time." Steve says, "I'm going to try to talk to him again tomorrow, see if I have better luck."

"Steve, is that you?" Peggy's voice say and in that second Steve knows that Peggy thinks she is speaking to him for the first time since 1945.

"Yeah, Peg. It's me." Steve says closing his eyes.

"Where are you? How is this possible?"

"I'm in New York, but I'm going to come and see you really soon." Steve says, "I promise."

"Steve, oh, Steve. It's been so long."

"Yeah, Peggy, it has." Steve says, feeling a tear come to his eye. "I've got to go Peg. But I'll see you real soon."

"I'll hold you to that." Peggy responds.

"I know you will." Steve says, amused even though a tear is rolling down his face. "Bye Peg." He says before hanging up. After wiping the tears from his face Steve starts to search for the alcohol Thor brought and to his relief he easily finds it, "Just one glass." Steve tells himself as he grabs it off the shelf.

* * *

Well over two hours after Pepper left his lab Tony is sitting on his computer, finally looking at the breakdown of his blood.

"Huh, on first glance I look normal. Smart Dad." Tony mutters to himself as if he didn't know that there was something odd about him then he would see a normal sample of DNA and most likely stop looking. Before Tony can have a chance to haven a more expansive look there is a beep on the other screen so he rolls over in his chair, having given up on walking several drinks earlier, and looks. "All partial matches; they are my parents." Tony says seeing the results of the tests he ran comparing his DNA to Peggy, Howard, Steve and Bucky's. When he first decided to run a DNA test Tony was glad that he was able to find DNA samples from all of them in the S.H.I.E.L.D files that were released online. After comparing the results manually and reaching the same conclusion Tony deletes all evidence of the tests he ran and slides back over to his other monitor so that he can have a more detailed look at his blood sample.

"Tony?" Rhodey's voice asks as few minutes after Tony starts to look at his blood.

"I don't want to talk. If that's why you're here then you waisted a trip." Tony says not looking up from what he is doing.

"It's not. I was told that you could use a friend. That's why I'm here." Rhodey tells Tony.

"Let me guess. You were told that by holier than thou Captain Rogers?" Tony ask.

"I was." Rhodey confirms walking towards him.

"Well then you defiantly wasted a trip. I'm fine." Tony says.

"You sure about that? Because you don't seem like it." Rhodey notes.

"I said no talking." Tony says closing and encrypting everything he is doing before standing up and attempting to walk across the lab, but finding that rather difficult.

"Don't you think you've had more than enough of that?" Rhodey asks when he notices Tony pick up a full bottle of tequila.

"After the day I've had enough doesn't exist." Tony says, stumbling out of the lab and almost falling down the stairs.

As he watches his best friend go Rhodey feels overwhelming concern and, just like everyone else who has seen or spoken to Steve or Tony in the last few hours, Rhodey wonders what the hell happened to them.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

This is set during post Age of Ultron. Mild Spoilers.

 **AN1:** A HUGE THANK YOU to my Friend Emily who is editing this story and who is helping me figuring things out when I get stuck, So THANK YOU.

* * *

After sticking to his word and only having one glass of Thor's Alcohol Steve headed to bed. Once he was in his room Steve pulled the picture of him, Howard, Peggy, and Bucky out of his pocket, unfolded it and put it against the light on the bedside table so that he can see it. For a few minutes Steve just stared at the photo before lying down. Form the second he laid down Steve knew that he wasn't going to get any sleep so instead he just thought about everything that happened, everything he found out, and what it means.

After spending hours lying in bed and thinking, quiet often looking at the picture while he thought, Steve gets up earlier than he usually does to go for his run, deciding to run further and longer than usual.

After getting back to the facility's main building Steve heads down to the gym deciding to do some training. As he starts to hit the punching bag Steve wonders if it is too early to head into the city to see how Tony is doing.

"You want to talk about whatever it is that happened yesterday or are you going to keep hitting things?" Natasha's voice, about forty five minutes after Steve walked into the Gym.

"How long have you been there?" Steve asks not even surprised that he didn't realise.

"About ten minutes." Natasha says walking over to him, "You're avoiding the question. What's going on Steve?"

"That is a very long story." Steve responds.

"We've got plenty of time." Natasha comments as its true, they do, but before Steve can respond his phone starts to ring.

"Rogers."

"Steve, it's Pepper. Have you heard from Tony today?" Pepper's voice asks concerned.

"No, but right now I'm probably the last person he would call or go to see, why?" Steve asks.

"When Rhodey and I woke up this morning he was gone. He left anything that could be tracked behind. We know he took the car that can drive it's self but the tracker has been disabled. Seeing as how you know more about whatever it is that happened than anyone I was hoping that he called you." Pepper says and it's clear to Steve that she is worried which after the way Tony was acting the day before he doesn't blame her.

"He hasn't, but I'll let you know if he does." Steve says, doing his best to hide the worry in his voice though if the look Natasha is giving him is any indication he is failing.

"Thanks Steve."

"Can you let me know if you hear from him?" Steve asks.

"Of course."

"Thanks Pepper. Bye." Steve says before hanging up.

"What's going on?" Natasha asks as soon as Steve hangs up.

"Tony's gone." Steve says as he unwraps his hands.

"And Pepper called you?" Natasha asks surprised.

"Yeah. She thought I might have heard from him." Steve says as he starts to walk away.

"You're going to go try and find him." Natasha realises as she follows after him, it being a statement not a question, "Okay, what is going on? This is Stark we're talking about this wouldn't be the first time he disappeared without a word, granted it has been a while." Natasha admits, "but still, he's probably off somewhere drinking and having a good time. Why are you so worried?" Natasha asks as they walk out of the gym side by side.

"Because I am." Steve responds simply.

"You're really not going to give me more than that, are you?" Natasha asks, wondering what the hell could have happened to rattle Steve so much.

"Nope."

"Okay, fine, but how do you expect to find him?" Natasha asks, "I'm guessing Pepper and Rhodey are going to check his usual place."

"I've got a theory about where he is, that's how I'm going to find him." Steve says as he continues to walk down the corridor while Natasha stays in once place.

"And if you're wrong?" Natasha calls after him.

"Then I'll keep looking." Steve calls back.

As Steve walks down the corridor Natasha watches on with a frown. Needing to know what is going on Natasha pulls her phone out of her pocket, "Pepper, its Natasha. What do you know about what's going on with Steve and Tony?"

* * *

Because he wanted to go somewhere where people wouldn't think to look for him because he wanted to be alone; once he was sure that Pepper and Rhodey would be asleep Tony stumbled to his car that could drive itself, because no matter how drunk he was he still knew better than to drive, and set in the coordinates for his Dad's New York Mansion. He chose the Mansion because he figured that with everyone thinking he hated his Dad then no one will think to look him there.

After a twenty minute drive where Tony tries desperately not to throw up he arrive at the mansion and stumbles inside. Once he is inside Tony makes it as far as the couch in the main living room before he falls and passes out, breaking the bottle he was holding and cutting his hand in the process.

* * *

After leaving Natasha in the hall Steve headed to his room to collect a few things before leaving the facility. Once grabbed what he needed Steve headed down to the garage where he took the car he borrowed from the tower the night before and drove away; planning on heading to Howard's Mansion knowing exactly where it is because Howard told him more than once. As he drives Steve hopes that he is right and that that's where Tony has gone.

* * *

About an hour after he left the Avengers Facility Steve arrives at the mansion and where he is glad to see another car that he recognizes as belonging to Tony sitting in the driveway.

"Huh, just like he described it." Steve mutters to himself once he gets out the car as he looks around the property and remembers,

 

 

_December 1_ _st_ _1944_

_It was a freezing cold winter's night. Steve, Peggy, Bucky and Howard were out on a mission, a mission that Howard insisted he go on too because they were trying out some of his new equipment, when they were blindsided by a storm. Because the storm came in so suddenly they barely had enough time to get a tent up. Having no other way to keep warm, not that they minded, Steve, Peggy, Howard and Bucky zipped their sleeping bags together and huddled in close, while they waited for the storm to pass._

" _You own a dozen properties. What's so special about that mansion?" Bucky asked as for over ten minutes Howard had been talking about how much he wanted them to see his mansion in New York._

" _It was the first place I brought, the first expensive thing I ever brought, and I brought it for my parents." Howard said, sadness to his voice._

" _You did?" Peggy asked, surprised as they had all noticed that Howard didn't talk about his parents much._

" _Yeah." Howard said, "Growing up we didn't have much and I remember cold New York nights….."_

" _So slightly warmer than this?" Bucky asks Howard with a smirk._

" _Yeah. Slightly." Howard respond with a grin, "When my parents and I would huddle up in our one room place trying to stay warm and Ma would tell me how one day I was going to live in a castle, that that's what she wanted for me, and I would always tell her that I wanted that for her too." Howard says a tear coming to his eye, a tear that Steve wiped away but no one commented on, "She was soo happy when I gave her the keys. She planted a garden, full of every kind of rose imaginable and she furnished and decorated it herself. She made that mansion feel just as homely and warm as our apartment felt." Howard said, "Everywhere in that mansion I see my mother, and that's why I talk about it so much, why I want you three to see it; because it's the closest to you meeting her that we can get." Howard said, having surprised them by how open he was._

" _Then we will." Steve promised._

" _We have live through the night first." Bucky joked._

" _Oh please." Peggy said as she rolled her eyes, "Don't be so dramatic. This isn't that bad."_

" _True. We have been through worse." Howard commented._

" _Let's not go down that road." Steve suggested._

" _Well, what else are we going to do to past the time?" Bucky asked._

" _I have a few ideas." Howard said with a smirk._

 

 

That conversation was only one of many that they had about the mansion in the years that they were together. As Steve looks around he can't help but think about how much it would have meant to Howard for him to be there. For a few minutes Steve finds himself looking around and reminiscing before he finally heads towards the door. When he gets to the door Steve knocks but when he receives no answer after a few minutes Steve tries just opening the door and is glad when it opens.

"Tony?" Steve calls as he enters, closing the door behind him. When he gets no response Steve walks down the stairs and further into the foyer, "Tony?" Steve calls once more and once more he gets no response so he looks around. As he looks around Steve spots what looks like a pool of blood by the couch in what he guesses is the living room, "Tony." Steve calls terrified as he rushes over.

When he runs into the living room Steve fear is confirmed when he finds blood and broken glass, with Tony unconscious on his stomach on the couch. Not caring that he is stepping in glass Steve squats down so that he can check to see if Tony is okay and to his relief Tony is breathing and seems okay, "Where did this blood come from?" Steve asks looking for a source of the blood; which he finds to be large gashes with glass sticking out on Tony's hand. "That needs treatment." Steve realises as he looks closely at the gashes. "First aid kit, where would I find it _?"_ Steve wonders, becoming concerned that Tony hasn't woken up even though he has been talking,  _"Think Steve this was Howard's place. Howard had a place for everything, everything would always be in it's place in a certain way."_ Steve thinks to himself,  _"Where would the first aid kit's place be?"_ Steve asks himself. "Kitchen. Second draw from the stove on the right side." Steve realise, "But where would the kitchen be?" Steve asks before leaving the room, having one last look at Tony before he does.

It takes him a few minutes but Steve finally manages to find the kitchen, and when he does he goes to where he thinks the first aid kit will be and to his relief it is exactly where he suspected it would be. As he finds it Steve can't help but wonder how Howard could be so unpredictable in some ways but so predictable in others. Realising that he has something to do so that he can't really spend a lot of time pondering that question Steve checks to make sure that the first aid kit has what he needs before heading back to the living room and to Tony.

When he gets back to the living room Steve sits the medical kit back down on the coffee table and pulls out what he needs, being glad to see that all the supplies, including a bottle of aspirin, are in date. For a second he wonders how they are; but then he realises that someone must have kept toping it up and making sure that everything was in date even after Howard's death. Being pretty sure that Tony is going to wake up Steve uses a pair of tweezers to pull out the glass that is in Tony's hand, and when Tony doesn't even stir Steve once more checks to make sure that Tony is okay. After all the glass is out of Tony's hand Steve clears the wounds with alcohol, which doesn't even cause Tony to flinch but causes Steve to frown; then he wraps a bandages around Tony's hands. "How could you sleep through that?" Steve asks Tony but like he suspected he doesn't get a response.

After double checking to make sure that he wrapped Tony's hands properly Steve cleans up everything he used and puts everything back in the kit, pulling out the aspirin as he does. Once everything is cleaned up Steve heads back into the kitchen. In the kitchen Steve puts the first aid kit back where he found it, grabs a glass and fills a jug with water before heading back into the living room. Once he is in the living room Steve places the jug and cup on the coffee table next to the aspirin and sits down on the chair across from Tony.

* * *

For several hours Steve just sits and watches Tony, trying to decide what to say when Tony wakes up. As he thinks Steve realises that Tony is likely not going to be too happy to see him when he wakes so he prepares himself for that.

"Oh bloody hell." Steve hears Tony's voice say about four hours after he sat down across from Tony.

"There is water and aspirin on the table." Steve informs Tony.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Tony asks as he sits up, clearly in pain, "And what happened to my hands?"

"I'm here because I was worried about you and I don't know what happened to your hands. I found you bleeding with glass in your hands." Steve explains as Tony grabs the judge and pours a cup of water for himself.

"How'd you find me?" Tony asks as he opens the aspirin and takes two of the pills.

"Pepper called me. She said you disappeared and I figured that after yesterday you probably wanted to go somewhere where no one would find you." Steve explains, "Considering everything thinks you hate your father I thought here would be a good place to start to look."

"How you even find this place?" Tony asks, being pretty sure that if he wasn't as hung over as he Is he would know the answer.

"Howard talked about this place a lot. Told me exactly where it is." Steve explains, being glad that he and Tony seems to be having what could be described as a pleasant conversation.

"Right, well you can go." Tony says sculling his cup of water and pouring another one.

"Tony…." Steve starts to say but Tony cuts him off.

"Look Steve, I appreciate you treating my hands and whatever else you did; but this, you and me talking or even being in the same room together I can't handle, not today. Not when I am this hungover, so can you go, please?" Tony requests and it is the fact that Tony is speaking calmly that Steve can hear the desperation in his voice that gets to him.

"When I was in the kitchen I noticed that there was no food; so how about I go get you enough food to tide you over before heading back upstate?" Steve asks, wanting to do something.

"I'd be okay with that." Tony responds.

"Good. I'll be back soon." Steve says getting up and heading to the door, "Oh, you should call Pepper. She's pretty worried." He says.

"I'll keep that in mind." Tony responds and Steve nods and leaves.

Once Steve leaves Tony spends several minutes sitting on the edge of the couch waiting for the room to stop spinning enough for him to stand. Once it does Tony gets up and walks over to the phone and dials Pepper's number.

"Potts." Pepper answers after a few rings.

"Hey, Pep."

"Tony. Where are you?" Pepper asks, clearly worried.

"I would rather not say." Tony admits, "But, I'm okay….kind of." Tony responds.

"Kind of?"

"Trust me Pep. With everything that has happened that is pretty good." Tony responds.

"What is going on Tony? What happened yesterday?" Pepper asks.

"I don't want to talk about it, I can't talk about it." Tony responds.

"Why not?" Pepper asks.

"Because what I learnt changes everything, everything I knew, everything I thought I was, and I'm not ready to face that." Tony tells Pepper.

"Where are you?" Pepper asks once more, becoming more concerned the more Tony says.

"The one place I feel like being." Tony says. Considering everything he has learnt Tony isn't sure why he likes being at the mansion all he knows is it's the only place he wants to be.

"When are you coming home?" Pepper asks.

"I don't know." Tony responds honestly, "When I'm ready, I guess."

"Any idea when that will be?" Pepper asks as she wonders, not for the first time, what could shake Tony up so much.

"No. For now I need to be here, need to be alone." Tony responds.

"Okay. If that changes call me, anytime." Pepper responds wondering if there is anything he could do.

"I will. Bye Pep."

"Bye Tony." Pepper responds before hanging up the phone.

Once he hangs up with Pepper Tony heads towards his father's office. Once he arrives at his father's office a couple of minutes later Tony heads straight to the bookshelf where he once more uses the keypad to reveal the alcove so that he can get to the albums. Being pretty sure that it is due to how hungover he is, Tony finds it even more difficult to squeeze into the alcove to collect the albums, than he did the day before. One he has the albums Tony walks back out of the alcove, drops the albums on the desk, and sits at the table. After spending a few seconds collecting himself Tony pulls the first album towards him wanting to have a better look now that he knows everything.

* * *

Tony has been sitting in his father's office for close to an hour when he hears the door open.

"There you are. Howard really wasn't kidding when he said this place is big." Steve comments as he walks into the office and over Tony. Even though he heard what Steve said Tony doesn't even look up or acknowledge him, "So I left the food in…" Steve start to say but he trails of when he notices what Tony is looking at, "He really did keep them." Steve says an awe to his voice as even though Tony mentioned hand drawn pictures yesterday it is another thing for Steve to see them for himself.

"Are you talking about the drawings?" Tony asks, actually looking up at Steve because even though he doesn't want to be he is quiet curious.

"Yeah. I drew them." Steve answers, not being able to tear his eyes away from the two drawings that Tony is looking at. One of which is Howard and Peggy in arguing and the other is Bucky, Peggy and Howard playing poker together.

"You, draw these?" Tony asks surprised as he didn't know that Steve could draw.

"Yeah, I was in art school before the war." Steve explains.

"Huh." Tony responds and they drift into uncomfortable silence.

"Weren't you leaving?" Tony asks about five minutes later when neither of them have said anything.

"I was." Steve confirms, "Um, so I'll come by tomorrow."

"I'd rather you didn't." Tony says a he turns the page of what he is looking at and doesn't look up at Steve.

"Tony…" Steve starts to say which causes Tony to look up and actually look at him.

"Look I know you want to help or whatever, but the best way you can help is to go and not come back." Tony says, "I know we should talk at some point, that's a given, but that times not now." Tony says, "I need time and space; so can you go and when I'm ready for that talk I'll call." Tony tells Steve.

"Sure, I'll go." Steve says, not wanting to but realising that its for the best, "But um, you should change the bandages on your hands twice a day." Steve says and Tony rolls his eyes, not just because of Steve's comment but because of the fact that he heals pretty fast so his hands will be completely fine within a couple of days, "And maybe think about calling Peggy, or at least stop rejecting her calls."

"I'll think about it." Tony responds, not even surprised that Steve knows he was rejecting Peggy's calls.

"Good. When you're ready to just call, doesn't matter when." Steve says.

"Bye Captain." Tony says, it being clear that he is done with the conversation.

"Bye Tony." Steve says before turning and leaving. As he walks out of the room Steve wonders if he is making the right choice, and how long it will be before he and Tony really talk.

* * *

Back at the Avengers Facility Rhodey, Sam, Natasha, and Maria are sitting around talking about the little they know.

"So Pepper's heard from him?" Maria asks.

"Yeah, but he didn't say where he was or what is going on." Rhodey answers as once Tony called Pepper he made his way back to the Avengers Facility and has been talking to the others ever since. Vision, Wanda and Fury where with them but they had to go and do some work, just leaving the four of them.

"So as far as we know Steve is the only one who knows anything?" Maria asks.

"It seems like it." Natasha answers.

"What is going on with them?" Rhodey asks wondering if the others have any ideas because he knows that he doesn't.

"Who knows?" Maria comments.

"Maybe they hooked up." Sam joked and everything turns to look at him, "What? It's a valid suggestion."

"Nope it's not. Pepper and Tony are back on again." Rhodey informs him.

"Oh, I take it back then." Sam comments as even he knows that despite Tony's reputation he is faithful to Pepper, "You're quiet, have you got any ideas?" Sam ask Natasha.

"None that I want to share just yet." Natasha comments and the four of them drift into silence. All of them wondering what is going on and whether Steve and Tony are okay.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

This is set during post Age of Ultron. Mild Spoilers.

 **AN1:** A HUGE THANK YOU to my Friend Emily who is editing this story and who is helping me figuring things out when I get stuck, So THANK YOU.

* * *

It has been three days since Steve found Tony at passed out at Howard's Mansion bleeding and in that time Steve has done what Tony asked and hasn't called or gone to visit even though he has wanted to. Steve has been talking to Pepper so he knows that Tony hasn't gone back to the tower though he has called Pepper a couple of times; though judging by the fact that Pepper said Peggy has been calling Tony didn't take his advice about calling her.

Ever since he returned to the Avengers Facility after seeing Tony Steve has been spending a lot of time by himself to avoid the questions he will get from the others. It is about lunchtime and Steve is down in the gym, the place where he has been spending most of his time in the past few days, training.

"How many bags have you broken?" A voice asks and Steve turns to see Sam.

"Six." Steve answers.

"Not bad; and are you still determine to break stuff instead of talking?" Sam asks curious.

"Yep." Steve responds as until and Tony have really had a chance to talk then he doesn't think he should tell anyone.

"Well how would you feel about fixing something?" Sam asks and Steve turns around and faces him.

"What do you mean?" Steve ask.

"I found a hot lead on our cold case." Sam informs Steve.

"I'm listening."

"He's been sighted in Vancouver a few times for the last few weeks." Sam reveals, "I don't know why he's there or what he is doing but I know that he is." Sam explains.

"Okay. We'll leave in three hours." Steve says, wanting to go find Bucky but knowing that there is something that he has to do first.

"Three hours? I thought we would leave in three minutes." Sam comments truthfully.

"There's something I need to do first." Steve says as he leaves the gym, leaving a confused Sam.

* * *

After spending an hour driving to the mansion and fifteen minutes searching it Steve finally finds Tony in the garage working on what Steve knows to be one of Howard's Cadillacs. Not sure what to say because he is pretty sure that Tony won't be happy to see him Steve just spends several minutes watching Tony while he works.

"Is this you staying away?" Tony asks not looking up at from what he is doing, "Because if it is you suck at it."

"I know." Steve says walking over to Tony, "There's something I need to do and I need to go out of town to do it, but I thought you should know."

"Well you thought wrong." Tony says turning around and walking to the tool bench, "I don't need to know anything about what you do."

"Maybe should was the wrong choice word. Considering why I am going you deserve to know" Steve says.

"Huh, I'm actually being told something I deserve to know, guess there is a first time for everything." Tony comments, "What is it?" Tony asks Steve, looking at him.

"I'm going to Vancouver because ever since SHIELD fell I have been trying to find Bucky." Steve explains as even though he has been keeping Bucky between him, Sam and Natasha he figures that as Bucky is one of Tony's biological fathers he shouldn't keep him being alive from Tony. Especially not after all the other secrets that have been kept from him.

"I thought Bucky died months before you went into the ice." Tony comments as that is what he remembers being told.

"That's what I thought, that's what we all thought." Steve says, it being clear to Tony who we means, "He was experimented on by Zola, whatever he did allowed Bucky to survive." Steve explains, "He was found by Hydra, he had lost an arm so they replaced it with a metal, cybernetic one." Steve says, taking a few seconds to prepare himself for what he has to say next, "Hydra brainwashed him, they took away everything he was, and they turned him into what they called The Winter Solider. When I saw him he had no idea who I was." Steve explains, pain in his voice as it is hard for him to talk about.

"I'm sorry, Steve." Tony says as he heard enough growing up, has seen enough of the pictures in the album to know how much that must hurt Steve.

"I…thanks." Steve says, not sure what else to say, "Hydra turned Bucky into their assassin, he killed for them, having no choice in the matter." Steve explains and takes a deep breath. During the car ride to the mansion Steve seriously considered not telling Tony the next part; but he decided to as he realised that there is a big chance that Tony could find out in the future and he should hear it from him, "I'm not one hundred percent certain, but I believe that one of the things Hydra forced Bucky to do as the Winter Solider is kill Howard and Maria." Steve tells Tony. At Steve's words Tony gets a completely blank look on his face, and honestly Steve thinks it might be worse than if he was showing fury or pain or shock, "Tony?" he asked concerned.

"Are you telling me that James Barnes, Bucky Barnes, someone I've been hearing about my whole life; who happens to be biologically my father and one of the loves of the my Dad's life may have killed Dad and Maria?" Tony asks, his voice completely calm which makes it sound completely unlike Tony, which is worrying.

"I'm saying that there is a chance, but if he did then it wans't his choice. He wasn't in control. He never would have hurt Howard or Maria, or anyone especially not someone he loved, if he was in control." Steve says, wanting Tony to understand that, "I believe in Bucky and I know that he wouldn't have hurt them, hurt anyone, if he wasn't forced to."

"You should have told me this months ago." Tony says, his voice starting to lose the calm.

"Months ago all I cared about is helping Bucky, I didn't see the point in telling you something that might not be true; but now I know that you deserve to know. Even if I'm wrong." Steve tells Tony.

"Get out."

"Tony…" Steve starts to say.

"GET OUT!" Tony yells.

"Tony, let's talk about this." Steve says calmly walking towards him.

"GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT." Tony says reaching out and grabbing the closes thing to him, which turns out to be a spanner, and throwing it at Steve, which thanks to his fast reflexes Steve manages to dodge.

"I'm sorry Tony. If you need anything I'm just a call away." Steve says before walking away feeling like he just destroyed everything.

As soon as Steve leaves Tony loses it and starts to trash the entire garage before sliding down the wall and starting to cry. Crying about all the secrets that have been kept form him, all the pain he is feeling and because of the knowledge that his Dad and Step-Mother may have been killed by his father.

* * *

For his entire drive from the mansion back to the Avengers Facility Steve is tempted to turn back around and go back to Tony, but every time he almost does Steve remembers the look that was on Tony's face and realises that it wouldn't be a good idea.

When he gets back to the facility Steve doesn't head straight to where he will find Sam but instead he goes in search of Natasha as there is something that he only trusts her to do.

To Steve's relief Natasha isn't too hard to find as Steve finds her in one of the living areas with Maria and Wanda.

"Natasha, can I talk to you?" Steve asks from the doorway in the room.

"Sure." Natasha says as with one look at him she is pretty sure that Steve is finally going to tell her what the hell has been going on with him.

"He's worried." Wanda notes once Steve and Natasha have walked out of the room.

"What do you mean?" Maria asks curious, "What's he worried about?" Maria asks wondering if she is finally going to find out what the hell is going on.

"I shouldn't say." Wanda admits, "But he's worried. He thinks he's hurt someone he cares about and is worried that he will never be able to make things right."

"Will he?"

"I don't know." Wanda admits, "But I know that he isn't going to give up."

"You can't tell me more than that?" Maria asks interested.

"I could, but I shouldn't." Wanda admits as it honestly isn't her place to say anymore. In her time at the Avengers Facility Wanda has been trying not to reveal the things that her powers tell her out of respect to the people around her.

"Right." Maria says, wondering what's going on for what feels like the thousandth time in the past few days.

* * *

After they leave the lounge room where Maria and Wanda are Steve and Natasha head to two doors down where there is an empty room.

"So, you finally decided to tell me what the hell is going on with you." Natasha says as Steve closes the door.

"I have, but I was also wondering if you could do something for me." Steve requests.

"I'm listening."

"While I'm gone looking for Bucky I was wondering if you would check in on Tony, keep an eye on him." Steve requests.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Natasha asks getting frustrated, "I want real answers, Rogers."

"He's my son." Steve says, saying the words out loud for the first time, "Tony, is my son." Steve says and as he says it he realises how amazing it feels to admit that.

"Okay, I wasn't expecting that." Natasha says, sounding surprised which is something Steve never though he would see, "Do you want to explain how that's possible?" Natasha ask as she sits down on the edge of the couch that is in the room.

"Howard, Peggy, Bucky and I were together during the war. We loved each other." Steve explains, a fondness to his voice that tells Natasha that they mean a lot to him, "Four days ago Tony found secret albums that belonged to Howard, inside one of them he found his birth certificate where his name was down as Anthony Edward Rogers-Barnes-Carter-Stark, his mother was down as Peggy and Bucky, Howard and I were all down as his fathers." Steve explains, "Tony came here hoping that I had an explanation for him, but that was the first I heard about it, so we decided to go see Peggy. Peggy told us that after the war she and Howard got together, not a lot of people knew, and Tony wasn't one of them. From what Peggy said both their marriages weren't real but were covers to protect not just them but other people." Steve explains.

"So when they had Tony Peggy and Howard decided to put you and Barnes down as fathers because of the relationship you shared during the war." Natasha assumes.

"Not exactly." Steve answers, "Peggy said that when they decided to have a child in 1950 she and Howard wanted to have a child that was theirs as well as mine and Bucky's. Howard spent almost twenty years figuring out a way to achieve that; and was finally able to by combining DNA he extracted from blood samples of mine and Bucky's with samples from him and Peggy." Steve explains.

"So Tony's biologically the child of four people?" Natasha asks.

"Yeah."

"Huh, explains a lot." Natasha comments and Steve just gives her an annoyed look, "What it does." She responds, "So I'm guessing he's not handling it too well." Natasha comments.

"No. As it turns out Howard was a better father than Tony lead people to believe and Peggy was more of a mother to him than Maria Stark so finding out that they lied to him his whole life was a pretty crushing blow." Steve explains, "He's been doing a lot of drinking, he's shut himself away, won't talk, which I honestly don't blame him for and I think I may have made things worse today." Steve admits.

"What did you do?"

"I went over to where he is today to tell him that I was going to look for Bucky. I told him that there is a chance that Bucky could have killed Howard and Maria under Hydra's orders." Steve explains, pain in his voice.

"Please tell me you weren't that stupid." Natasha requests though she wouldn't be surprised if he was.

"I thought that it was better he hear it now, from me, rather than from someone else in the future." Steve explains.

"That's noble Steve, but from what you've said his whole word has blown up, has turned on his head and you just threw more fuel on the fire." Natasha explains, "You just told him that not only was he lied to his whole life, not only are his parents not who he thought they were, but one of his fathers may have killed another one and his step mother, that a lot for one person to deal with."

"I guess that explains the spanner he threw at me." Steve comments.

"Yeah, it would." Natasha says, not even surprised, "You need better timing."

"I know." Steve responds, "What should I do?"

"Go see if you can find Barnes." Natasha tells him, "If you go and see Tony right now you'll get something else thrown at you."

"I was just trying to do the right thing." Steve explains a sadness to his voice.

"I know." Natasha says with a comforting smile.

"I thought that after all the lies he deserve the truth." Steve says.

"And he does, but there is a right time for the truth and that time wasn't now, not after everything else." Natasha tells him, "I'll keep an eye on him while you're gone, check up on him." Natasha says as she has spent enough time with Tony to know he is likely on the path to a complete breakdown.

"I don't know if he will react well to seeing you." Steve admits.

"That's why he won't, see me." Natasha informs Steve, "But if I'm going to check up on him then I need to know where he is." She tells Steve.

"He's at Howard Stark's New York Mansion, or at least that's where he was an hour ago." Steve explains.

"And Pepper and Rhodey didn't think to look for him there?" Natasha asks wondering why they didn't think to look there when it's pretty obvious.

"Everyone, even them, think Tony hated Howard, that he was terrible to Tony. It makes sense that they wouldn't have thought to look there. The only reason I did is because I knew the truth." Steve responds.

"Yeah, I guess, still obvious though." Natasha responds.

"Do you need the address?"

"Nah, I know it." Natasha says and honestly Steve isn't surprised.

"Okay, thank you, Natasha." Steve says, feeling grateful.

"You're welcome, Rogers." Natasha responds, "Now go, I'm pretty sure that Sam is already ready to go." She says.

"Right, see you later." Steve says before leaving.

As she watches Steve go Natasha thinks about everything Steve just told her and how a lot of things about Tony just made a lot more sense.

* * *

"I need to get out of here." Tony says to himself, about twenty minutes after the he trashed the garage. Even though he knows that he could take one of his father's Cadillacs Tony would really prefer to drive his own car so he gets up and heads back up to his father's office as he knows that is where he left his car keys.

"Keys, keys, keys." Tony says searching his father's desk, trying to find them, "There they are." Tony says seeing his keys under one of the albums that is open on his desk. As he picks up his keys Tony can't help but actually look at the page that his keys were under which causes him to look at all the open albums on the desk. One of the albums is open to a page of Howard, Steve, Bucky and Peggy, all together and happy. The second album is open to the picture of Howard and Peggy during her pregnancy where they are both glaring at the camera, and the third album is open to a picture that he insisted be taken. A picture of him, Peggy and Howard on the day he graduated MIT. As he looks the pictures Tony finds himself smiling for a few seconds, but his smile quickly turns into a frown, "Lies, all lies." Tony says, both anger and pain to his voice, as he pushes everything, including the framed photo, off the desk and onto the ground. Without a single look back at the mess he has made Tony just walks across the room and out of the room.

* * *

"So, are you really not going to speak?" Sam ask Steve half an hour into their trip to Vancouver because for the whole time they have been flying Steve has been silent.

"Um, sorry, what did you say?" Steve asks as he knew Sam spoke but he wasn't sure what he said.

"I asked if you're going to be Mr Silent Man the whole flight because if so I'm going to put on music." Sam comment.

"Put music on, I've got a lot on my mind." Steve responds.

"I know I've asked before, but I'm going to ask again anyway. Anything you want to talk about?" Sam asks.

"Yes, there is a lot." Steve admits, "But you're not the one I want to talk to."

"That's cool, I get it." Sam responds, pretty sure he knows exactly who Steve wants to talk to after the last few days, "But if you change your mind, I'm here."

"I know." Steve responds, and they both drift into silence.

* * *

Twenty minutes after Tony left the mansion he arrives back at Avengers Tower. Even though Tony isn't sure if he is ready to be around people again he doesn't want to stay at the mansion any more, plus he wants to start building something and the supplies he needs are in his home lab.

When he exits the elevator on the main living room Tony sees Pepper sitting on the couch on her laptop. Knowing that he doesn't have much of a chance of succeeding but wanting to try anyway Tony sneaks to the bar and grabs a bottle of tequila, a bottle of scotch and bottle of vodka before attempting to get up to the lab unseen.

"Tony." Pepper says both surprised and glad to see him.

"Hi." Tony responds as he heads towards the stairs.

"Are you really back?" Pepper asks, moving her laptop as she gets up.

"For now." Tony responds as he walks up the stairs and Pepper races across the room.

"Okay, enough, what is going on with you?" Pepper asks as she follows Tony up the stairs.

"I don't want to talk about it." Tony says as they walk into the lab.

"No. That's not enough, not now." Pepper tells Tony, who just opens the tequila and starts to drink "You've been gone for days, you're drinking again, you didn't care when I put your suits on lockdown, and by the look of you haven't showed since you've been gone. So I'm asking again what the hell is going on Tony." Pepper asks, it being clear that she wants an answer.

"Agh." Tony says as his throat burns from the amount of tequila he just swallowed, "I don't want to talk about it."

"You may not want to, but your actions say that you need to." Pepper says she knows Tony better than anyone (except Peggy and Rhodey), and she knows when he gets like this it is because he needs to talk about something that's bothering him, or do something.

"No, I don't need to talk, I don't want to talk." Tony says as he starts to turn equipment on, "So if that's what you want you might as well go."

"No." Pepper says walking over to Tony, "You're hurting Tony and I want to help; so talk to me, please."

"No." Tony says turning away.

"Tony please." Pepper says placing her hand on his shoulder, "Talk to me."

"No." Tony says moving away from Pepper and walking across the room.

"Tony, whatever it is, whatever you found out, you can't run from it. You're going to have to face it eventually so why not now?" Pepper asks.

"Because I CAN'T!" Tony yells angrily, "Peggy is my mother! My Dad's marriage, her marriage were both fake, they were together, for decades." Tony says to Pepper's shock, "But that's not all, because of course that isn't enough shocking news to get in one day, no I also I had to find out that not only do I have one father, but I have three!" Tony says, finding that now that he has started he isn't sure he can stop.

"Tony…." Pepper starts to say but Tony cuts her of.

"No you wanted to know what is going on so here is the truth, the messed up truth." Tony says, "Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes and Howard Stark are all my biological fathers thanks to Howard's genius. Then today my dear Dad number two decided to tell me that Daddy dearest number three may have killed Dad number one and the woman I thought was my mother for my entire life!" Tony says with a bitter laugh, "So yes, I'm drinking because it's the only way I can deal with the all that fucked up shit."

"Tony…." Pepper says starting to walk towards Tony.

"Can you just go?" Tony request.

"No."

"Please Pep, please, can you just go." Tony requests and it's only the desperation in his voice that causes Pepper to listen.

"Okay. I'll be downstairs if you need anything." Pepper says, being pretty sure that she may regret it, and Tony nods.

Once Pepper walks out of the room Tony sculls the rest of the bottle of tequila before turning his attention to his work bench.

* * *

Even though the normal flight from New York to Vancouver would take over five hours thanks to the Quinjet that they are using it only takes Steve and Sam about three.

"So what's the plan?" Sam asks

"We try and figure out if there is a pattern to the Bucky sightings." Steve says as he knows that it's a long shot but it's the only idea he has.

"Sure, I've got the list here." Sam says pulling out a piece of paper while Steve pulls a map.

* * *

A little over an hour after Tony arrived at the tower the elevator opens once more and this time Rhodey and Natasha out.

"So, he came back?" Rhodey ask.

"Yeah." Pepper says as she walks over to them.

"He told you everything." Natasha realises, being able to tell by the look on Pepper's face.

"Wait, you know?" Pepper asks surprised.

"Steve told me before he left. He asked me to keep an eye on Tony." Natasha explains.

"I think that might be a bigger job than even Steve could have imagined." Pepper comments as the reason she called Rhodey, and why she was glad when Natasha said she was coming too, is because she is truly worried about Tony.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Rhodey asks.

"It's a long story." Natasha says

"And not either of our places to say." Pepper adds.

"If I'm going to be able to help Tony then I'm going to need more than that." Rhodey says, but before any of them can say anymore there is blinding almost electric light filling Tony's lab.

"Tony…" Pepper says horrified as she, Natasha and Rhodey race to the lab.

When the three of them get up to Tony's lab, the light is gone and the whole thing is completely trashed, but there is no sign of Tony.

"Where'd he go?" Rhodey asks looking around.

"No idea, but this isn't good." Natasha says saying what they are all thinking, "Call Maria, get the other's here, I've got to call Steve." She says not sure how she is going to tell Steve that his son is gone.

"Will one of you please tell me what the story is with Steve and Tony?" Rhodey asks annoyed.

"I will once I call the others." Peppers says, trying to keep the worry out of her voice.

* * *

"So looks like all the sightings have been in this area." Sam says to Steve about fifteen minutes after they started to put all the locations on the map.

"Looks like it. Guess we should start there." Steve says but before Sam can respond Steve's phone starts to ring, "Rogers."

"Steve, something's happened." Natasha's voice says without even saying hello, "You need to get back to New York, back to the tower as soon as possible."

"Why, what's happened?" Steve asks, not being able to help the overwhelming dreed he is feeling.

"It's Tony."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

This is set during post Age of Ultron. Mild Spoilers.

 **AN1:**  A HUGE THANK YOU to my Friend Emily who is editing this story and who is helping me figuring things out when I get stuck, So THANK YOU.

 **AN2:**  Thank you so so much to everyone who reads this story, it means so much to me.

* * *

As soon as Steve hears Natasha say Tony's name he is positive that just for a second he feels his heart stop, "What happened? Is he okay?" Steve ask and even Sam turns to look at Steve worried as he can hear the fear in his voice.

"We're not exactly sure, but we know that something has happened. You need to get to New York, get to the tower as soon as possible." Natasha informs Steve, it being clear that that is all she is going to say. Honestly even if Natasha had more answers for Steve she probably wouldn't have given them over a connection that she isn't sure is secure.

"I'm on my way." Steve says hanging up his phone and heading back to the cockpit.

"What's going on?" Sam asks.

"Something's happened to Tony. We're going back to New York." Steve informs Sam.

"Wait. This is the first solid lead we've had in months and you want to drop it, waste what could be our only chance to get him back, for Stark?" Sam asks surprised as knows that Steve will do whatever he can to help his friend but he's seen more than once the lengths Steve will go for Bucky.

"Tony's my son." Steve reveals, wanting Sam to understand, "And he's Bucky's. If Bucky was himself he would tell me to go to Tony, that he's the one I need to help right now so that's what I'm doing. It's what I have to do." Steve says as even with the little that Natasha said he knows it is bad and Steve knows without a doubt that Bucky, and Howard and Peggy would want him to go to Tony; and as much as he wants to find and help Bucky Steve is sure that he wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't go to Tony.

"What can I do?" Sam asks, getting over his shock as he knows that there is more important things that the hundred questions he has for Steve.

"Call Rhodey, see if he'll tell you anything." Steve asks, as even though he very much doubts it he hopes that Rhodey may say more than Natasha.

"Sure." Sam responds.

"Please be okay." Steve thinks to himself.

* * *

After Pepper left him alone in his lab Tony just started creating, while he had his computer read to him everything that can be found on Bucky Barnes/The Winter Solider. Honestly he wasn't sure what he was doing, All he knew was that he needed to do something and so he started to combine different things together, not really paying attention to what they were, and thinking about how different things could have been if he was told the truth when Peggy and Howard agreed to.

About an hour after Pepper left Tony adds what he didn't realise was a piece of Chitauri metal to what he as creating and the second he does an electric blue portal starts to form.

"Not good." Tony says as he quickly tries to shut down what he created, but instead of succeeding he gets pulled inside.

After a few agonizing minutes where all he sees is blue and white and electricity Tony feels himself hit the ground.

"Huh, portal travel is sobering who knew." Tony says to himself as he looks around and as he does he finds that he is an alley instead of in Avengers Tower, "I'm really hope I'm still in America." Tony says to himself as he stands up and brushes himself off, noticing that even though he is sober he is hurting all over. Once he is sure that he can Tony walks down the alley and to the main road. When he gets to the end of the alley Tony sees the street is pretty empty but all the cars parked on the road look to be older, getting an idea about what is going on Tony pulls out his phone to find, like he was suspecting, that it doesn't work, "I've timed travelled." Tony realises, and as he looks around he realises something, "Hang on, I know this place." He realises and as he spots a newspaper truck he rushes over and without the person seeing he steals one of the papers. Once he is down another alley Tony opens the paper and when he sees what is on the cover he feels his blood run cold as he sees,  _'Howard and Maria Stark die in Car Accident on Long island.'_

* * *

Three hours after Natasha's call Steve and Sam land the Quinjet at the tower. As soon as the plane is landed Steve runs inside.

"What happened? Is he okay?" Steve asks Natasha who is waiting at the dock.

"Where not sure." Natasha admits, "Tony was up in his lab when suddenly what looked to us as a blue light filled it, by the time Pepper, Rhodey and I got up there he was gone." She explains as they walk quickly through the corridors, "We've managed to get into the security feed and it looks like Tony was sucked into a portal."

"What kind of portal?" Steve asks, trying not to worry.

"We're not sure." Natasha admits, "Selvig and Jane are working on it." Natasha says, "With the Vision offering any help." she adds.

"Do we know anything more?" Sam asks as they arrive at one of the backup labs.

"Not yet."

"Dr Selvig, Dr Foster." Steve greats as they walk in, "What do you think happened?" he asks.

"We're still determining that." Jane answers, "We know that Tony was sucked into a portal but whether it moved him in time, or space, or both we don't know."

"When will you know?" Steve asks.

"Couldn't say, it could be hours, days, weeks or months." Erik explains.

"That's not good enough." Steve says angrily, not being able to think that he's lost Howard, he's basically lost Peggy and Bucky and now he may have lost Tony too.

"Calm down Steve." Maria tells him, still not knowing the truth so not knowing why he is reacting how he is.

"My Son has been sucked into a portal, how exactly am I meant to calm down?" Steve asks not caring about what he is saying because he is worried about Tony. At Steve's words Maria, Fury, Jane and Erik look shocked while Natasha, Pepper, Rhodey, Sam, Wanda and Vision don't look surprised at all.

"Your Son, do you want to explain that one Rogers?" Fury asks, actually surprised which isn't something that happens often.

"That's what happened four days ago Tony found his true birth certificate." Steve explains, "We went to Peggy and she told us that she and Howard were together since 1946 but no one knew; because Howard, Peggy, Bucky and I were together during the war Howard worked for almost twenty years to find a way to make a child that was biologically all of ours and he succeeded, with Tony." Steve explains, "Tony's my son, so I am not going to calm down, and I am going to do whatever it takes to find him." He says causing everyone to realise just how serious he is.

* * *

For a few minutes Tony just stares at the newspaper, barely believing what he is seeing.

"I'm in 1991." He says to himself then realises something, "Which means SHIELD, or worse Hydra probably would have been able to detect how I got here, not good." He realises, "I've got move." Tony says and he drops the paper and walks back onto the main street, doing his best not to draw attention to himself.

For a few minutes Tony walks, doing his best to keep an eye on everything without drawing attention to himself,  _"I need help."_ He thinks to himself,  _"But who SHIELD's compromised, Obie is at Stark, and Dad's gone._ " He thinks sadly,  _"Peggy."_  He realises,  _"She's the only one I can go to."_  He realises as even with how angry and hurt he is Peggy is still the only one he can trust, she is the only person who can help him,  _"This is going to be interesting_." Tony thinks as he knows that getting Peggy to believe him is going to be almost impossible, he just hopes he can. Because he knows where he is Tony also knows that he is close to the house he grew up in which means he isn't too far from Peggy's.

Ten minutes after he decided on where to go Tony arrives at Peggy's, the same place where he knows his younger self is currently sleeping. Taking a deep breath to prepare himself for what could happen Tony walks up the steps and to the door and knocks. As he hears movement Tony takes the few seconds he has to look around to make sure he wasn't followed.

"Yes, can I help you?" Peggy asks and thanks to all the years that he has known her Tony knows that Peggy is suspicious.

"I hope so." Tony says and Peggy just gives him a look, "This is going to sound crazy, believe me I know that, but I'm Tony from the future and I need your help." Tony says being pretty sure that Peggy will appreciate the bluntness.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" Peggy asks, looking at Tony suspiciously as while she can admit that he looks a lot like Tony she has spent too many years as a spy to believe something like that so easily.

"No, but I can prove it." Tony says, "The day after my ninth birthday I showed up at your door upset because for my entire birthday Dad had to be the person he was outside the house because there were people around. I didn't want to talk about why I was upset but you got me to. You told me that sometimes we have to have to wear masks, both literary and figuratively, to protect ourselves and others and that Dad loved me; that I was the most important thing to him." Tony explains, "And then you took me to what you called a special place, which I know now to be S.H.I.E.L.D, and you showed me old news real footage of Steve, showed me so much old Howling Commando stuff. When you took me home you told me that no one could know what we did because you would be in a lot of trouble if anyone knew so I promised you that I wouldn't tell anyone." Tony tells Peggy.

"Tony." Peggy says shocked, believing what Tony is saying.

"Yeah."

"How are you here?" Peggy asks as she lets Tony into her place.

"I'm still working on that but I guess creating something while drinking and angry doesn't end well." Tony explains as he steps into Peggy's place, not being able to help but smile at the fact that it is exactly how he remembers it to be.

"Why were you angry, why were you drinking?" Peggy asks.

"Because four days ago I found out that you and Dad had been lying to me my whole life." Tony explains.

"You know the truth." Peggy realises as they walk over to the couches and sit down across from each other

"About the fact that I have three fathers and you're my mother, yeah."

"Four days ago?" Peggy says surprised as even though she has been considering holding off on telling Tony she can't really see herself waiting that long.

"Yeah." Tony says, "You decided not to tell me because I didn't handle what happened to Dad and Maria well and you didn't want to turn my life upside down again." Tony explains, "But that's not the right choice. I, younger me, deserves to know. Waiting will only hurt me more. You need to tell me the truth, and soon." He informs Peggy.

"I don't want you, younger you, to be hurt because of the truth." Peggy tells Tony.

"So older you told me, but telling me will hurt me more in the long run." Tony tells Peggy, "Believe me, I know." He says and as she looks at Tony Peggy sees the look in his eyes and sees that he is telling the truth.

"I'll tell you." Peggy informs Tony.

"Thank you." Tony says gratefully.

"So if you're from the future then I guess we need to figure out a way to get you back there." Peggy says to her son.

"Yeah, we do." Tony comments, "I'm actually surprised that I haven't already disappeared." He admits.

"What do you mean?" Peggy asks.

"I came here because I was angry and drunk after finding out the truth. If you tell me the truth earlier then I would have no reason to get drunk and accidently create a time portal." Tony explains, "Unless…." He says trailing off.

"Unless what?" Peggy asks.

"Unless this always happened." Tony says, getting an idea, actually being glad that there was a time in his life when he was interested in time travel as it means he is familiar with all the scientific theories.

"You think a version of you have time travelled before?" Peggy realises, catching on to what Tony is saying.

"Maybe." Tony answers, "Can you honestly see yourself waiting twenty four more years before telling me the truth?" Tony asks.

"Honestly, no." Peggy admits, "But if you say I did then I must have had a very good reason."

"Peggy, what's going on?" A voice asks and who Tony recognizes as his younger self walks out of the other room.

"I'll let you talk." Tony says getting up walking and towards the kitchen.

"Peggy, who's that?" Younger Tony asks.

"He's you, from the future." Peggy explains, knowing that Tony is smart enough to figure it out on his own.

"Time travel's possible." Younger Tony says looking excited about that and because he knows himself and what mindset he was, is, in at the moment Tony knows what he is thinking.

"Why is he, me, here?" Tony hears his younger self say as he walks into the kitchen.

"He's here to tell me that I've made a mistake by not telling you something." Peggy explains.

"You've been keeping something from me?" Younger Tony says his voice sounding angry.

When Tony gets to the kitchen he spends several minutes just looking around and as he does he notices a shadowed figure pass by the kitchen window. It takes Tony a second but he quickly realises what it is and he goes running back into the living room.

When he gets to the living room Tony knows that Peggy has told his younger self the truth as he has tears on his face and is looking both angry and hurt.

"Get down." Tony tells Peggy and his younger self.

"Why? What's going on?" Peggy asks as pulls younger Tony down so that they can hide behind the couch.

"Someone's outside. Where's your gun?" He asks Peggy, asking where not if she has one as he knows enough about Peggy now to know that she definitely has a gun hidden.

"Lock box on the bookshelf." Peggy informs Tony and he rushes to the shelf and gets it.

"Why are you so worried about a figure outside?" Younger Tony asks as Tony checks to make sure the gun is loaded.

"Because in my experience a figure creeping around at dawn never ends well." Tony explains, "I'm go see who it is." Tony says heading towards the door.

"Be careful." Peggy requests and Tony nods.

Tony gets to the door just in time for it to burst open and before he can ever react Tony finds himself getting thrown across the room.

"TONY." Peggy yells in terror then she turns towards the person who sent Tony flying and she can't believe her eyes, "Bucky?" she asks in shock.

* * *

"Okay you need to do something other than pace, like now." Sam tells his friend as for the last two hours Steve has been pacing back and forward in the lab that they are in.

"Give me something to do to find Tony and I'll happily do that rather than pace." Steve responds.

"We're looking Steve, but it still might take a while." Jane informs Steve.

"We need to find a quicker way." Pepper says, "If Tony could he would have contacted us by now." Pepper tells everyone.

"Do you think so? After the last few days?" Maria asks.

"Considering that Tony knew Pepper at least was here and worried then he would." Rhodey says knowing that for a fact.

"So that means that he can't contact us and we should start to worry." Steve says, "Wanda, have your powers been able to tell you anything?" he asks as while Jane and Erik have been working on the science side Wanda has been attempting to use her powers to find out something, to find out anything.

"He's not here anymore." Wanda answers.

"Then where is he?" Steve asks, "Where is Tony?" he asks.

"He's in 1991." A voice that Steve has known his entire life says and Steve turns to see his best friend, "With me." Bucky adds, looking directly at Steve.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

This is set during post Age of Ultron. Mild Spoilers.

 **AN1:**  A HUGE THANK YOU to my Friend Emily who is editing this story and who is helping me figuring things out when I get stuck, So THANK YOU.

* * *

"Who's Bucky?" Bucky asks as he raises his gun and points it right at Peggy, "Why do people keep calling me that today?" he asks as he fires.

"NO." Tony says getting up and running over to Peggy and diving in front of Peggy and pushing her out of the way just as the gun goes off causing him to get hit in the shoulder.

"TONY." Peggy yells terrified.

"I'm fine. It's through and through, I heal quickly, I'll be fine." Tony assures Peggy, trying his best not to show how much pain he is in, as she grabs the gun Tony was holding and stands up.

"Drop the gun, Bucky." Peggy says as she points the gun at Bucky.

"He's brainwashed, he doesn't know who you are; he doesn't know who he is." Tony tells Peggy as younger Tony tries to help Tony with his wound and older Tony is more worried about Peggy than himself as he knows that in the state he is currently in Bucky will kill Peggy.

"You're Bucky Barnes, people keep calling you that because that's your name. That's who you are." Peggy tells Bucky, "I don't want to hurt you, but I will if I have to." She tells him and both Tony's know without a doubt that she is telling the truth.

"I'm no one." Bucky responds, raising the gun once more.

"No, you are someone Bucky." Peggy tells him taking a step forward, both the gun and her eyes trained Bucky.

"Who? Who am I?" Bucky says, a confused look In his eyes and if Tony had to guess he would say that killing Howard and trying to kill Peggy may have put cracks in his brainwashing which means they might just have a chance.

"You're the person that Steve Rogers has always and will always believe in." Tony tells Bucky as he stands up, wincing in pain as he does, saying the first thing he can think of that has a chance of stopping Bucky from shooting Peggy.

"Steve…..I know him." Bucky realises, a look that Tony can't explain appearing on Bucky's face.

"Yeah, you do." Tony says, searching for something through his pockets, "This is who you are." Tony says pulling photo of Steve, Howard, Bucky and Peggy together out of his pocket, actually being glad that he took it out of the album during his drunken binge, "This is you, and the people who love you." Tony tells Bucky; as even though he is furious at Bucky for maybe killing his parents, something which seems more and more likely, he will do whatever it takes to protect Peggy and his younger self and to do that than he is going to have to help Bucky, "Look at this, and try to remember." Tony says as he hesitantly walks towards Bucky.

"Look at the photo Bucky, it's okay." Peggy says, not taking her eyes off Bucky as younger Tony look on at the events going on with confusion on his face.

Hesitantly Bucky reaches out and takes the photo of Tony and has a look,

"The blond man, I see him sometimes, in my head." Bucky says.

"That's Steve." Peggy answers, a sadness to her voice, "Focus on him, focus on the photo. Try and remember." She suggests as she and Tony exchange a look.

For a few minutes everyone can feel the tension as Bucky stares at the photo, both Peggy and Tony being prepared to react if Bucky tries to attack once more. After about five minutes Bucky drops the gun.

"Bucky?" Peggy asks concerned.

"What have I done?" Bucky asks falling to his knees.

"Nothing you would have done if you had a choice." Peggy says walking over to Bucky, "Nothing is on you." Peggy tells him. While Peggy goes to Bucky Tony walks over to the window while Younger Tony just stands completely confused.

"We should get out of here in case the people controlling Bucky comes looking." Tony says, being as vague as possible because he is pretty sure that telling Peggy about Hydra right now is a bad idea.

"Oh god, Howard, no, no, no." Bucky says tears coming to his eyes and hearing the absolute despair and horror in Bucky's voice Tony knows that Steve was right, "I killed him, I killed Howard." Bucky realises tears rolling down his face and everyone hearing a voice full of pain, horror and guilt.

"YOU BASTARD." Younger Tony yells horrified, running towards Bucky. Not surprised at all by his younger self's reaction, but not having time to stop Tony watches, with a bit of satisfaction, as his younger self punches Bucky in the face, something that Bucky doesn't even react to; but before he can do anymore Tony gets to his younger self and grabs hold of him with his arm that doesn't have a bullet wound in it and prevents him from doing more.

"LET ME GO. HE KILLED THEM. HE KILLED THEM." Younger Tony yells furiously.

"I know, I know." Tony says, "And I get it Tony, you know I do; but now's not the time for that. We've got to go." Tony says as he can't help but think that ever second they stay is a chance that Hydra could attack.

"Go where?" Younger Tony asks as he continues to try and fight Tony.

"Somewhere safe. Somewhere where we can't be found." Tony says.

"Howard and I have a safe house that no one knows about, it's not far." Peggy says standing up.

"That'll work." Tony says as Peggy walks over.

"We can't leave Bucky behind." Peggy says looking at both Tony's knowing that it is going to hurt them to hear it but needing to say it.

"I know." Tony says forcing himself to say the words, "We won't." Tony says, hating that he is saying that considering everything but at the same time he knows it's the right choice, as Peggy walks over to the hall closet, "What are you getting?"

"Emergency supplies, including a first aid kit for that shoulder." Peggy says pulling out a backpack.

"I know exactly how hard this is going to be for you because it's just as hard for me, but he has to come with us." Tony tells his younger self.

"Why?"

"To protect us all." Tony explains as all four of them will be in danger if Bucky stays behind, "And… it's the right thing to do." Tony adds as even though a part of him wants to leave Bucky behind he knows he can't, that it wouldn't be right.

"Fine, I won't attack again." Younger Tony says and it Tony watches his younger self carefully before finally removing the arm he has from around him.

"Let's go. Out the back. All of us." Tony says to Bucky and he, Peggy and Younger Tony head towards the back door.

"Tony." Peggy says when she notices Bucky hasn't moved at all.

"I'll get him." Tony says, "You and Tony get to the car, if we're not there in five minutes, leave. Get to the safe house." Tony tells Peggy.

"You do not tell me what to do young man." Peggy tells Tony, "I'm not leaving you, either of you." She says.

"Should have seen that coming." Tony realises, "You and Tony need to be safe, that's what matters."

"You and Bucky matter to." Peggy tells Tony.

"I'm not saying we don't. I'm saying that you and Tony need to get to safety no matter what, of course I would rather be with you but if I'm not then you two need to be." Tony says, "If you protect Tony you protect both of us." He tells Peggy.

Knowing that Tony is right Peggy walks over and whispers the location of the safe house to him.

"I'll wait seven and a half minutes for the two of you then go. If you're not at the safe house within the hour I'm going to come looking." Peggy informs Tony, "Got it."

"Got it." Tony responds and he walks over to Bucky while Younger Tony and Peggy left.

"You shouldn't have stopped him." Bucky says to Tony.

"Believe me, I didn't want to, but I had to." Tony says, "I'm him, all grown up, which means I know exactly what he's feeling."

"Then why are you protecting me? I killed your parents." Bucky says, honestly after everything he has been through time travel doesn't seem so strange.

"Yeah you did, and we're going to have a long discussion about that at some point, but right there is something bigger that we have to deal with, together." Tony says, "I know who brainwashed you, and I know what they'll do if they catch up with Peggy and, well, me, and I can't let that happen." Tony says, "I know that somewhere inside you love Peggy or at least you did love her, and someone we both know told me that you would never hurt someone you love if you were in control; so even though I don't trust you I'm choosing to trust him." Tony says, "Peggy and younger me need protection from things they can't know about and I can't protect them alone. I need your help, they need your help, prove to me that what Steve Rogers told me is true." Tony says to Bucky, for a second Tony isn't sure if his words have had any affect and he quickly starts to think of something else to say but then Bucky stands up.

"Let's go." Bucky says and after exchanging nods both Tony and Bucky go running towards the back door.

* * *

At the sight of Bucky Barnes standing in the doorway to the room everyone is shocked and because they aren't sure which version of him they are dealing with Natasha, Maria and Fury all get ready to fight if they have to.

"Buck?" Steve says in complete shock.

"Hey, Steve." Bucky responds, not really sure how to act as even though he has spent about a year trying to figure out who he is he is still hazy on some things.

"Are you, you?" Steve asks as he walks over to his oldest friend.

"Mostly." Bucky answers as even though he is still experiencing moments of complete confusion and nightmares and other side effects from what Hydra did to him for the most part he is himself again.

"I've missed you so much." Steve says pulling Bucky into a tight hug.

"I've missed you too." Bucky responds as they hug.

"How'd you get in here Barnes?" Natasha asks when Steve and Bucky break apart.

"Tony built a secret way that's not in any of the blue prints, he told me." Bucky explains.

"Why would he tell you that?" Rhodey asks suspicious about what is going on as well as very confused.

"Because in 1991 we spent time together and we, or more specifically Tony realised that he wouldn't be able to create what he needed to get back here in 1991." Bucky explains, "He needs the device to be built by those of you here, and my knowledge of what happened in the past to get the timing right so that he can come home." Bucky explains.

"Why should we trust anything you say?" Fury asks suspiciously.

"Because I say so." Steve says protectively.

"It's okay Steve, I was expecting this." Bucky assures Steve, "I'm not asking you to trust me, I'm just explaining Tony's plan." Bucky says pulling something out of his pocket, "Tony wrote this in 1991. We hid it and I collected it half an hour ago. It's the complete instructions on what needs to happen for Tony to come home. It's in Tony's handwriting and there should be more than enough to prove that what I am saying is true." Bucky says taking a step forward, "He told me to give it to Pepper and only Pepper."

"That's me." Pepper says stepping forward, "Is he okay, in 1991?" she asks concerned.

"He has a through and through bullet wound, is dealing with everything he's learnt in the last four days as well as even more truths he's found out in the past, but he's okay, yeah." Bucky says handing the letter over to Pepper, and because of how well he knows Bucky Steve can hear the guilt in his voice when he mentions Tony's bullet wound though he is pretty sure that no one else can.

"Do you know the truths Tony's dealing with?" Steve asks, being concerned about the guilt he heard in Bucky's voice and Tony.

"Yeah, I do." Bucky says looking directly at Steve.

"He's telling the truth." Pepper says, after a few minutes once she read the letter, "Tony needs our help, all of our help." She adds looking at Bucky.

"What do we need to do?" Steve ask.

"The instructions for the device are in the letter." Bucky explains, "Tony was just going to tell me, but not even factoring in my memory problems I didn't understand enough of what he was saying to explain it so he wrote it down instead" Bucky explains, "He said Jane and Dr Selvig will know what to do."

"Of course we will." Jane says walking over to Pepper so that she can have a look at the letter, "Let's get to work." She says.

* * *

Half an hour after Bucky stood up and he and Tony left Peggy's place they, along with Peggy an Younger Tony are at Peggy's and Howard's safe house. Tony is still in pain but slightly less now that his shoulder has been treated, treatment which involved Peggy having to stich up his wound.

"So, how long are we going to stay here for?" Younger Tony asks.

"Until it's safe." Peggy answers.

"And how long will that be?" Younger Tony asks.

"I'm working on that." Tony says, as honestly that's what he is trying to do, "But I've got to say I had pretty great timing." He jokes.

"Tony what are your memories of experiencing this night?" Peggy ask, wondering if maybe there is a reason why Tony's timing was so good.

"Um, showing up at your door, crying, drunk telling you what happened, crying on you." Tony explains, "After that's it's pretty hazy, I remember hearing a knock at the door and you talking to someone but that's it."

"But that's not right." Younger Tony says, "You, being here changed that, I doubt even I would forget what Peggy told me, or what's happened." Tony explains.

"I don't think I would either." Tony admits, "But if I didn't I wouldn't be here. In my memories I didn't find out the truth about me for twenty four years and because of that I got drunk and angry and accidently built a device that created a time portal. That wouldn't have happened if I got told tonight, which means I wouldn't be here right now." Tony says.

"Unless this is the way it always happened." Bucky comments.

"What do you know about time travel?" Tony asks, a bitterness to his voice.

"How—someone I used to know used to read all the newest information on the time travel theories and talked about it when they couldn't sleep." Bucky says, stoping himself from saying Howard's name as he isn't sure how much either Tony knows.

"He does that all the time." Peggy comments, with a sad smile, knowing that because more than once she has heard Howard's annoyed rant about he is positive that he could time travel but the technology for him to be able to create what he needs doesn't exist yet.

"I really didn't need to know that." Tony mutters to himself, "That all makes sense, but what doesn't is why I don't remember any of this." Tony says annoyed, being pretty sure that the answer is right in front of him and he just can't see it, or maybe he doesn't want to.

"Because my memories of this night get altered." Younger Tony says and everyone turns to look at him, "You said it yourself. You're here because the truth of your, of our, parents were kept from you. If that never happened, if Peggy told you tonight or another night soon, then you wouldn't have accidently time travelled, you wouldn't have gone to Peggy for help which means you wouldn't have been there to save her from Bucky."

"That makes sense, but Peggy wasn't attacked by Bucky in my timeline." Tony says, "I would have remember that or if I didn't then I would have found record of it because believe me I looked." Tony says knowing that for a fact as nothing about Bucky attacking Peggy came up in the Winter Solider/Bucky Hydra files.

"Who was controlling you?" Peggy asks Bucky.

"Don't answer that." Tony says quickly before Bucky has a chance, "Until we figure everything out I think we should be careful about what we say." He comments

"It would be the smart thing to do." Peggy admits, "But answer this, are the people puling the strings likely to give up after a failed attempt?'

"No." Both Tony and Bucky say together without hesitation.

"From what you said earlier I'm alive in your future." Peggy say to Tony who nods, "Then what happens today must somehow take me of the hit list and leave Tony and most likely me no memory or at least hazy memories of this morning." Peggy realises.

"Makes sense." Younger Tony says.

"I was so mad at you." Tony says looking at Peggy, "I was furious that you never told me that you were my Mom, that I have three biological fathers, but if what we're realising is true, then it wasn't your choice not to say something, it was mine." Tony realises because he knows ultimately it is going to be him who has to make the choice between Peggy's life and knowing the truth. Not that it is a choice because Tony doesn't even have to think about it he will save Peggy, he will always save Peggy.

"Three fathers?" Bucky asks, confused, surprised and wondering if that means what he thinks it means.

"Um yeah." Tony says looking to Peggy for help. Seeing what he is asking Peggy stands up and walks over to Bucky.

"After the war Howard and I got together and we have been ever since." Peggy tells Bucky, "Not many people know. Everyone else believes that we are with other people." She explains, as she sits down next to Bucky, "In 1950 when Howard and I decided that we wanted to start a family we knew that we wanted a child that wasn't just ours but that was biologically yours and Steve's as well." Peggy explains to Bucky, "It took almost twenty years but Howard was able to figure out a way using DNA he got from blood belonging to you and Steve. Tony's is our son, he's all of ours." Peggy explains.

"He is?" Bucky asks shocked, completely overwhelmed and not sure what to think.

"Yeah, he is." Peggy responds and the two of them just look at each other, neither of them needing words to explain what they are thinking.

* * *

"Why doesn't, didn't, Tony just create what he needs to get back her himself. Why does he need us?" Rhodey asks as he knows his best friend and knows that no matter the time Tony could probably build something to get out of whatever trouble he's in.

"Because he couldn't." Bucky says, "To be able to re-create what he spent a while trying to remember Tony said he needed something that only existed on this planet after 2012." Bucky explains.

"Chitauri metal." Erik realises.

"Um, specific time and place for portal. You know that right? Or do we have to figure out a way to figure it out?" Jane asks.

"I know it." Bucky says, "Two days from now at 6:03am in Howard's office at his mansion. It's the only time you'll be able to bring Tony back. We only have one shot at this." Bucky explains.

"And what happens if we miss that one chance?" Sam asks, though he is sure he can guess.

"Tony gets stuck in the past, forever." Jane answers.

* * *

"Um sorry to break up the whole staring into each other's eyes thing that you guys have going on but we have to figure some stuff out." Tony says about five minutes after Peggy finished explaining the truth to Bucky.

"Yes we do." Peggy says turning away from Bucky to look at the Tony's.

"I am not going to let you die, there is no way, so I need to forget the truth." Tony says looking at Peggy.

"I agree." Younger Tony says and Tony nods.

"That means we've got to erase or alter the memories of you and younger me and get you back to your place and soon." Tony says, "Then me and you have the hard job." He says looking at Bucky, as there is something else that needs to be done to make sure Peggy isn't on Hydra's hit list and he won't be able to do it without Bucky's help.

"Whatever it is I'm in." Bucky says as even though he is very uncomfortable with the idea of changing Peggy and Younger Tony's memories he knows that it is the only way to save Peggy, the only way to make sure he doesn't kill Peggy, which means he's willing to help.

"You might regret saying that." Tony comments, as it is his plan and even he knows it's not a good one.

"Please don't do anything too reckless or dangerous." Peggy tells Tony.

"I don't think we have another choice." Tony admits.

"Um can I point out a flaw in the whole erasing slash altering memories thing." Younger Tony says, "You said that you were going to tell me the truth Christmas the year I turn twenty one, that's next week. What's to stop you from telling me then and changing everything because you don't know you shouldn't?" Younger Tony ask.

"That's a very good point." Peggy says, "How will I know not to say anything?"

"Um…" Tony says trying to come up with an idea.

"As your memories are being erased or changed focus on the single thought of 'I cannot tell Tony the truth.' You won't remember why but you'll always have the nagging voice telling you that it's a bad idea and hopefully you'll listen." Bucky says, it being clear that he is speaking from experience which causes Peggy to become sad and the two Tony's to not exactly be sure what they are feeling.

"How are we going to change memories?" Peggy asks, deciding to get the attention off Bucky.

"Drugs, we've got to mix the right combination for the specific memory loss we want." Tony explains.

"And you know these combinations?' Bucky asks.

"Not of the top of my head but it will only take me a few minutes to figure them out." Tony says to Bucky, "But the big question is how are we going to change your memories without your agent side realising something is up?" Tony asks looking at Peggy.

"Honestly, I was wondering the same thing." Peggy admits and the four of them drift into silence, all of them trying to figure out a way to solve the problem. "Implant fake memories." Peggy says after a few minutes, "It's the only way." She realises.

"NO. Absolutely not." Tony says, "Erasing or hazing memories is bad enough but implanting fake memories is a step to far, and I won't do that." Tony says as after what he has watched Peggy go through in the future and what he's gone through thanks to his PTSD and what Wanda did he will not do that, especially not to Peggy.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

This is set during post Age of Ultron. Mild Spoilers.

 **AN1:**  A HUGE THANK YOU to my Friend Emily who is editing this story and who is helping me figuring things out when I get stuck, So THANK YOU.

* * *

"Tony…" Peggy starts to say.

"No. We're not talking about this, no. I won't implant fake memories, I just won't." Tony says, "We're going to have to figure out another way."

"There might not be another way." Peggy says as while she isn't fond of the idea either she doesn't see another way as she knows that now she knows about Bucky she will do whatever it takes to help him, no matter what the consequences are.

"There has to be." Tony says.

"I'm with Tony on this, implanting fake memories is a line we shouldn't cross." Bucky says and Tony looks at him grateful but then he realises what he is doing and he quickly turns away.

"Why does Peggy's memories need to be messed with in the first place?" Younger Tony asks, "I mean I get me but why her?" he asks

"Because now I know that there is someone powerful enough to control Bucky I won't stop until I find them and take them down, no matter what it takes. I won't stop until I help him and make sure he's okay, regardless of the consequences." Peggy explains, "I'm guessing that doesn't happen in the future." She comments.

"No, it doesn't." Tony says, "But maybe it should. Going after the people behind all this now could save people, stop some pretty horrible things." He says not being able to help but think about everything that could be prevented if Pierce and Hydra were stoped now.

"They do need to be stopped." Bucky says, feeling like it may be a good idea.

"Then let's stop them." Peggy says.

"Are you three listening to yourself?" Younger Tony asks shocked, "Maybe it's the fact that I'm younger and haven't been through all the crap you three have obviously been through but even I can see how much of a horrible idea that is." Younger Tony Say, "Say you stop whoever this bad is and you save people, what if we create something worse in the future? Or cause more innocence people to die? We don't know what affect us changing something, something that seems to be pretty big could have." Younger Tony says, "What if we make things so much worse?" he asks

"What if we make things better?" Tony says to his younger self.

"What would be the chances of that? Honestly, I can do the math so I know you can." Younger Tony tells himself.

"The odds were against Steve too, and look how amazing he is." Bucky points out.

"An anomaly." Younger Tony says, "Just think for a minute. If this bad is defeated now could you say that the events leading up to you finding out the truth would definitely happen?" Tony asks his older self, who avoids looking at him, "See, that's my point." Younger Tony says, "I'm agreeing to forget the biggest thing I've ever been told because I have to, maybe the rest of you should remember that." He says angrily before storming into the other room.

"He's right." Peggy says as they all hear the doors slam, "We don't know what we could be doing if we change things that we know don't happen in the future." She says.

"I am not going to give you fake memories." Tony says, it being clear that he too has realised his Younger self is right.

"There might be another way." Bucky says and Peggy and Tony turn to look at him, "We've just got to give a reason you'll believe about why you have gaps in your memories." He explains.

"I think I have an idea about that." Peggy says.

"Good, I guess I'll go talk to myself, huh not the oddest thing I've ever said." Tony says walking to the other room.

When he enters the other room Tony finds his younger self just sitting on the chair.

"We're not going to change the future." Tony tells himself.

"Good I'm glad to see that I'm not a complete idiot in the future." Younger Tony comments, "Although you're working with the man who murdered our parents, only a few hours ago I might add, so you, I, must be a pretty big idiot."

"I've been told that." Tony comments, "I wouldn't be working with him unless it was absolutely necessary. To protect you, me, and to protect Peggy I need his help." Tony explains.

"HE KILLED OUR PARENTS." Younger Tony yells angrily.

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I think about it every time I look at him?" Tony says angrily, "I hate him, I really do, but I've been through enough to know that sometimes you have to put your emotions aside so that's what I'm doing." Tony says, surprising himself by actually saying that, "The only way I am going to be able to do what I have to do to protect Peggy and me is by working with him so I'm focusing on that." Tony explains.

"I hate this, I hate him." Younger Tony says.

"Like I said, so do I." Tony responds.

* * *

It has been several hours since Jane explained what would happen if they don't manage to get the time portal open at exactly the right time. In that time Steve had noticed that Bucky has been staying off to the side, away from everyone.

"Are you alright?" Steve asks concerned walking over to him.

"I'm trying to figure that out." Bucky admits and before Steve can asks what he can do to help Erik interrupts them.

"If time is passing at the same rate in both times then why did it take almost three days for Tony to be ready to come home?" Erik asks.

"Because there was some things that we had to do." Bucky explains, "Plus it took Tony a little way to figure out everything and both of us a little while to completely come up with the plan." He explains.

"So you and Tony spent a lot of time together?" Steve asks, wondering and worried about how that went.

"Yeah."

"How was that?" Steve asks.

"At first tense, difficult, but that made sense. Things got better though." Bucky says and by the look that Steve gives him he knows that Steve knows that there is something he's not saying.

"What kind of things did you and Tony have to do?" Pepper asks curious.

"That's a long story." Bucky admits.

"Then start taking Barnes." Natasha tells him, and that's what Bucky does.

* * *

About an hour after Tony and Younger Tony's conversation about Bucky they are back at Peggy's place.

"I though it wasn't safe here." Younger Tony comments

"It's not, and that's what Bucky and I are going to do yet, do what we have to make it safe." Tony explains, "But you both need your memories erased now. We can't wait any longer." Tony admits.

"You'll be careful, whatever it is that you are doing." Peggy says to Tony, who has purposely avoided saying what he and Bucky are going to do because he knows that Peggy isn't going to like it.

"Of course." Tony responds.

"Look out for each other." She says looking between Tony and Bucky which causes both Tony's to roll their eyes.

"So what how are you going to not find loss of memories suspicious?" Bucky asks.

"This is a bottle of scotch that Howard gave me on VE Day." Peggy says picking up the bottle that is next to the couch, "I had the first glass out of it just before Tony knocked on the door." She explains, "If I wake up next to this being complete empty then I may not find hazy memories suspicious." She explains.

"Good plan." Tony says, "Thankfully I was able to get everything I need from the chemist, I just need to mix them into the right combinations." He says.

"What will the affects feel like when we wake?" Peggy asks.

"Basically like a really bad hangover." Tony comments, "Minus the vomiting though, I think." He says as he pulls everything out, "I need a couple more things." Tony says heading to the kitchen.

"You know how to combine over the counter drugs together to erase memories." Bucky says impressed.

"Of course, it's actually easier than you would think." Tony says walking back in the room holding water, two glasses and a few other things, including pen and paper, "Hey, mini me, time me." Tony says to his younger self.

"We're the same size." Younger Tony says annoyed, "Younger me is more accurate." He says annoyed.

"Maybe, trying to do what you're doing as fast as possible isn't a good idea." Peggy informs Tony.

"Please this is so easy that I could do this in my sleep, or even completely drunk." Tony says and he continues to work.

For the next few minute's Tony works, making a few notes on the paper as he does, "Done." He says as he pours water into the two glasses then adds the mixture he created to it, "Once you drink this you'll both sleep for a few hours but feel both hung over and tired which fits with what I remember." Tony explains.

"So, I guess it's time." Younger Tony says, hating that he is going to forget what he discovered but knowing that it's the right thing to do.

"Yeah it is." Tony responds and Younger Tony nods and heads back into the room he was sleeping in earlier.

"So, I'll drink this and be asleep within a couple of minutes." Younger Tony says to Tony as they walk into the room.

"Basically yeah." Tony answers.

"How bad are the next few weeks going to be?" Younger Tony asks.

"Worse than you can imagine." Tony answers, "You'll hurt more than you thought was possible, but you'll get through it." He says and Younger Tony nods.

"Give me the glass." Younger Tony asks and Tony hands it over.

Once Younger Tony drinks the mixture, pulling a face as he does, he hands the glass back to Tony and then lays back on the bed and within a few seconds he is fast asleep. Because he remembers waking up with the blanket on Tony puts the blanket over his younger self before heading back into the living room.

"He's asleep." Tony says, "Are you ready for this?" he asks Peggy.

"I've just got to do one more thing." Peggy says before taking a large mouthful of the scotch, "The only way this is going to work is if it seems like I drunk this whole bottle." She explains.

"Well you're certainly not wasting fifty year old scotch." Tony says taking the bottle and sculling a large mouthful of it, "That's nice." He says, handing the bottle back to Peggy, who in turns takes another mouthful before handing the bottle to Bucky who finishes it.

"When I get back to the future I'll find a way to give you your memories of tonight back, promise." Tony tells Peggy, thinking that it is about time to pull out something he started working on when Peggy was first diagnosed with dementia again.

"I would appreciate that." Peggy responds walking over to Tony, "I love you Tony, and no matter the time I am so proud of you. I always have been and always will be. Never forget that." Peggy tells Tony.

"I won't." Tony says as Peggy hugs him, "I love you too." He says back in a whisper.

"Be careful whatever you're going to do now." Peggy requests.

"I will." Tony responds as they break apart and Peggy walks over to Bucky.

"You don't have to say it." Bucky says to Peggy, knowing what she is going to say.

"Yes, I do." Peggy responds, "This isn't fair to you, none of it. We had no idea, and we should have, I'm so sorry Bucky."

"It's not your fault, none of it." Bucky responds.

"It sure feels like it." Peggy responds and realising that there is nothing he can say to convince her otherwise Bucky hesitantly reaches out and hugs Peggy, hugging someone for the first time since he fell.

For a few minutes Bucky and Peggy just stand together holding each other, both of them taking comfort from each other.

"Um, it's time, we need to do this now." Tony says, feeling awkward about interrupting the pretty private moment that is going on between Peggy and Bucky that he is doing his best to avoid looking at.

"Yeah, guess it is." Peggy says as she and Bucky force themselves to let go of each other.

"That safe house we were at, will you be alerted if we continue to use it?" Tony asks as Peggy walks over to the couch.

"No." Peggy answers as she sits down. Once Peggy is sitting Tony hands her the glass, "Look after yourselves, look after each other." Peggy says looking between Tony and Bucky, "I love you both so much." Peggy says a tear coming to her eye, before drinking the drink, saying to herself over and over, "Tony can't know the truth." As she does.

* * *

"You two did all that?" Maria asks, surprised as Bucky has spent the last hour or so explaining what he and Tony got up to in the past.

"Yeah."

"And you call me the reckless one." Steve says to Bucky.

"That's because you are." Bucky responds.

"And what you just described you and Tony doing isn't?" Steve asks.

"It is, but we didn't really have much of a choice. It was the only way for us to get Peggy off Hydra's hit list." He explains.

"You do realise that could have gone horribly wrong, right?" Natasha asks.

"It almost did." Wanda says, "Something horrible almost happened, didn't it?" She asks Bucky.

"Buck?" Steve asks concerned.

"Yeah, things did almost go bad." Bucky answers before explaining what happened.

* * *

An hour after Tony gave both his younger self and Peggy the mixture that will erase their memories of the last few hours Tony and Bucky are back at Peggy's and Howard's safe house, because they had to erase all evidence of either of them being at Peggy's place it took them a little while to get back.

"We should leave soon. I just really need to clean up first." Tony tells Bucky.

"Leave where? You haven't even said what we're going to do" Bucky says, not really sure how to act around Tony now that it's just them. When they were around Peggy and Younger Tony it was easier, now he's just confused.

"We're going to break into wherever Alexander Piece is, and inject him with a drug that will make him prone to suggestion which we will use to convince him that Peggy Carter isn't a threat. Then I will haze his memories leaving the suggestion behind but he won't remember us." Tony explains, "We'll also get rid of any evidence that could indicate Peggy being a threat." Tony explains.

"That's…" Bucky starts to say trying to find the right word to finish the sentence off.

"Genius." Tony supplies.

"Dangerous." Bucky corrects, "You have no idea what Peirce is capable of, what he would do to you, to us if he catches us." He tells Tony it being clear that the thought of being around Pierce terrifies him.

"You don't have to come." Tony says, "I just need to know where he is and how to get in there." Tony explains.

"No, I'll come. You shouldn't face him alone."

"Good, we're in agreement." Tony says heading to the other room.

"Tony." Bucky says drawing his courage, knowing that there is something he has to do before they do anymore.

"What?" Tony asks turning back around to face him.

"I know this is probably going to mean nothing to you but I have to say it. I am so sorry for what I did, I am more sorry than I could put into words." Bucky tells Tony, "I'm not saying this because I want your forgiveness, I'll never forgive myself so I don't expect you to. I'm saying this because I need you to know that I wasn't in control earlier, and that if I was I would never have hurt Howard, or Maria. I am so sorry for taking them from you Tony and I no matter how long I live I will never forgive myself for that or stop trying to make things right, even though I know that's not possible." Bucky tells Tony.

"Good." Tony says, anger clear, "You shouldn't ever forgive yourself and you'll never be able to make this right." Tony tells him before turning away and walking toward the bathroom.

* * *

As he showers Tony can't help but think about everything Bucky said and sees his face over and over again and even with how angry he is even Tony could see the guilt and pain in Bucky's voice and on his face and he is honestly not sure how he feels about that.

"He killed them." Tony says and a voice inside his head that sounds suspiciously like Pepper's responds, "He wasn't in control, he didn't want to, can you blame him for something he couldn't control?"

"Shut up." Tony says as that is almost too good of a point.

* * *

About twenty minutes later Tony walks back into the other room where Bucky is waiting.

"Getting into where Pierce is isn't going to be easy." Bucky says to Tony when he sees him.

"I never thought it would be." Tony admits, "Is he here in DC?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Tony responds, "Does Pierce have much of security?"

"Definitely."

"Okay. Well I can build us things to get in and out easily and maybe even help once we are inside but for the most part we're going to be on our own." Tony informs Bucky.

"I thought as much." Bucky admits.

"So why don't you tell me everything you know about Pierce while I build." Tony suggests, Bucky nods and they both sit down at the table.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

This is set during post Age of Ultron. Mild Spoilers.

 **AN1:**  A HUGE THANK YOU to my Friend Emily who is editing this story and who is helping me figuring things out when I get stuck, So THANK YOU.

* * *

Four hours after Tony and Bucky sat down together to get started on what they had to do they are both outside the building where they will find Alexander Pierce.

"Are you ready?" Tony asks Bucky.

"No." Bucky says, being pretty sure that he could never be ready for what they are about to do, "But let's go." He says and the two of exchange nods.

"First stop security office." Tony says.

"Follow me." Bucky says and they head into the building.

Because they know that they can't risk being caught on cameras as it will completely mess with their plan Bucky and Tony slowly make their way through the facility and to the security office, being as careful as possible to avoid the cameras. When they arrive at the security office Tony pulls something out of the backpack he has opens the door and throws it in before quickly shutting it.

"You never did explain exactly what that is." Bucky tells Tony.

"Scientific term?" Tony asks and Bucky nods, "Sleeping gas." He respond and he once more opens the door so that they can enter the office where they find the two security guards fast asleep, "Because just easing the cameras will be too suspicious we're going to put them on a loop." Tony says as he quickly goes over to the equipment and starts pressing stuff.

"And that will give us twenty minutes to do what we have to, right?" Bucky asks, wanting to double check the facts.

"Yep." Tony says, "If it takes us longer than that then there is about a one hundred percent chance that we'll be caught."

"I've faced worse odds." Bucky comments in a completely serious voice and despite himself Tony finds himself smirking.

"Let's move." Tony says once he finishes doing what he was doing.

"Pierce's office is on the top floor, and he has the best security. He's not going to be easy to get to." Bucky tells Tony as they make their ways through the corridor.

"Sounds like another day at the office to me." Tony comments.

"What do you do?" Bucky asks interested.

"That's a very long story that I don't have time to explain now." Tony says and they are just about to walk around a corridor when Bucky puts his arm out in front of Tony and stops him from going forward, "What's going on?" Tony asks.

"Someone's coming." Bucky explains and both he and Tony quickly look around for somewhere to go.

"Supply closet." Tony says noticing the room and they both head to the room and hide in there.

"We're clear." Bucky says after few minutes of them hiding in complete silence.

"How can you tell?"

"I can hear really well." Bucky says as they walk out of the room, "We've just got to make it to the end of the next corridor where we'll find the stair well and then three floors up we'll find Pierce." Bucky explains and Tony nods.

For the next couple of minutes Tony and Bucky make their way through the corridors and stairs in complete silent. While the silence is due in part to them trying not to be noticed it is also in part because neither Tony nor Bucky know what to say to each other.

When they arrive at the top floor both Bucky and Tony pause and Bucky checks to make sure the corridor is clear.

"All clear." Bucky says to Tony, who nods and they make their way down the corridor, "Pierce's office is at the end." He explains and Tony nods.

"Good." Tony says wanting this to be over so he can start to figure out a way to get back to his time.

"So how exactly are we going to do this?" Bucky asks curious.

"Well I don't know about you but I've always found that the direct response works best." Tony says.

"Yeah, direct is good." Bucky comments as Tony searches through his backpack for something.

"You used to be a sniper, right?" Tony asks pulling out what Bucky knows to be a homemade version of a dart gun.

"I was." Bucky admits as honestly that felt like a lifetime ago.

"Good, we've got one shot at this, hit Pierce and he'll be out for two minutes. That will give us enough time to secure him before he wakes." Tony says as he hands the dart gun over to Bucky. Hesitantly Bucky reaches out and grabs it being sure that if it was a regular gun then he wouldn't have. "On the count of three." Tony says walking over so that he is right next to the door, "1,2,3." Tony says before pushing the door open. As soon as Tony pushes the door open Bucky steps in the room and fires the dart gun at Pierce, getting a perfect shot and knocking him out.

"Nice shot." Tony comments, before he can stop himself and they head inside the room, Tony pulling rope out of his bag while Bucky closes the door.

"We've got to make sure the ropes are tight, we can't risk the chance of him getting free before we've done what we have to." Bucky says walking over to Tony.

For the next minute Tony and Bucky work together to make sure that Pierce is secured to a chair. Once Pierce is secured Tony pulls a little black case out of the bag that has two stringers in it and pulls one of them out.

"I never asked, where did you get that?" Bucky asks curious.

"Dad and Peggy's. I've been discovering a lot about their secret hiding places in recent times so it wasn't hard to find." Tony explains, "Do you want to search or deal with Pierce?" Tony asks as he wouldn't mind doing either but he has a theory that Bucky would.

"I'll search." Bucky says as he would rather not speak to Pierce unless he has to.

"Okay. He should wake any second so we should get started." Tony says as he stabs the stringer into Pierce's shoulder.

For the next minute or so Bucky searches through Pierce's stuff grabbing anything that says anything about Peggy while Tony waits for Pierce to wake up. Finally after what feels like a while to Tony, during which he got pretty bored, both he and Bucky finally hear a groan from Pierce.

"Show time." Tony says walking over to Pierce.

"What's going on, you're going to regret this." Pierce says in a slur.

"Yeah, well I've heard that before." Tony says, "You and me are going to have a little chat." Tony says before sitting on the desk so he is right in front of Pierce.

For the next ten or so minutes Tony does what he has to do to make Pierce completely believe that Peggy isn't a threat while Bucky searches through the office, collecting anything related to Peggy and putting it in Tony's backpack.

"Say it back to me." Tony tells Pierce.

"Peggy Carter doesn't know anything. Howard Stark didn't tell her what he just learnt. She is an old woman, it's better for the cause if we leave her alone. Killing her will just expose us."

"Good." Tony says before injecting Pierce with two different needles at once, and in a few seconds Pierce is unconscious once more, "He'll only be out for a few minutes, have you got everything?" Tony asks Bucky who is doing up the backpack.

"I think so." Bucky says as Tony removes the ropes from around Pierce.

"Good, let's go." Tony says once he has untied Pierce. In response Bucky nods and hands Tony back the backpack which he puts the ropes into.

"We've only got a couple of minutes until the camera's come back on." Tony informs Bucky.

"Then we have to be quick." Bucky says as they rush down the corridor.

Being as fast as possible, though Bucky makes sure that he isn't too far ahead of Tony, they both run down the stairs.

"So, how did you know that was going to work?" Bucky asks as they run down the stairs.

"Shouldn't you have asked that before we did it?"

"In my experience asking that question before never ends well." Bucky admits.

"Probably true. I didn't know, not really." Tony admits, "But I realised that version of me did it before so I figured I could do it again, basically I was using Harry Potter logic."

"Harry who?" Bucky ask as they arrive at the ground floor.

"Harry Potter, right hasn't been written yet." Tony realises as they rush through the corridors, "It's a book series and a pretty good one at that, you should read it when it comes out." Tony says when they are about a corridor away from the exit and instead of responding Bucky throws his arm his arm out in front of Tony and stops him from going forward.

"Look." Bucky says to the look Tony is giving him and so Tony peers around the corner and sees guards all around.

"Great, that's going to make things more complicated." Tony comment, "We've got about two minutes until the cameras come back on."

"Which means you need to get out of here." Bucky says as he knows that if the camera's come back on and Tony is in the building then both Tony and his past self are in serious danger, "I'll provide a distraction so that you can get out of here."

"What about you?" Tony asks, even though he can guess the answer.

"We've got two minutes until the cameras come back on which means either one of us gets out of here or neither of us do and you need to." Bucky says to Tony, "You need to get back to your time. So it's got to be me that gets caught."

"I would argue, but we don't have the time."

"Good. Wait thirty seconds then head to the exit." Bucky says, "Goodbye Tony, I'm so sorry." Bucky says before turning the corridor and leaving Tony alone.

After Bucky leaves Tony counts to thirty before checking the corridor. When he does he sees the exit completely free and he is just about to run for it when he notices why it's free. It's free because all the guards are Bucky beating him even though he isn't fighting back.

Even with how mad he is with Bucky Tony knows that he can't just leave him to be beaten and brain washed again. Tony wants Bucky to hurt because of what he has done and he thinks that he hates him, but despite all that he doesn't want him to suffer as much as he clearly is.

"Come on, please be in here." Tony says searching his bag for the canisters he used on the guards and Pierce earlier, "Please be enough." Tony says throwing the canisters down the corridor as he hopes that he's right about the gas not being able to affect Bucky.

Tony waits about ten seconds before he looks down the corridor again and sees that while a few off the guards have passed out a few haven't thought they are woozy so before he can comprehend what he is going to do Tony runs and attacks the guards before they can realising what is going on, as he does he hopes that because they are so disorientated that they think he is Bucky.

"Come on, we've got better things to do than lay around." Tony says sticking out his hand for Bucky to grab.

"Thank you." Bucky says as he stands up with Tony's help.

"Don't, let's go." Tony says and they both run out of the building.

* * *

"He could have left me. I was expecting him to leave me, and after everything I did I deserved to be left." Bucky admits, doing his best not to look at Steve.

"Tony wouldn't have done that." Pepper says, "Even with how hurt, angry and betrayed he is Tony doesn't want anyone to suffer, he doesn't like to see other people in pain." She explains.

"I've started to notice that." Bucky admits.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Tony asks Bucky about twenty minutes after he helped Bucky up once they are back at Peggy and Howard's safe house.

"I'm fine, it's noting that won't heal." Bucky responds, "How are you? I'm sure that fighting didn't help your shoulder." Bucky says, guilt clear in his voice.

"Honestly, I think I've blocked out the pain." Tony says, "But if what I am feeling is anything to go by I've pulled some of the stiches Peggy put in." he admits.

"I can have a look if you would like, I remember some of my field medic training from the army." Bucky offers.

"Nah, it's okay. I've got to get going."

"Going? Where?"

"I've got to figure a way back to my time and to do that I need a lab, with equipment and supplies. The only place I can think of that will have what I need, that I can get into and that would be empty is Dad's personal lab in his mansion in New York. So that's where I've got to go." Tony explains.

"Would you mind if I joined you?" Bucky asks hesitantly not sure if it is a good idea but wanting to make sure that Tony is safe until he gets back to the future feeling like it is the least he could do considering everything.

For about a minute Tony is quiet while he considers that and what it would mean, "No." Tony answers, "I'm just going to grab what we need from here then we can get going." He tells Bucky, "Do you think you could get us a way to get there?" He asks curious.

"Yeah, I think I could do that." Bucky responds and Tony nods.

**Twelve hours later**

It has been eight hours since Tony and Bucky arrived in New York and they are currently in Howard's private lab, Bucky is sitting down while Tony paces.

"Maybe some rest will help, I mean it's had to be a while since you've slept." Bucky comments.

"No, I don't need sleep, I can get this." Tony says as he paces across the lab, "Tell me everything we know."

"What?"

"When I get stuck I need to hear the problem out loud, talk it through and I don't have what I'd usually use." Tony says, trying not to be sad as he thinks of JARVIS, "So you're it, get talking."

"Okay. Um, you came here from the future." Bucky says.

"Right."

"You said that you were angry and drunk and you accidently created the device that made the time portal."

"And I don't remember what I used to make that." Tony says, internally causing himself, "So, I've got to narrow that down and maybe that can help." Tony says pausing for a second, "Keep going."

"Um, you went to Peggy for help which was a good thing because you saved her life and was able to help me, which we all know most likely always happened." Bucky says, "We convinced Pierce that Peggy wasn't a threat and here we are."

"Okay, good. So this always happened, that's the theory we're working with, right?"

"Right." Bucky confirms.

"Okay, that's good. That means there has to be a way for me to get back, because I've gotten back before." Tony says.

"Maybe not." Bucky says and Tony turns to look at him.

"Explain."

"Well everything we've done so far is to preserve what we knew already happened but when it comes to you and the future….."

"We don't know what happened." Tony realises, "There is nothing concreate that says I get back to the future, a version of me could have been hiding for the next twenty years, or something could have happened." He realises, stopping to pace as he truly comprehends what that will mean.

"No." Bucky says sanding up, "That's not acceptable, you will get back to the future, back to the people you care about."

"Yeah, how? If you got an idea I'll be more than happy to hear it."

"You said it yourself you have to remember what you built to get here in the first place, that's the key." Bucky tells Tony.

"Right, remember what I made, I can do that….I think…..maybe….I hope." Tony says before walking over and sitting at the desk.

**Twelve hours later**

"DAMN IT." Tony suddenly says, causing Bucky to jump as for the last few hours there has be basically silence.

"What's wrong?" Bucky asks.

"I can't get it! I can't remember what I used." Tony says frustrated, "Aghhh." Tony says angrily pushing everything he is working on off the table as he is annoyed that he can't remember that he can't figure it out.

"Did that help?" Bucky asks.

"No, not really." Tony admits, "I'm close I can feel it, but I can't remember."

"Maybe you need a break, I mean you haven't slept in what, a day?" Bucky asks.

"Longer." Tony corrects.

"Then maybe a break could help." Bucky says, "Someone once told me that if you focus on a problem for too long you'll never solve it. The human brain is a complicated machine and is always working and just like all other machines it sometimes needs a break before completing a task."

"Dad told you that, didn't he?" Tony asks, not sure what to feel but realising that he doesn't feel anger when he looks Bucky anymore.

"He did." Bucky confirms, "I don't know much about science or technology or time travel, but what I do know is that taking time away from something your focused on can do a world of good."

For a little while Tony is quiet, considering what Bucky said, "I'll try getting some rest." He says, "Can you wake me in an hour?"

"Sure." Bucky says and Tony heads up to the bedroom he would always stay at when he stayed in this house leaving Bucky in the lab.

**Four Hours later**

After an hour of restful sleep Tony went back to work in the lab.

"Oh crap." Tony says three hours after he stared working again.

"What's wrong?" Bucky asks worried as in his experience someone saying oh crap while working in a lab never ends well.

"I figured it out, the last component of the device that brought me here." Tony explains.

"And?"

"It doesn't exist on this planet until 2012." Tony explains.

"That makes things slightly more complicated." Bucky comments.

"You think?" Tony says, getting up and starting to pace again, "I'm stuck here. I'm literary stuck here!" Tony says, "I can't re-create the device which mean I can't get home!" he says angrily, "I was an idiot! Drinking and creating something never ends well I should have known that by now. Stupid, stupid, stupid." He says.

"Okay enough." Bucky says walking over to Tony.

"Enough, really? Who do you think you are?" Tony asks, the anger back in his voice.

"Look I know you hate me, and I deserve it, but I want to help you get back to your future, get back to your life." Bucky says.

"Haven't you been listening? I can't get back to my time!" Tony says.

"Maybe you just haven't thought of a way yet." Bucky says, "You managed to build a time machine, while drunk, that tells me that there isn't much you can't do which means if anyone can figure out a way to get back it's you." Bucky says.

"The thing that doesn't exist yet was the key, I know it." Tony says, "I can't re-create the device without it or I could but it wouldn't work." Tony admits, "I don't know what to do." Tony say.

"You've just got to find another way." Bucky says, "There's got to be one, right?" he asks uncertain.

"Maybe." Tony says starting to think, "Okay, let's think. Time is fluid, it bends, that's the theory. Different times are connected." Tony says

"Okay, I don't understand that, but okay." Bucky says.

"Hang on, maybe, it could work." Tony says racing over to the desk and starting to hurriedly writing something, "I don't have to create the device."

"Huh?"

"If I can get other people to create the device and open the portal then I could get back." Tony says looking up at Bucky.

"Would that even be possible?" Bucky asks.

"With perfect timing and communication, maybe." Tony says.

"But doesn't that mean you'll have to communicate with people in the future, how are you planning on doing that?" Bucky asks

"I'm not, you are."

"What?"

"You said you wanted to help." Tony says defensively.

"And I do. But how am I going to communicate with the future?" Bucky asks.

"You're not, not exactly." Tony says, "You're alive in my time which means you remember this, and you'll be able to pass on the information needed to the people who can re-create the device."

"That makes sense." Bucky admits, "But you're forgetting that for decades I've had my memories erased. If f that happens in the future I may not remember that." He admits.

"Hydra's defeated by the time I came from." Tony says, "You're free. I don't know what state you're in, but I know that there's a chance that you can remember, and I know that you're my only chance." Tony admits, "And I don't hate you." Tony says forcing himself to say the words, "I want to, I desperately want to, but I can't." he reveals, it being clear that what he is saying is the truth.

"Thank you." Bucky responds, shocked and glad, "What do you need me to do?" He ask and Tony starts to explain.

**Eighteen Hours Later**

"So you know what you've got to do." Tony says to Bucky as they walk into Howard's office at six am.

"Yeah, whether I remember is the question." Bucky admits, "Where are you putting the letter?"

"In the back of this photo." Tony says as he picks up the picture of him, Howard and Peggy. You'll find it on the floor in the future." He explain and Bucky nods.

"Okay and once I collect it I go to the place called Avengers Tower and enter via the way you told me and I give the letter to Pepper and only her." He says.

"Correct." Tony confirms Tony says as he puts the back on the frame once more hiding the letter behind.

"If this works we've got two minutes." Bucky says.

"I know." Tony says putting the picture back on the desk before walking around the desk to stand across from him, "If this works once I'm gone you have to run."

"What?" Bucky asks surprised.

"Run James, as fast and as far as you can and never stop. It's the only way to stop Hydra from getting to you." Tony says.

"That will change the future, you've admitted that." Bucky says as one of the things that Tony has admitted is that he is still the Winter Solider for years more.

"I don't care." Tony says, "You don't deserve what Hydra will do to you, no one does, so you've got to run." He says and there is suddenly a blue electric light starting to form, "That's my cue." Tony says stepping forward, "Run James, Run." He says and to both of their surprise Bucky pulls Tony into a hug. After one awkward hug Tony and Bucky break apart.

"See you in the future." Bucky says.

"Yeah, see you there." Tony says with a grin before walking into the blue light.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

This is set during post Age of Ultron. Mild Spoilers.

 **AN1:**  A HUGE THANK YOU to my Friend Emily who is editing this story and who is helping me figuring things out when I get stuck, So THANK YOU.

* * *

For a few agonizing minutes where all he sees is blue and white and electricity Tony feels himself hit the ground and when he looks up he sees Steve, Bucky, Pepper, Natasha, Sam, Rhodey, Fury, Hill, Jane, Wanda, The Vision, and Erik standing around.

"Tony." Steve says relieved pulling Tony up and into a hug.

"Easy there Capsical, I'm okay." Tony says, awkwardly returning the hug.

"I'm so glad you're okay." Steve says relieved.

"Thanks." Tony says as they break apart and he walks over to Pepper and kisses her.

"Don't do that again." Pepper says to Tony when they break apart

"I'll try not to." Tony responds, "I thought I told you to run." Tony says as he turns to face Bucky.

"I did. I guess I didn't run fast enough." Bucky says to Tony with a shrug

"Thank you." Tony says.

"You don't have to thank me, I told you that I would help you get home." Bucky says.

"That you did." Tony says with a nod, "Speaking of home I have plenty of room if you want to stay with me at the tower while you figure things out."

"I'd like that." Bucky responds and they exchange nods.

"Bucky said you were shot, are you okay?" Pepper asks concerned as she turns to look at Tony.

"Yeah, you know me I heal quickly." Tony says, with a shrug trying to make it seem like it's not a big deal as he doesn't want anyone to worry or Bucky to feel bad, something which shows just how much things have changed in the last few days.

"Not this quick." Pepper says with a frown, seeing what Tony is trying to do

"I'll get Dr Cho to look at it when we get back to the Tower." Tony says, being pretty sure that he doesn't have another option.

"Good." Pepper responds, relived.

"Nice job on the portal." Tony says to Jane and Erik, who he has turned to look at.

"Nice job on the instructions, they were pretty easy to follow." Jane tells him.

"Good I'm glad." Tony says looking around, "How about we get out of here and head back to the tower." Tony suggests.

"Sounds good." Natasha says and everyone heads towards the door.

Instead of following everyone else out of the door Tony walks over to his desk where someone has put the albums that he left on the floor. For a little while Tony just stares at the albums, trying to decide what to do.

"Tony?" Pepper asks when she notices that the he hasn't followed them.

"I'm coming." Tony says as he makes his decision. Instead of putting the albums back where he found them Tony picks them up, deciding to take them with him.

* * *

When they got back to the tower Tony and Pepper headed straight to Doctor Cho's lab while the others headed to the main living area.

"So what's the verdict?" Tony asks curious after Helen has had a chance to look at his shoulder.

"It's healing well, whoever stitched you up clearly knew what they were doing." Helen say, "But you said you were shot almost three days ago?"

"Yep."

"What is it?" Pepper asks.

"This injury looks about a week old." Helen admits.

"Yeah, that happens. I heal fast, I always have." Tony says with a shrug.

"And you've never wondered why?" Helen asks.

"Of course, but I've had other things to focus on." Tony says, as the fact that he heals fast is something he was just thankful for not something he questioned much "I have a theory now, but still working on a way to test it."

"Well if you need some help let me know, I would be quiet interested in finding out the answer to that." Helen says.

"I will." Tony says though he is pretty sure that this is something he has to do alone.

"So, are you going to continue avoiding everyone or are you going to deal with things?" Pepper asks walking over to Tony.

"Neither." Tony admits.

"Tony…" Pepper starts to say.

"I haven't really figured things out. I'm the reason I never knew the truth not Peggy and I don't know how I feel about that, I don't know how I feel about any of this." Tony admits, "I'm not going to avoid everyone, but I'm not going to actively deal with it either." He says.

"You can't avoid this forever Tony." Pepper tells him.

"I can try." Tony says standing up, "If anyone other than people who are biologically related to me needs me I'll be in my lab."

"And if they do?" Pepper asks.

"I've gone out." Tony says as he walks out as while he is more comfortable around Bucky than he was he still isn't sure how to act especially now that he is home, thankfully he has a promise to try and keep to distract him.

* * *

A few minutes after Tony walked out of Dr Cho's lab Pepper walks into the living area where everyone is.

"Where's Tony?" Steve asks when Pepper walks into the room.

"He's in the lab, but he said that if anyone he is biologically related to asks then he has gone out." Pepper explains.

"Is he drinking again?" Rhodey asks.

"No, I don't think so. He had that determine, obsessively look on his face as he left." Pepper explains knowing that Rhodey will understand what that means.

"I'll go talk to him." Rhodey says getting up of the couch he is sitting on and heading towards the lab.

"You and Tony spent a lot of time together in the past, do you think he's doing okay?" Steve asks Bucky concerned.

"I don't know." Bucky admits, "We got along because we avoided the issue all together" Bucky admits, "Neither of us brought it up, basically all we talked about was how to get Tony to the future and what we were going to eat."

"He'll talk to you, to both of you, when he is ready." Pepper says, noticing the look on Steve's face.

"I hope you're right." Steve says as he would like to sit down with Tony and figure this whole thing out, figure out what they are to each other and what they both want.

* * *

"Don't do this again." Rhodey says when he walks into the lab where he finds Tony sitting at his computer.

"I'm not drunk." Tony responds, not looking up from what he is doing.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." Rhodey says as he walks over to his best friend.

"I've got a promise to keep. I don't have time to listen to your lecture." Tony says.

"What promise?"

"I told, no I promised, Peggy that I would give her back the memories I took. The memories of meeting me and Bucky in the past, of telling me the truth." Tony explains, "So that what I'm going to do." He says, "Gotcher." Tony says happily, glad he found the right program.

"Tony don't go down this rabbit hole again." Rhodey asks as he knows his friend which means he knows exactly where this path will lead and he doesn't want to see that again.

"This isn't like that." Tony says as he sends what he is looking at over to his holosystem so that he can have a better look.

"Isn't it?" Rhodey asks, "Ten years ago when Peggy was first diagnosed you threw everything you had into research for a cure, and it almost destroyed you, don't do that again." Rhodey says as he remembers all too well what Tony was like, "Tell me you haven't just pulled up your old research?"

"I can't do that." Tony says turning to face his friend.

"Why not? Tony, talk to me." Rhodey says.

"Do you know what meeting Peggy in 1991 showed me?" Tony asks.

"No."

"It showed me how much was taken from her and that I shouldn't have given up ten years ago."

"You had to. Peggy wanted you too." Rhodey points out.

"Yeah, well, that was a mistake. I'm not going to give up this time." Tony says, turning his attention back to what he is doing.

For a few minutes Rhodey just watches his best friend, trying to think of the right thing to say.

"Are you doing this to avoid dealing with everything you found out?" Rhodey asks.

Tony snorts at that, "It's just a handy side effect." Tony admits, "look, you can either help me or get lost, I'm not fussed.'

"What can I do?" Rhodey asks, realising that he isn't going to get through to Tony.

* * *

The following morning not sure what to do or where to go Bucky is just sitting in the living area when he hears footsteps and turns to see Steve walking towards him.

"How did you sleep?" Steve asks.

"I didn't, not really." Bucky admits as Steve sits down.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Steve asks curious.

"Not really." Bucky admits and they drift into silence.

For a few minutes Bucky and Steve sit in silence, both of them relieved to be sitting next to each other after everything they have been through.

"I walked by the lab a few hours ago, Tony was still inside working." Steve reveals.

"Why didn't you go in to talk to him?" Bucky asks, knowing without Steve saying anymore that he didn't go in.

"Because I don't think he wants to see me, or talk to me. Last time I tried to talk to him I got a spanner thrown at my head." Steve explains.

"Really?" Bucky asks, not sure what to think about that.

"Really." Steve confirms, "I know you said earlier that you didn't, but you and Tony spent almost three day together, you must have talked about something."

"Not really." Bucky says, "We talked about what we would have to do to Peggy and younger Tony to make them forget. What we would have to do to convince Pierce that Peggy wasn't a threat. We even drove from DC to New York and the only thing that was said was Tony complaining about the radio station every five seconds." Bucky reveals, "Truthfully Tony spent most of the last three days trying to hate me."

"What!" Steve says surprised.

"Steve, think about it. I just killed Howard and the woman who he believed was his mother for his entire life, can you blame him?" Bucky says, guilt so clear in his voice and it being clear that he struggled to say Howard's name.

"It wasn't you though." Steve says.

"That didn't matter, not at first."

"But it does now?"

"Yeah, he said he couldn't hate me." Bucky admits.

"Good, that's good." Steve says feeling like it is a step in the right direction.

"Steve? What is it?" Bucky asks when he notices the look on his friends face.

"I had myself convinced that I wasn't the person who wanted love and a family anymore. I even told Tony that after our latest battle, but now, since finding out about Tony…." Steve says trailing off.

"You want to be a father to him." Bucky realises, knowing Steve well enough to know what he is thinking.

"I want to be something." Steve says, "He's an adult, all grown up, so he doesn't need a father in the strictest sense, but I would like to be something." Steve explains.

"I think that everyone, no matter how old wants a parent, you should talk to him, tell him all this." Bucky says as he hasn't thought about what this news means, not really, but Steve clearly has and the two of them building something could be very good.

"I don't know if he is ready to have that discussion I mean he doesn't even want to talk to us right now." Steve points out.

"Steve…" Bucky starts to say, but before he can say anymore they are both distracted by a loud voice.

"DAMN IT TONY YOU NEED TO SLEEP, YOU NEED TO EAT." Rhodey's voice yells.

"I'M FINE." Tony's voice yells back and Steve and Bucky turn to see Tony and Rhodey walking down the stairs from the lab, Tony in his Iron Man armour.

"NO. YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE THE FURTHERST THIGN FROM FINE." Rhodey yells and from the tone of voice he is using Steve and Bucky are pretty sure that this isn't the first time they have had this argument, "Where are you going?" Rhodey asks as Tony puts his Iron Man mask on.

"To talk to my Mother." Tony says before flying out of the tower, completely ignoring Steve and Bucky who got up and walk over to him and Rhodey.

"Rhodey, what's going on?" Steve asks.

"Steve, Bucky." Rhodey says, only just noticing them, "I'm really glad it was you two who heard that." He admits.

"Why?" Steve ask.

"You should sit down, it's a long story." Rhodey says and the three of them walk over to the couch, "You know Tony drinking isn't the most worrying way he deals with things." Rhodey says.

"Then what is?" Steve ask

"What he's been doing since he got back from the past, what he did when Peggy was first diagnosed ten years ago, and what he did after Afghanistan." Rhodey explains.

"Which is?" Bucky explains, not really understanding what Rhodey meant by after Afghanistan but feeling like it wouldn't be the best time to ask.

"He focuses on a problem, and he obsesses about it and he doesn't stop until either he solves it or he's made to stop." Rhodey explains, "Tony drinking on the surface may seem more distractive, but trust me when I say it's not. He doesn't look after himself when he gets like this all he cares about is solving the problem, no matter the cost." Rhodey says and Steve and Bucky exchange worried looks, "After Afghanistan Tony being like that lead to him creating the Iron Man suit, but ten years ago it resulted in Tony almost killing himself trying to find a cure for Alzheimer's so that he could help Peggy." Rhodey says, it being clear to both Steve and Bucky that he didn't like seeing his friend like that.

"What happened?" Steve asks, not being sure if he wants to know but at the same time needing to.

"Pepper and I tried to get Tony to see that what he was doing was just hurting him, hell even Obadiah tried, though now that I think about it he was probably happy with Tony shutting himself in his lab."

"Who's Obadiah?" Steve asks confused.

"You don't know?" Rhodey asks surprised then realises, "Right, S.H.I.E.L.D covered it up." He says, "Obadiah worked with Howard before his death. After Howard died he mentored Tony, but it turns out he was always jealous. He was behind Tony's capture in Afghanistan, he paid Ten Rings to kill Tony, but they captured him instead." Rhodey explains.

"Ten rings." Bucky says, looking like he remembering something, "I know about them, they captured Tony?" He asks looking at Steve, as he knows enough about Ten Rings to know that Tony would have gone through horrible things while being captured by them.

"It was before I was unfrozen, but from what I know he was heled prisoner for three months before he escaped. He took shrapnel to the chest but I don't know what else happened." Steve admits, only knowing what he does as it was in the info that S.H.I.E.L.D gave him.

"No one does." Rhodey says, "He doesn't talk about it." He reveals, and for a few minutes all three of them are quiet.

"So you tried to get Tony to see he was hurting himself then what happened?" Steve asks feeling like moving on with the discussion might be best otherwise all of them are going to focus on the horrible things Tony has been through.

"It was over two weeks and the only sleep Tony got was when he passed out, the only food he ate was when he was forced and apart from spending time in his lab he did nothing else." Rhodey reveals, "Pepper and I didn't know what to do, we didn't know how to help him so we went to go see Peggy." Rhodey explains, "The disease was still in quiet early stages so she was a lot more like her old self than she is now and as soon as we explained what was going on Peggy basically demanded that we take her to Tony." He says with a smile, "She got through to him. She managed to convince him that the only thing he was doing was hurting himself and that she didn't want him to do that for her. He stopped working so obsessively on a cure but I believe he continued to work on it from time to time."

"What Tony obsessed with now?" Steve asks.

"Finding a way to give Peggy back the memories we erased." Bucky realises.

"Yeah." Rhodey confirms, "He also pulled out his research from ten years ago."

"What do we do? How do we help him?" Steve ask.

"I wish I knew." Rhodey admits.

* * *

After leaving the tower in his suit Tony flew to DC. Instead of flying straight to the facility where Peggy is Tony flew to the house he owns in DC, the house where he grew up, and left the suit there as it is the one place in DC where he knew it would be safe. After leaving his suit Tony got in one of the cars there and drove to the facility where Peggy is.

When Tony arrives at the facility he heads straight to Peggy's room. When he arrives he realises that Peggy must have just finished her breakfast as the nurse is walking out with a tray.

"Can I come in?" Tony asks from the door.

"Of course, you know you don't have to ask." Peggy says from the door, looking glad to see him, "How are you? Steve said you were sucked into a portal."

"Of course he told you that." Tony mutters as he pulls the chair over so that he can sit right next to Peggy, "I'm okay." Tony tells her, "I kind of accidently built a time machine." He admits.

"You accidently built a time machine." Peggy repeats, to make sure she heard right.

"Yeah." Tony says with a sheepish look.

"That's…..that's incredible." Peggy says, clearly impressed with what Tony manage to do.

"Thanks." Tony responds, "I went to 1991."

"You what?" Peggy asks surprised, "Why don't I remember?"

"Because I made you forget." Tony says looking guilty, "I'm so sorry Peggy, I didn't have a choice." Tony says looking upset, "And I'm so sorry about how I acted. You didn't deserve that, you were there for me, you were always there for me no matter what I mean, hell, you were even in the operating room with me when I had my appendix out and Dad was nowhere to be found, and I treated you so horribly, I'm so so sorry."

"It's okay, Tony." Peggy says reaching out and grabbing his hand, "It's okay." she assures him, "Why don't' you tell me everything." Peggy says and Tony nods, "But before that you should know that the reason Howard wasn't there when you had your appendix out wasn't because he didn't want to be, but because he went missing on an op, he was captured." Peggy explains, deciding that Tony deserves to know exactly why Howard missed something so important.

"He was?" Tony asks surprised and Peggy nods, "Wow." He says, not sure how to react to that, "Did that happen much?"

"More times than I care to remember." Peggy admits.

"If I tell you what happened in 1991, will you tell me what happened?" Tony asks curious.

"I will tell you everything you don't know. Everything I should have told you a long time ago." Peggy says, "How does that sound?"

"Good, that sounds good." Tony says and the mother and son start to exchange stories.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

This is set post Age of Ultron. Mild Spoilers.

 **AN1:**  A HUGE THANK YOU to my Friend Emily who is editing this story and who is helping me figuring things out when I get stuck, So THANK YOU.

 **AN2:**  Sorry about it being so long since updates.

* * *

For hours Tony sits with Peggy. He tells her everything that happened in 1991 and she tells him everything that he doesn't know, things that make him see a lot of things in a different light. When Tony finally leaves Peggy he heads back to the house to collect his suit so that he can fly back to New York.

When he arrives back in New York Tony takes advantage of the fact that everyone else should be at dinner and sneaks into his lab, and gets back to work.

* * *

For hours after he arrived back Home Tony continued to work and it isn't until well after midnight when he hears footsteps.

"Huh, you're not who I expected to see first." Tony says when he sees Bucky walk into the lab.

"I wouldn't have been except Steve and Rhodey have some Avenger stuff to do and Pepper had to go handle something." Bucky explains as he walks over to Tony.

"Right." Tony says going back to what he was doing, "Just say what you want to say and leave."

"You should give Steve a chance."

"That's not what I was expecting." Tony admits actually putting down what he is doing to look at Bucky, "I thought you were here to tell me that I need to rest, that I need to look after myself, all that crap."

"Would you have listened to me if I had?" Bucky asks as he is pretty sure he knows the answer but he wants to know what Tony will say.

"Well no, but I thought you would try."

"I considered it, but I figured it was useless so I thought I would save my voice." Bucky says.

"So instead you're here to tell me that I should give Steve a chance."

"Yes, I am." Bucky confirms, "He wants to be a parent to you, Tony."

"Does what I want matter?" Tony asks, purposely avoiding the subject.

"Of course it matters." Bucky says, "But you've been staring at that picture since you got back, so I can't help but think that you want the same thing." He says as ever since Tony returned to the lab he has been staring at a picture of Bucky, Howard, Peggy and Steve.

"How did you know that?" Tony asks, not denying or confirming what Bucky says.

"Making sure people don't hear or see me is something I'm an expert at." Bucky explains, "What do you want Tony?"

For a while Tony is silent while he is pondering the question, because he realises Tony is actually considering it Bucky doesn't say anything, "I don't know." He admits, "It's been a week since I found out and I haven't let myself think about it." Tony says, "Do you know what my first thought was when I found out Maria wasn't my mother?"

"No."

"That it wasn't my fault." Tony says, only admitting what he is admitting because he knows Bucky won't judge him, not after everything he's done, "Maria was never around and I thought it was my fault, I thought I did something wrong, that I wasn't good enough of a son for her." He reveals, "Dad was an amazing dad, but his multiple personalities sometimes gave me whiplash and I can't count the amount of times that I wished Peggy was really my Mom and now I found that she is. So when you ask me what I wasn't I said I don't know because I don't! I don't know whether to be happy that Steve wants to be a father to me or pissed as hell. I don't know how I'm meant to feel about any of this." Tony says, "You say I should give Steve a chance and maybe I should, but what I really want to do right now is run, crawl into a bottle or into a lab and not face any of this." He admits then with horror he realises just what he said, "Any chance you can forget all that?"

"No."

"I didn't think so." Tony says.

"I… I don't know what to say." Bucky admits, feeling completely out of his depth.

"You don't have to say anything." Tony says, and even though he knows that Tony means what he is saying Bucky can't help but feel like he should.

"Is that really how you feel?" A voice says and both Tony and Bucky turn to see Steve standing at the door to the lab.

"Okay from now on, make some noise!" Tony says, "Both of you." He says.

"Tony…." Steve starts to say

"Look I don't want to talk about it." Tony says cutting Steve says.

"Then we won't." Steve says, "I just want you to know that I do want to be a parent to you or whatever you want me to be, but I won't push you." He says, "When you're ready to talk about it I'll be here. I'm just asking you to think about it." He says, Tony nods and the three of them drift into silence.

"Did you really hack the pentagon when you were fourteen?" Steve says a few minutes later needing to say something to break the silence as none of them know what to say or what to do, and honesty he was curious about that since Tony mentioned it.

"Really?" Bucky asks amused.

"Yeah." Tony says with a laugh, "One of my classmates didn't think I could." He explains.

"And you had to prove them wrong." Steve realises.

"Of course." Tony says with a smirk, "When I got home on break Dad and Peggy were waiting for me." He explains.

"How did they react?" Steve asks curious, though he is pretty sure he could guess.

"Dad was impressed, and he congratulated me." Tony says with a proud smile.

"Of course he did." Bucky says with a fond, but guilty, smile.

"You would have done the same thing." Steve says, turning to look at his friend.

"True."

"Peggy gave me a lecture, or more specifically Peggy gave both of us a lecture." Tony explains, not sure how to react to Steve and Bucky's exchange.

"That sounds about right." Steve says and Bucky nods in agreement as it is something he could easily picture.

"Watching Dad getting lectured was so worth all the trouble I got in." Tony admits, then realises something, "I didn't even find it odd." He mutters.

"What do you mean?" Steve asks curious, wondering if he is pushing Tony.

"Peggy being the one lecturing me, I never thought that was a strange thing." Tony comments, "She did so much for me and I never questioned it." Tony says quietly, as like he told Bucky Maria wasn't around which made him think that she didn't care which hurt him a lot.

"Tony?" Steve asks concerned after a few minutes as Tony has been completely silent seemingly he is staring into space.

"I went to see Peggy today."

"I know. Did something happen?" Steve asks.

"No, not really. She told me some things, explained some things, thing I never knew." Tony says.

"Like?" Bucky asks, not sure if he should be asking but seeing as how it seems that Tony is in a sharing mood it could be a good idea.

"When I was seven I was home with Jarvis, Dad's Butler." He explains to the confused look on Bucky's face, "Dad had been called out of town on what I now know to be S.H.I.E.L.D business, it was a Saturday afternoon and I started to get really bad pain in my stomach."

"What happened?" Steve asks.

"Well…." Tony says before explaining,

_June 11_ _th_ _1977_

_For over an hour Tony Stark had been experiencing excruciating pain in his stomach._

" _Sir, I must insist." Jarvis told Tony in an attempt to get him to go to the hospital._

" _No." Tony said through tears, "Where's Dad? I want Dad." Tony said._

" _He's not here Sir." Jarvis said as he sat down on the edge of Tony's bed, "You need to let me take you to the hospital."_

" _NO. Not without Dad." Tony said as even though he didn't want to admit it he was scared and wanted his Daddy._

" _Tony…." Jarvis started to say._

" _NO. Not without Dad." Tony said as he turned, with difficulty away from Jarvis, "Go away." He said._

_As Jarvis watched Tony with a worried look on his face he realised that there was only one thing he could do. Considering that Howard was unreachable, Maria was out of town, and the fact that Jarvis had tried to the best of his abilities, there was only one person who had a chance of getting Tony to go to the hospital which was something he clearly needed._

" _I'll be right outside." Jarvis informed Tony before he left the room._

" _Where are you Dad?" Tony asked out loud, wanting his Dad._

_For the fifteen minutes that followed Jarvis leaving him Tony just laid on his bed, holding his stomach, crying and thinking about how much he wanted his Dad._

" _Go away Jarvis." Tony said when he heard the door open._

" _It's not Jarvis." A voice said, which caused Tony to turn and when he did he saw Peggy walk in._

" _Peggy." Tony said, "Where's Dad? I want Dad."_

" _I know you do." Peggy said as she walked over and sat next to Tony. She avoided answering where Howard was because at the time she didn't know as they had loss communication with Howard and the team he was with, "What's wrong Tony? What's hurting?" Peggy asked_

" _My stomach." Tony answered, "It hurts so much." He informed her and with a frown Peggy reached over and put her hand against Tony's head._

" _You're burning up." Peggy said, having started too grown even more concerned, "I need to take you to the doctors." She told Tony._

" _No. I don't want to go." Tony responded_

" _I know you don't, Honey, but you have to." Peggy told Tony, "You're sick Tony and you need to see a Doctor."_

" _I want Dad." Tony said, It was clear that the pain he was experiencing was getting to much for him._

" _I know you do." Peggy told him, "And I know I'm not your father, but what if I promised to stay with you the entire time, then will you let me take you to the hospital?" Peggy asked Tony having decided to skip the doctors and take him straight to the hospital_

" _You won't leave?"_

" _I won't leave." Peggy confirmed and Tony gave a small nod, "Do you think you can stand?"_

" _I think so." Tony responded and with difficultly he stood._

"She didn't leave me, she stuck to her promise." Tony tells Steve and Bucky "I had appendicitis and Peggy even came into the operating room with me." He explains, "It meant everything to me." He admits, "I didn't know until today, but the reason Dad wasn't there is because he was captured while on a mission. She was dealing with that and she still didn't leave me. How do I handle that?" He asks, actually looking at Steve and Bucky for an answer.

"I don't know." Bucky says.

"You realise that even though she couldn't be your mother in the way you deserved Peggy still saw you, still sees you, as her son and that's there's nothing she wouldn't do for you." Steve says.

"Right." Tony says and once more they drift into uncomfortable silence.

For a few minutes Bucky, Steve and Tony stand around in silence.

"Did Peggy really shot at you once?" Tony asks Steve curious, after a few minutes, needing to break the silence and being curious about that as while he could see that happening he has also wondered if it was just a story that Peggy and Howard told him.

"Yep." Bucky says as he has heard the story more than once and he finds it enjoyable every time he does.

"In Peggy's defence I did deserved it." Steve admits, "She actually caused those marks on my shield that I know you tried to get out."

"That's awesome." Tony says with a laugh.

"It really was." Bucky confirms.

"Awesome wasn't the world I would use." Steve admits.

"Of course not, I don't think I've ever heard you say awesome." Tony responds.

"You just did."

"I mean actually say it not just quoting me." Tony says rolling his eyes.

"He's got you there." Bucky tells Steve.

"Well awesome isn't exactly in my vocabulary." Steve comments, not even caring that he is being ganged up on because the three of them are getting along.

"That's because you're old." Tony informs him, "You're both old." He adds looking at Bucky.

"You know in a sense we're both younger than you." Steve points out.

"Yes, I know." Tony says with a frown, "But because that is so incredibly strange we're not going to talk about that, ever. You're ninety six and your ninety eight and that's all there is too it." Tony informs Steve and Bucky.

"Agreed." Steve and Bucky both say says as honestly they finds it too wired to talk about to. Honestly Steve just brought it up to see Tony's reaction. After Bucky and Steve's conformation that the three of them discussing the age different is to odd the three of them drift into silence, no one really sure what to say.

"Okay. This silence is driving me crazy." Tony says breaking the silence after about five minutes, as he puts down what he is working on.

"Well what do you want to talk about?" Steve ask as he exchanges a look with Bucky.

"Anything." Tony says being pretty sure that he would talk about basically anything right now if only to get rid of the silence, "What was your lives like before the war?" To says, asking the first thing that popped into his head.

"Hard." Steve says, saying the first word that comes to mind.

"Yeah, that pretty much covers it." Bucky says with a nod, completely agreeing.

"I was sick a lot, small. There was a lot I couldn't do, and I got into a lot of fights." Steve explains "Honestly if it wasn't for Bucky I probably wouldn't have made it."

"We looked out for each other for so long, for the longest time we were the only people each other had." Bucky explains.

"You know I've seen a lot of pictures of you from before the formula." Tony reveals, looking at Steve.

"You have?" Steve and Bucky ask surprised.

"Yeah, Dad and Peggy used to show me photos, they had a lot." Tony explains, "They were like treasured possessions." He admits.

"Huh." Steve says, not sure how to respond to that.

"So um, you graduated MIT at 17 what was that like?" Bucky asks, seeing that Steve needs a minute.

"It was okay." Tony says, "It was the first time I could actually challenge myself which was good and I met Rhodey there so things could have been worse." Tony says and the three of them drift into silence.

"So…" Tony says after a few more minutes of awkward silence, "Thor getting you to drink the Asgardian alcohol was that the only time you had felt alcohol since the formula?" Tony asks curious looking at Steve.

"Yes, even with Howard's best attempt to change that." Steve says, with a fond smile.

Knowing exactly what Steve is talking about Bucky grins as this particular story is one of his fondest memories.

"What he do?" Tony asks interested.

"One night after a bad mission…."

"Bad mission? That's an understatement." Bucky says.

"Do you want to tell the story?" Steve asks turning to look at Bucky.

"No, you tell it. I'm just saying that the mission was more than bad." Bucky explains.

"Okay I get it things were horrible, continue." Tony requests.

"Well, like I was saying after a mission Howard told me that he was getting me drunk, that he was a genius and that he would find a way to beat the formula and so he tried, he didn't succeed though." Steve explains getting a truly happy look on his face as he thinks about what else happened that night, knowing exactly what story Steve is going to tell Bucky finds himself smiling too.

"Why are you smiling about something that was a failure?"

"That's not what he's smiling about." Bucky mutters too quiet for anyone to hear.

"I'm not. I'm smiling about what else happened that night." Steve explains.

"Oh what was that?" Tony asks, his curiosity overshadowing his common sense and logical which would tell him exactly what Steve and Bucky are thinking about if he listened.

"You don't want to know." Bucky says before Steve has a chance.

"Oh gross." Tony says looking disturbed, "New rule; no talking about anything that is going to make me want to jump out of a window without my suit or out of a moving vehicular, deal?"

"Deal." Steve and Bucky say.

"Good." Tony says

"Good." Steve and Bucky both respond and once more they drift into silence.

"Tony, Rhodey told us what happened ten years ago." Steve says, deciding to break the silence after a couple of minutes, feeling like it may be best to be honest.

"Of course he did." Tony mutters, not even surprised, "So I guess you're going to tell me that I need to rest, that I need to look after myself, and all that crap." He says looking at Steve.

"I thought about it, but then I realised that you the son of four of the most stubborn, most determine people, that I've ever known so I figured it wouldn't be much use." Steve says.

"Then why did you bring up what happened ten years ago?" Tony asks.

"Because I thought you deserved to know that we know." Steve says, "And because even though I get your reasons and I don't have the right to I'm going to ask you not to deal with this like that." Steve says as like he said he figures it's not much use he needs to try, just in a different way to what he said.

In response to that Tony just snorts and goes back to what he is doing, while Bucky and Steve exchange looks, both trying to figure out what to say, "You can both leave." Tony says after a few minutes, it being clear that he isn't okay with them staying anymore.

"I'll bring some food down later." Steve tells Tony after exchanging a look with Bucky.

"You do that." Tony says sarcastically as Bucky and Steve walk out of the lab.

* * *

For the next few hours Tony just continues to work, purposely not thinking about everything he knows that he has to think about. He is so focused on what he is doing that Tony doesn't even realise that someone's walked into the lab until a cup of coffee is placed next to him, at that he looks up and is surprised to find The Vision rather than Pepper, Rhodey, Steve or Bucky who he was expecting.

"Did you need something?" Tony asks.

"No." Vision responds, "I may not be JARVIS, but I know everything that he knew, which means I know your habit of not seeing to your human needs."

Tony can't help but laugh at that, "So let me get this straight, not only do I have two ninety year olds who happen to be my Dads worried about me I have an android that used to be my AI too, oh this is just perfect." He says sarcastically.

"Maybe we are worried because experience indicates that we should be." Vision says.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I didn't expect you too." Vision says, "I've been doing calculations for a little while, your standard for error increases fifteen point two percent every hour after the first forty eight you go without sleeping and regularly eating." Vision says, "Going by the brain scans you are currently looking at you are continuing research you started ten years ago, research that is very important to you, I would think that you wouldn't want to risk any mistake on that."

"Well when you say it like that." Tony mutters realising that The Vision has just made a very valid argument, one he doesn't have a rebuttal for, "Maybe I should figure out my optimal working conditions." He says.

"That would be five hours of sleep, one hour of distraction, two large meals and ten to fifteen standard cups of coffee a day." Vision informs Tony.

"Guess I should get some sleep." Tony says, as everything Vision said makes sense so he figures that it is worth giving it a shot, standing up and walking across the lab, "Vision, thanks."

"What for?" Vision asks curious.

"For getting it." Tony responds.

"Of course." Vison says and Tony leaves the lab.

* * *

For three days Tony follows The Visions suggestions for his optimal working conditions and in doing so Tony finds that the time he spends working he manages to get more done. It is just after breakfast and because he knows that he will find them in the kitchen Tony heads there to talk to Steve and Bucky as he has made a decision.

When Tony walks into the kitchen he finds Bucky and Steve doing the dishes by hand.

"You know that there is a machine right next to you that does that, right?" Tony asks.

"We know, but sometimes it's nice to do something by hand." Steve says as he and Bucky turn around to face Tony, both of them being surprised to see him as it has been days since they have seen him.

"Right." Tony says, in a way understanding as he likes to build things with his hands but at the same time not, "So I've got to go out to one of Dad's old storage lockers to find some stuff and considering it is the one where he kept everything that belonged to the two of you I figured that you might want to come." Tony says.

"What do you mean where he kept everything that belonged to us?" Steve asks confused.

"Didn't Fury tell you?" Tony asks, "What am I saying, of course he didn't tell you." Tony says, realising that he should have known that.

"Howard kept our stuff?" Bucky asks surprised.

"Yeah. From what I know he collected it all after the war and kept it safe, always has." Tony says, "Most of it he kept at the storage locker but some, like pictures of you both before the war, he kept at home." Tony explains, realising that that should have been his first clue that there was something he didn't know.

At Tony's explanation it is clear that both Steve and Bucky are shocked. Considering everything neither of them expected to see their old stuff again.

"Well, um, if you want to come meet down in the garage in ten." Tony says before quickly leaving.

"I thought everything was lost, I can't believe it." Steve says shocked once Tony has left.

"Yeah, me either." Bucky says, wondering just what Howard kept, "Do you know what else I can't believe; Tony just invited us to spend time with him."

"He did, didn't he?" Steve says with a smile, "This is good Buck, this is very good." He says as for days he has been worrying, partly because he hasn't seen Tony as he has shut himself up in his lab.

"It is." Bucky confirms, "But it's also only the first step, things could take a while to get to how you want them to get." He informs Steve.

"I know."

* * *

About seven minutes after Tony left the kitchen Steve and Bucky walk into the garage where Tony is already waiting, unknown to Steve and Bucky he is counting to ten minutes in his head.

"So you're both coming?" Tony asks.

"We are." Steve confirms.

"Okay, good." Tony says, "There is something I just need to say." He says, "I don't think I'm ready for what you want." He says looking at Steve, who is doing his best not to look disappointed, "But, I would like to get to know you both better, get to know who you really are. I want to get to know the Steve and Bucky that Dad and Peggy always talked about, the side of you I saw in the past, the men behind the muscles." Tony says with a smirk, "Then with time, who knows what will happen." He says as he has spent a lot of the last three days thinking about what he wants and what it would mean.

"I think I speak for both of us when I say that we would really like that." Steve says and Bucky nods in agreement.

"Good, let's go." Tony says walking over to one of his cars and getting in the driver's side.

"You sit in the front, I'll go in the back." Bucky says as he and Steve walk to the car.

"You sure?"

"Yep." Bucky says and they both get in the car, both of them looking forward to getting to know Tony better as they realise that they have a chance of the three of them actually being a family, something which they were deprived of for so long.

**The END**

**AN3:**  So I didn't plan on this being the end by as I was reading this I discovered that it works as an ending. I've been struggling while I try and figure out where to go next with this story and I have realised that this works. There could be a sequel in the future.


End file.
